Nobody is Single.

Image: Bienenwabe

The first time I learnt about this story, The Lonely Death of Joyce Vincent ...some months back, I was moved to tears. I've always wanted to live alone, but with other people. I remember describing to someone, how if one lived alone, calling for help in an emergency may be impossible. I don't think humans are supposed to live alone. What bites me most about the story is that no one bothered to check for her, it hits close to home, but 3 years...astonishing. I wish we would realize how much strength we can find in reaching out to someone, and if we took more time outside of our own selves to reach out to people like this. 

I remember some weeks ago when I took a sick day off from work. I learnt about the death of El-rufai's daughter who is my agemate, and lived alone. I almost had a panic attack, I was so sad about it. I thought to myself, alone in my room. 'I don't want to end up like that'  Humans..we all need somebody.

This leads me to one thing that is true, Nobody is Single. Everyone has atleast one relationship with another person. And even if you can't pinpoint a specific relationship, think of your relationship with Humankind and Nature. A man-woman relationship or sexual relationship isn't the zenith of relationships, it is just ONE kind. People should not be made to feel less than they are because they are not  in that kind of relationship, some can EASILY do without this (e.g ME) with no sense of loss. 

Ofcourse 'society' will pander to what sells, Sex, Romance, this drives SALES, but is really a selfish concept and has made people think less of themselves. The individualistic philosophy of the Western world, where everyone screams ME, ME, ME has lead to this terrible, harmful mindset. We can do without this and is really the better way.

If you are alone in your house this season, stop thinking about yourself for one second and lamenting that you are 'single' There are many out there, who need someone to talk to. Call somebody, Go to your local shelter and volunteer, do something!

I hope it won't be too late for us to realize that all we have is each other.


Edit: If you can read> http://www.cascadance.com/why-neuroscience/
also, Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers..where he writes about the Rosetta Community, very interesting.

A Festival of Slaps

Ok, so I thought this video below was very funny. So funny that it made tears run down my cheeks. If it doesn't make you laugh, then we can't be friends.

A week ago, I heard about another 'festival of slaps' video, and was keen to see what it was all about. I heard it involved 'Bishop' Oyedepo, I knew this was not going to make me laugh given his past records and I was right.

Not only did I not laugh, I felt angry. So angry it made tears run down my cheeks. If it doesn't make you sad, then you can't be human.

I am sad about Ignorance, one which led her to that church.

I am angry that this man could assault someone and in public then go scot-free. Not only preaching a self-centered gospel but living in that way. It makes me boil.

What can We do? 

Educate People, Take a Stand against such and Pray! 

Ceremonials

One of the better albums I've listened to this year. My best songs are;
Shake It Out
No Light, No Light
Never Let Me Go
If Only For The Night
Spectrum
Remain Nameless
Heartlines

Plus I just realized that 'You've got the love' is a Gospel track, I couldn't love it more.

Are You Bored?

see funny christmas pics here

I don't like to believe that I am the only who is bored of having to celebrate the same things, year in, year out. Are we so uncreative that we cannot attempt to make our celebrations a bit more 'special' 

 It saddens me that organizations use these celebrations, these 'traditions' to prey on us the gullible, adverts go up when you expect them, urging you to buy some expensive gift for your 'loved ones' 

 I am quite certain that if we refuse to accept things that have just been handed to us, it would be less easy for things to control us. 

 That said, I can't wait to move to my farm.

Blink!

'Snap Judgements' 'Impulse buys' 'First Impressions' We all know what these mean, decisions we take at the spur of the moment which are not premeditated or planned before hand. I call FALSE, and this is exactly what Malcolm Gladwell in his Blink! book points out. Snap judgments are not really made up there and then, they take time to build up, they are 'learned'. Even emotions, a hot tempered person wasn't born hot tempered. Actions and Decisions are complex, nothing really happens 'simply'

Yesterday I tried to explain the reasons I left Twitter to someone who asked why. I remember saying 'It wasn't like I planned it or anything, I was just tweeting and then I just stopped' When I put the phone down, I felt like I had just lied. While my decision at the time, appeared to be done, 'snaply' I had thought about leaving twitter, times without number, I had thought of the things that I couldn't reconcile with myself. Basically it had been a long time coming.

Another example, would be suicides which leave you with no explanations as to what must have happened. Gary Speed, everyone is saying 'oh he was so happy, this and that, the day began like every other day'. I don't think he was possessed or someone killed him, so what happened?. It may seem like a spur of the moment thing, but it really is just an outward manifestation of minutes, seconds, days of buildup in the mind.

Next time you think your decision or action 'just happened', blink, think again. I am sure that having this knowledge would help us give our actions a second over before we make them. It will also help us reduce the judgements we pass on others and frequency of bad decisions or actions. 

Living with Harry

I got to speak about my dogs this weekend, and it almost brought tears to my eyes. I miss having my wolf-dogs around for lots of reasons. Right now, I have to put up living with a cat, I wonder if my landlady will allow me get a dog in, the chances are slim. Also, who would take care of the dog?, I'm out of the house for the most part of the week, even though I try to keep my weekends to myself. 

Living with a cat is well..different. Harry is a black cat, which I found out recently is one of the most unlikable cats. I mean in Nigeria, I know their reasons, what with black cats being evil and witchcraft connected, but right here too, many seem not to want them.  Harry only purrs and pays you mind, when he is hungry. Harry is quite old, so he doesn't seem to do a lot of sneering. I have carried him once or twice without claws coming out or receiving the deadly cat spit. It really is a different mood with this animal. There is no warm receive from this cat, just green-eyed looks that make you want to shake it to its bones, and scream, 'say something will ya'!

I will try to see what I can do about getting a dog. In a little time of over 3months, Harry has taught me that I will never be a cat person.

I have an Infection

I have played this song no less than 500 times in a week. Even after I stop playing it, 'Gold Canary' 'Gold Canary' still keeps ringing in my brain, I do not know why.

Tell Me Like It Is

I am a stickler for honesty. Anyone who knows me, knows that. We have a few people we know who we can hold that label up for. It's even more difficult on the internet where it seems, we have free reign to invent the sort of life we think we ought to have or maybe what we want others to see.

Given this, it is always such a big thing, to run into someone who tells it like it is, how are you sure? you say. I don't know why, the book, Blink! talks much about this sorts of things, but..I ask you to take a look yourself.

I introduce you to Penelope Trunk. You will not like lots of the things she writes, I don't. I can't describe the way it's playing in my brain...but I appreciate this lady so much.

Are You a Stylist?

So, I'm thinking of having a blog to post ( or just posting here), stuff that I wear to work. One of the funniest things, I learnt this past week is that people see me in a veeery different light at work. One guy who had been stalking me (I'm serious!) said he thought I was a stylist, because I wear 'crazy' stuff to work. Let me tell you about where I work.


I work in an online games company. The male to female ratio is 20:1. Most people are on Jeans and Teeshirts (even the females) or smart trouser and smart shirts/smart dress. But I burst in there with all my colours and my uncoventional hair-do, and I'm branded, crazy, weird, pyscho....(in jest or reality, doesn't matter)
They don't even take it into consideration that while I'm not a Developer, part of my job is to make their lives easy *shakes head at their ignorance*


Anyways after having a good laugh over it, it was like an inception into my mind and I began to think, hmm..why not do this, at least when I have the time. I think it would be fun, and maybe I won't appear to be so crazy after all! lol.

Why You Need to Cook

So I was on this website and yet again, the article spoke about a guy who told a girl that she was single because she couldn't cook.
On the contrary I think I'm single because I can cook and I cook. I have no time for fancy dinners or movie dates, because I need to go home. I live 40mins away from work on the tube and no one is going to give me their food for lunch.


That said, not that I think cooking or non-cooking equates to one's single or doubleness, it is important for people to know how to cook. At least at the basic level, no one is saying to become a Gordon or Nigella. 


1. You don't know when you will really need the skill. 


2. It is way healthier, plus you will be able to track things easily when you fall ill. You really don't want to know what happen behind the doors in restaurants. Keep eating out at the minimum.


3. It saves money. I could spend my whole months grocery cost on a week of eating out, even less than a week.


4. It could be loads of fun, yes, this said from someone who doesn't like cooking. But I managed to 'invent' a nice dish, that I'd never seen anyone do and it was great, even my co-workers were like, hmm that smells good and looks real healthy. It was.


5. Therapeutic? yes sometimes, or times its just a rush and mess, but then you can go into it with a mindset to relax after work or on the weekends and whip something up. I find that most of my cooking doesn't take more than an hour, and that's fine by me.


6. If you get to cook for people, even better! isn't it great seeing people happy? and satisfied? I think it does help to bind people together. Like I've said before cooking is one way to show love ^_^. If couples are fighting, it's hard for them to cook for each other, except there's poison in it. lol.


This is not exhaustive...but yes, cook!

Rant about Proposals

I really don't get wedding proposals to be honest. and why does it have to be in public, most of the time???

Let's break it down a bit. Why do we need to have wedding proposals?
I figure;

1. The person proposing doesn't know what the other will say, this begs the question, why propose at all to someone you are unsure of and in public, thus risking humiliation from both the person and onlookers??

2. The person proposing knows what the answer is, this begs the question, why do all the acting and feigning of surprise, I mean seriously??

Just thinking...

I'm Awkward and I love it!

Also! I love Awkward Girl!! You have to watch ALL the episodes! I've laughed myself into tears!! LOL

Enjoy!

Rainbows!!

Everyone loves rainbows :D
Took this from my home window...it was a massive one and I was pretty excited because I hadn't seen one in a long while, how beautiful ^_^

An Interview

I posted on a blog some months ago and just stumbled on the questions I answered. A bit of an insight into yours truly.




What is your favorite time of the day?
12 am to 6am! Because most people are asleep, Its quiet and its serene, wheew!


What time do you like to go to bed at night and get up in the morning?
I need to sleep better but for now, I go to bed at 2am and wake up at 9am (At the moment I go to bed at 12am and wake up at 8am or 7:30am)


What are your top three skills?
Objectiveness, Imagination and Empathy


What kind of humor do you like? Quirky? Slapstick? Dirty?
Quirky, Slapstick, Sarcastic, Clowny. Nothing dirty


What is your favorite way to relax?
Music in the background, with a book and some food, alone. I love water, so, under the shower, in the bath or pool. Watching a comedy with food, alone or with one special person.


What are you smartest about?
Ideas, Drawing, Discernment.(Design..)


Who is your favorite person to go to when you need help?
I usually try to help myself.(Definitely God, if can be considered a person)


Who comes to you for help?
Some friends on specific areas.


What’s the most difficult thing you’ve ever done? What skills did it take to do it? How did you feel afterwards?
I can’t remember. (Now that I rethink, it probably has to be living for a year with a family)


What kind of books do you like?
Different genres, I just have to like the plot. I avoid most romance novels though, because they have the same structure.


How would you dress if you had an unlimited budget?
Jeans/skirt and teeshirt with sandals. A dress and sandals


What is your favorite type of movie?
Comedies, Animation, some musicals.


What are your favorite foods?
Anything crunchy.


What pastimes do you enjoy? (e.g. cooking, writing, dancing)
Being a child, running helter skelter


What are the three most important things you’ve learned in the past year?
1. How much responsible I am for the things that happen to me
2. That God is all I need.
3. Love is truly unconditional


What would your friends say that they love about you?
Craziness, Intelligence, Creativity, Simplicity


What do you love about yourself?
Same ^^


What are you most proud of in your life?
I can only boast in Christ, I am glad I can find contentment in the simplest things


When are you most yourself?
Any and Everytime (Under stress/pressure, my weaknesses play up)


What challenge are you facing in your life right now?
I’m under a little bit of pressure to be financially free (I am financially free to an extent now :) )

This Introversion Thing

I don't think I've ever wanted for one moment to be high on Extraversion..

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?
If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?
If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert..

When I started reading this I was like :O because just hours ago, someone kept telling me, you are 'too serious' and cold-hearted. I just wanted to go and sleep.

They Finally Got Me

Yeah, I thought I was so smart. But they finally nicked my purse. This happened in seconds, and the guy was no where to be found. I was actually chatting with him initially, of course he looked suspicious, but I felt with the number of people around, he wouldn't try anything but that's his career not mine *sigh*
I still can't believe it, my head hurts from thinking about it but it's all just replaceable stuff. I still have hope that my purse would be found though.

Spyro: Happiness that lingers

So the first 'worldly' thing that popped into my head this morning when I woke up was Spyro! I think I have blogged about Spyro somewhere before, not sure of that. 

I mean, I loved the little cheeky thing, this is one of the games where I loved almost every single character, I loved the soundtrack and the whole game environment. I didn't even know that At Game Rankings, it is one of the top twenty highest-rated PlayStation games of all time. It sure deserves that. 

I clocked almost 2000 hours playing this game if not much more. Thinking about it brings joy and happiness, I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face. One thing that was great was, my siblings also loved it, and it was so much fun, just remembering the lot of us playing it, I am really grateful for what I have and what I've had. My childhood in this kind of world we live in, was pure 'luck', I appreciate it.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.  ~Frederick Keonig

Have a peep right here, if you have never played it, Enjoy!

Lookey what I found!

Yeah!! luckily I work in one of the best areas in LDN. Walking around and exploring the area, I discovered a lot of vintage clothing stores, music stores, book stores with lots and lots and lots of items at very cheap prices. This particular store I went to has lots of comics and manga, I was looking for a health store actually when I wandered into this one. Didn't buy anything but I was amazed. I surely will be going back there as I build up my book/manga/comic collection :D

ooh ooh, Happy July!!

Eats, Shoots and Leaves

I love Pandas.

.....so now I've entered 'Work Mode' it's fresh, its exciting, it's very busy. I'd love to blog more, but I can't think of anything that has just been stuck in my head to put down, maybe it's the mindset I currently have that I need to change. But yeah *sigh* something will come up soon.lol. Same 'ol stuff is going on in me life, work, church, home and the occasional dinner...can't wait for some spiceey stuff...oh wait I do have something to share, just remembered, I hope I put it down soon enough..for now 'CHAIRS'! :D

LoveySunny

Sunny, Lovely day today..got my vitamin D on! just lovely..it was so hot and the funny thing is, the topic in bible-study was on 'Hell' HA! Anyways, I wish for more days like this ^_^