On Marriage

I have written about marriage a number of times, 

Excerpts from TD Jake's book, which I still agree with, Marriage made me catch cold. Facebook said my wedding would be June of this year, well it's September and I'm still unmarried, in your face Facebook! My uncle said I would marry a Yoruba guy, which made me really laugh, he just might be right. I still stand by this post, No one should be getting married just to have offspring Funny enough, that same friend, wanted to date me this year, naaa. 

I started a series called the Mrs Club, you can read part 1, part 2, part 3. I still don't get proposals and My husband can come from anywhere, yes, even the internet! 

But! I must revisit the subject for some reasons. I admit, I have an aversion for the matter, I do not like to see people (some) get married, mainly because they don't seem to understand what they are doing. I do get a sick sense of satisfaction when I see some get divorced, It's almost like me saying 'I told you!'

Anyway, even in that I asked God to help me see it in a different light, why? because God created humans and created marriage. "For this reason.." That's the only way I was going to drop my selfish and stubborn approach.

Something dawned on me today when I talked to a colleague who just got married. She had been already been living together with her husband, they had a house, joint accounts and properties for the past 7 years. I asked her if she felt different and you could see the joy in her face. She said she had no idea she would be 'happier' even though, after the registry and intimate celebration with friends they went back to their normal routine. There was no reason for her to be happy, nothing had changed, she didn't gain any thing. 

Yes, I realized that the reason for her joy was the simple fact that God ordained marriage. Now, moving on to the other things that became clear to me. This is all gonna get spiritual up in here!

1. The Root (The proposal)

The bible makes it clear that our salvation depends on God alone. We depend on God. We are just to accept the gift but we can't do anything to make God love us more or less neither can we do anything to turn us holy or holier, grace is freely given. 

Marriage is a shadow of salvation, Paul talks to Husbands and Wives in Eph 5:22-33 and in 32, talks about the root and the whole point. Christ and us the Church. Marriage for us should be such that when we accept our groom's proposal, nothing should be able to come between us. The Groom should not love us less or more based on our behaviors, I know we are but humans... The Groom as the name implies should be helping us become a better person (vice versa on the human level) 

2.The Mark (The contract)We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit Eph 1:13,14. We have not just been proposed to, but a contract has been drawn up, and sealed. The bible makes a clear distinction between spouses and partners we just live with (See the Woman at the well) We are Christs's without a shadow of a doubt. People tend to respond very well to facts (A marriage certificate for example). This is where for me the importance of having a tangible marriage contract comes in, even though I still don't think it should be physical.  However at this point, we don't do things to make our groom love us more, instead we do things because of the love the groom has poured on us and overflows from us. How do you love?, you do the things your beloved asks you to do, If my husband, asked me to go to the registry court with him, I would go now with no argument. Another aspect is obeying the laws of the land, if the country you live in doesn't recognize a marriage without it being officially put down in the registry you shouldn't disobey, live by the laws of the land. 1 Peter 2:13-17.

3.The Fruits (The feast)

Now, for folks that are in Christ, you didn't accept Christ so you can bear fruits, you bear fruits only because Christ transforms you. You don't do good so that God can love you, You do good because God loves you. Same with marriage. In the bible, offspring are referred to as fruits and also the actions of the Spirit. So, you don't bear a child so you can be married neither do you go into a marriage so you can bear children. The love you have within your marriage should be the motivator for you to bear fruits, children. And even if you don't bear fruits that people see, it doesn't invalidate your salvation. The thief on the cross didn't have a chance to bear fruit but he was going to be in paradise with Christ. So people who do not have children are not less married. Children should be born out of love.

Wheew, that's as far as my thoughts have carried me, until next time.

Peace.

The Ugly Truth

I'd been thinking of getting my teeth fixed, so I went for a free consultation to check out what could be done and at what cost. At the end of the consult, the doctor told me 'I hope I didn't make you feel bad' why? I had only gone to check my teeth and then I was told I had a facial deformity. I had suspected this before and naturally began to feel sorry for myself, but even much more, it made me begin to think about beauty and ugliness in a new way.

People like the platitude that goes 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder' however there are beauties and uglies that lie in the eyes of ALL beholders. This has nothing to do with certain races or certain features on a body or face. It is all about genetics; bone structure, cultural elements and mechanical incidents.

My worldview begins with God creating the world and sin corrupting creation. In light of this, it makes a lot of sense, when I consider that sin actually makes us ugly, both inside and outside. God's love and grace heals both in His time. God saves the spirit which is twisted, ugly and only tending to death and will allow this corrupted body to die, allowing us to be raised in new bodies.God also saves the corrupted body, through miraculous healings and the intelligence of Doctors to correct some of these conditions.

From my consultation and further research I made, even if you don't share my worldview, it is easy to see that the people we would choose as being ugly or not very fine, perhaps plain, would have one deformity or the other. These deformities are usually passed down by genetic accident, e.g I inherited my dad's deformity but my other sisters didn't) Some obviously are caused by mechanical injury, blows, fire, car accidents e.t.c.

Understanding all of this, makes me see ugliness/beauty in a new light. None of us chose our faces or bodies when we were born. Most of us did not choose to be in accidents that deform us neither to be born into cultures which do so. Therefore it begs us to be kind to one another. It certainly would not get rid of the ugliness but it will stop you from being ugly. It's not about looking beyond the ugliness, which you can't but welcoming it knowing that in the end, age and time will deal with us all accordingly.

As someone who believes in Christ, It makes me hate sin much more, it makes me long for an incorruptible world, one which we have been promised. The most wonderful thing is despite all these imperfections, we are still the same in value, we call some of these imperfections quirks, and people even love us for these particular flaws. This is what you get with a GOOD, Wonderfully and Fearfully made product :)

Quick Questions

Will you correct your deformity?

The Doctor told me I would have to lose about 8 of my teeth and then break my bones to fuse things together properly. OMG. I don't think I'm going to risk this especially in the light of what I know. Many have done it and the change is really remarkable, but there is no guarantee I would like my new face, no matter how fine it is :)

How do I acknowledge ugliness

Humans know right from wrong. We will always naturally gravitate to what gives us the most pleasure, be it in what we see, hear, taste. One thing I try to keep at the back of my mind is, 'we did not create our looks' It could have been anyone. If health is being affected, then encourage them to get these conditions corrected. Also, never forget that beauty on the inside is much more sustaining and attractive in the long run. 

How to Expose Fake Prophets

The other day, A TV programme showed how fake pastors extract monies from people and conduct fake healing sessions, its a sad thing but its not out of this world. I think nothing new was exposed on the programme and it was just a waste of time, energy and effort, it was quite boring. The bible has exact predictions on what these people are, Vicious Wolves!  it calls them. If only those who claim to be Christians would read the bible more or actually desire a stronger relationship with God would we be able to discern EASILY this fakeness. ''Only by being thoroughly familiar with the truth will we be able to recognize a counterfeit.''

• 2 Peter 2 talks specifically about these false preachers.
• 2 Corinthians 11
• Colossians 2 Warns about thinking to Christ! not Man and Man's rules
• Hebrews 13
• 2 Timothy 4:1 - 4
• Matthew 7 : 15 - 23

I particularly like this article, because we have a responsibility to protect ourselves and others from the tactics of these wicked people

So, how do we protect ourselves?

• Don't Believe Anyone Who Ignores, Or Disagrees With, God's Word

About 30 years ago, I recall hearing a preacher bellowing, "Don't believe me, believe your Bible." The honest logic of that man's statement cannot be refuted or argued with. Humans can be, or go, wrong. God's Word will never fail you, because God will never fail you.
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away." (Luke 21:33)

• Prove All Things

Never just take someone's word as "gospel," regardless of how educated or exalted they may be, or appear to be. True Christian servants ("minister" means servant, "apostle" means messenger, "evangelist" means announcer) are not offended if you check to see if what they say is correct, or question them if you find something that you think is wrong. In fact, they expect you to do so:
"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world." (1 John 4:1 RSV)
"test everything; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21 RSV)

• Know Your Bible

Familiarity with the Scriptures, all of the Scriptures, is a vital defense. Amazing as it may seem, many Christian-professing people actually have not read all of The Bible at least one time. Once each year should be the minimum for everyone.
Daily Bible Study has an easy and enjoyable daily Bible reading plan, requiring only a few minutes each day, that covers the entire Bible in 1 year. See 1 Year Reading Plan

• Follow Christ, Obey God

God's true servants want you to obey God, not them. Follow them only if they follow Christ.
"For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps." (1 Peter 2:21 RSV)
"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ ... and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3 RSV)

• Beware Of "Miracles"

While in the end time God's true prophets will perform great miracles (see The Two Witnesses and Down Without A Fight?), there will also be great Satan-empowered "miracles" which will deceive many:
"It works great signs, even making fire come down from heaven to earth in the sight of men; and by the signs which it is allowed to work in the presence of the beast, it deceives those who dwell on earth, bidding them make an image for the beast which was wounded by the sword and yet lived" (Revelation 13:13-14 RSV)

• "Prophet" Doesn't Mean "Profit"

Money is of course necessary to pay for living and operating expenses, but acquiring great personal wealth from one's service to God cannot be justified. There are many honest and righteous ways of earning a lot of money. Christianity is not one of them.
In the Old Testament, Abraham was considered righteous by God (Galatians 3:6), and at the same time he became very wealthy (Genesis 13:2). But his personal wealth came from business activity. It wasn't given to Abraham as a way of worshipping God.
Later, the apostle Paul, a man who actually wrote a large part of the New Testament, although having to accept occasion help because of his difficult circumstances, worked whenever he could, as a tent maker, at the same time of his ministry (Acts 18:3).
According to Paul, "For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word; but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ." (2 Corinthians 2:17 RSV)
God's true servants are not interested in taking from you. They want to give to you, not worldly money that is quickly spent, but true wealth, the knowledge and understanding that will enable you to obtain the eternal spiritual riches that will last forever. God's true servants don't want your money. They want you to obey God.