Praise the Lord.

On that day, when evening had come, He told them, “Let’s cross over to the other side of the sea.” So they left the crowd and took Him along since He was already in the boat. And other boats were with Him. 

 A fierce windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking over the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But He was in the stern, sleeping on the cushion. So they woke Him up and said to Him, “Teacher! Don’t You care that we’re going to die?” 

He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Silence! Be still!” The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. Then He said to them, “Why are you fearful? Do you still have no faith?” 

And they were terrified and asked one another, “Who then is this? Even the wind and the sea obey Him"

The study was on Mark, never really studied it before and looked forward to learning new perspectives.

So it was important to finally get what Jesus said in Mark 4:35 "Let's cross over to the other side of the sea"  If Jesus says this why would it matter if there was a raging storm?

I have never really minded storms of life, I accepted them since I was a kid, however there was something I've always craved, my own person.

I always wanted a person who was closest to me and was with me through thick and thin, and I with them.
Kept searching, looking for this person in women ((not romantic), in men (friend then romantic) online, offline.

At least 20yrs went by and it wasn't until my recent storms I realised I didn't have to search anymore, Jesus is with me always. He is the friend who is always there through thick and thin. Humans are not guaranteed to be and we must not throw this weight of expectation on people.

Even though it feels lonely daily to not have an 'everyday friend' I know feelings aren't truth, the truth is God is with me always.

I also learn to appreciate the gifts from others when they come, I learn to give of what I've been given, share the love I've been so lavished with and still pray in faith for God's good gifts in form of friends and a life partner, trusting that God gives as God sees fit.

I'm so grateful that we have the Lord almighty with us in storms and in calm, always.

Praise the Lord!

The Measure of a Man

I stumbled upon a playlist sometime in early May on Youtube and I've been hooked since then. I had no idea how much it was going to affect and influence my life over the weeks to come. I had no idea how my life was going to radically change.

First, it was the promise of true love and then, the death of it, followed by the realization of a love that never ends..

Emotional, turbulent are not enough to describe the past few months. *phew* the tears still threaten to fall. Weariness that comes from the innards, where no amount of resting will salve still washes over me. Yet, I am grateful, what madness is this?

One of the songs on the playlist, which is from Forerunner Music is called "Measure of a man" by Misty Edwards the lyrics go like this

The measure of a man is the measure of his heart
The measure of a man is the measure of his love

You don't measure me like man may see
You're looking at my heart, the core of me
Your eyes of fire see differently
Keep me in the gaze of love

The measure of a man is the measure of his heart
The measure of a man is the measure of his love

When it's all been said, when it's all been done
When the race is run, well it all comes down to love

Did you learn to love? That's what You will ask of me
Did you learn to love? Not about my ministry
Did you learn to love? Not about my money
Did you learn to love? Did you learn to love?

These were the questions I had to ponder after facing the biting reality of a heart that will no longer beat. What is life really all about? Alcohol? What is love in the midst of all this? What am I to do? What is the important thing?

Love. 

Stark and raw, not like the world gives.

Loved first so now we can love truly.

Yes, I am so grateful. A gratitude that moves me to tears though it's the first time I see my brain actively try to block memories.
oh what change, the look ahead on entering a new decade, what does it feel like? how have I changed? Wiser? What have I achieved? more questions to ponder. 
No matter what, the answer remains.

Love.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails.

Not Alone

You never feel more alone than when facing the passing of a very dear one. Even the closest people cannot come close enough. They can't sit with you deep inside your mind, your heart, to have a feel of that heavy weight of sadness, to breathe the thoughts and experiences that become solid as rock.

More piercing is when you are abandoned at the moment of deepest need by family, friends... I can't begin to imagine what Jesus felt when he faced his own loss, and everyone abandoned him. At that moment on the cross, he even felt God had abandoned him.

Yet, not alone.

How could we be? Did we create we? Can the clay say it is alone, when the thumbprints of the moulder resides everywhere and in it's innermost parts?

No, we are not alone. Jesus was not...even if he felt like that his final words were “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” Luke 23:46.  Those are the words of someone who knew they are not alone. 

Yes, the flesh constantly cries out, "I'm abandoned, woe is me!" but the truth speaks louder, I am with you always Matt 28:20. The Psalmist acknowledges this in Psalm 139. From the moment we took our first breath till we return to the one who gave us privilege to walk this earth as humans.

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand" Isaiah 41:10

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deut 31:6

Therefore, the truth of God's words are lovely and comforting because it assures us that no matter what God calls us to do or what God permits to happen in our lives, God will be there with us. God will never leave or forsake us.

The Ransom was Paid!

I sat there in my heartache, cold, without much to survive on. Constantly prodded, teased and insulted, I never knew I could escape. In short, I had lost all hope.
But, my heart cried out, it did, even when I had thought I had lost it all. I was answered. Indeed I was.

We don't think about it so much, but we are saved like someone who was kidnapped and has a ransomed paid for them. The kidnapped person cannot save themselves, so us in our sin.

The psalmist cries out

"Rise up! Help us! Ransom us because of your unfailing love" Psalm 44:26

not because we deserve it, but because of love that never fails...The psalmist knew that we could not do it ourselves;

"Yet they cannot redeem themselves from death by paying a ransom to God" Psalm 49:7

Elihu, one of Job's friend makes the statement, what if there was someone that could rescue us, what would happen?...

“But if an angel from heaven appears—
    a special messenger to intercede for a person
    and declare that he is upright—

he will be gracious and say,
‘Rescue him from the grave,
    for I have found a ransom for his life.’
Then his body will become as healthy as a child’s,
    firm and youthful again" Job 33

We then learn the good news that Jesus is our ransom!

"God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but now in these last days he has been revealed for your sake" 1 Peter 1:20
"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45

"For you know that God paid "a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value." 1 Peter 1:18

      Oh what Joy, and Love for ever!!!

"He ransoms me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, though many still oppose me" Psalms 55:18 

"I will shout for joy and sing your praises, for you have ransomed me" Psalms 71:23

"He has paid a full ransom for his people. He has guaranteed his covenant with them forever. What a holy, awe-inspiring name he has!" Psalm 111:9 

"And they sang a new song with these words: “You are worthy to take the scroll and break its seals and open it. For you were slaughtered, and your blood has ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation" Rev 5:9

.

The Only Thing Love Regrets

Is not showing more love...

This has been the clearest thing to me and biggest learning of my year so far. I look into myself and see how much God has changed me, some may put it down to maturity, we might be able to fool others, but we can't fool ourselves. I look at some of the things I used to write just a few years back, I laugh, I shake my head, I thank God I'm not the same person.

Now, I see the folly of many of my ways, I see that there was absolutely no need to behave the way I did many times. Real love does not regret loving someone even if they turn out a fool, real love puts in the best and does not regret it. Many times I hesitate because I sense something negative from the person, so what? We as Christians have been called to partake in real love, love that has power to change things for good. Not only are we called, we have been empowered to walk that way. So what have I been waiting for?
Jesus Christ gave us a fantastic portrayal of what real love is about, laying one's life down for friends, even before they become friends... Love is a present and is present, it's not something that has an end, if it does, it wasn't love. Love is personal but not performance based. Love should be said but must be shown.
There so many things I look back that I would do differently in my relationships, my relationships with family, friends, love interests and even strangers. The only thing that hurts me is I had an opportunity to love and I didn't do it. *I'm literally in tears as I write this* I repent of all the times I have not loved as I should have.
I'm grateful that today is another day, another opportunity to love truly. I know certain things go against my personality, but I'm operating under a new identity.  My feelings take me the opposite way many time, but love transcends feelings because it's focus is the good of the other. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I know God answers prayers.

-------------------------
Essential Reading

Bible.
Kierkegaard's Works of Love.

Circus Kids

The Clown.

He made them giggle, loudly too. I'd never thought the sound of 50+ children, laughing, could be so beautiful. They were with family, and they seemed to be having a great time as well. Then something struck me...

Children.

Do we, should we all want them? We all were once, for some people it's actually hard to believe they were that tiny (pics or it didn't happen). I struggle with my thoughts around having children. I've always thought I'd love to do a Jolie-Pitt but there are so many things I'm scared of, things I'm not convinced of. Research says children do not make you happier i.e you don't have kids so you can be happy because it will go the opposite way, fast. So why then?

While sat in the Circus with the sound of laughter rising above the smell of animal urine, I began to understand a reason why. God didn't create us to make God happier, we were created to delight in this happy God, to share God's joy and bask in God's love, such delight. It's a huge responsibility but seeing all those families glowing made me want to share my love, share my joy. I was glad to have my sister with me, we had a jolly time.

On Marriage

I have written about marriage a number of times, 

Excerpts from TD Jake's book, which I still agree with, Marriage made me catch cold. Facebook said my wedding would be June of this year, well it's September and I'm still unmarried, in your face Facebook! My uncle said I would marry a Yoruba guy, which made me really laugh, he just might be right. I still stand by this post, No one should be getting married just to have offspring Funny enough, that same friend, wanted to date me this year, naaa. 

I started a series called the Mrs Club, you can read part 1, part 2, part 3. I still don't get proposals and My husband can come from anywhere, yes, even the internet! 

But! I must revisit the subject for some reasons. I admit, I have an aversion for the matter, I do not like to see people (some) get married, mainly because they don't seem to understand what they are doing. I do get a sick sense of satisfaction when I see some get divorced, It's almost like me saying 'I told you!'

Anyway, even in that I asked God to help me see it in a different light, why? because God created humans and created marriage. "For this reason.." That's the only way I was going to drop my selfish and stubborn approach.

Something dawned on me today when I talked to a colleague who just got married. She had been already been living together with her husband, they had a house, joint accounts and properties for the past 7 years. I asked her if she felt different and you could see the joy in her face. She said she had no idea she would be 'happier' even though, after the registry and intimate celebration with friends they went back to their normal routine. There was no reason for her to be happy, nothing had changed, she didn't gain any thing. 

Yes, I realized that the reason for her joy was the simple fact that God ordained marriage. Now, moving on to the other things that became clear to me. This is all gonna get spiritual up in here!

1. The Root (The proposal)

The bible makes it clear that our salvation depends on God alone. We depend on God. We are just to accept the gift but we can't do anything to make God love us more or less neither can we do anything to turn us holy or holier, grace is freely given. 

Marriage is a shadow of salvation, Paul talks to Husbands and Wives in Eph 5:22-33 and in 32, talks about the root and the whole point. Christ and us the Church. Marriage for us should be such that when we accept our groom's proposal, nothing should be able to come between us. The Groom should not love us less or more based on our behaviors, I know we are but humans... The Groom as the name implies should be helping us become a better person (vice versa on the human level) 

2.The Mark (The contract)We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit Eph 1:13,14. We have not just been proposed to, but a contract has been drawn up, and sealed. The bible makes a clear distinction between spouses and partners we just live with (See the Woman at the well) We are Christs's without a shadow of a doubt. People tend to respond very well to facts (A marriage certificate for example). This is where for me the importance of having a tangible marriage contract comes in, even though I still don't think it should be physical.  However at this point, we don't do things to make our groom love us more, instead we do things because of the love the groom has poured on us and overflows from us. How do you love?, you do the things your beloved asks you to do, If my husband, asked me to go to the registry court with him, I would go now with no argument. Another aspect is obeying the laws of the land, if the country you live in doesn't recognize a marriage without it being officially put down in the registry you shouldn't disobey, live by the laws of the land. 1 Peter 2:13-17.

3.The Fruits (The feast)

Now, for folks that are in Christ, you didn't accept Christ so you can bear fruits, you bear fruits only because Christ transforms you. You don't do good so that God can love you, You do good because God loves you. Same with marriage. In the bible, offspring are referred to as fruits and also the actions of the Spirit. So, you don't bear a child so you can be married neither do you go into a marriage so you can bear children. The love you have within your marriage should be the motivator for you to bear fruits, children. And even if you don't bear fruits that people see, it doesn't invalidate your salvation. The thief on the cross didn't have a chance to bear fruit but he was going to be in paradise with Christ. So people who do not have children are not less married. Children should be born out of love.

Wheew, that's as far as my thoughts have carried me, until next time.

Peace.

The Ugly Truth

I'd been thinking of getting my teeth fixed, so I went for a free consultation to check out what could be done and at what cost. At the end of the consult, the doctor told me 'I hope I didn't make you feel bad' why? I had only gone to check my teeth and then I was told I had a facial deformity. I had suspected this before and naturally began to feel sorry for myself, but even much more, it made me begin to think about beauty and ugliness in a new way.

People like the platitude that goes 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder' however there are beauties and uglies that lie in the eyes of ALL beholders. This has nothing to do with certain races or certain features on a body or face. It is all about genetics; bone structure, cultural elements and mechanical incidents.

My worldview begins with God creating the world and sin corrupting creation. In light of this, it makes a lot of sense, when I consider that sin actually makes us ugly, both inside and outside. God's love and grace heals both in His time. God saves the spirit which is twisted, ugly and only tending to death and will allow this corrupted body to die, allowing us to be raised in new bodies.God also saves the corrupted body, through miraculous healings and the intelligence of Doctors to correct some of these conditions.

From my consultation and further research I made, even if you don't share my worldview, it is easy to see that the people we would choose as being ugly or not very fine, perhaps plain, would have one deformity or the other. These deformities are usually passed down by genetic accident, e.g I inherited my dad's deformity but my other sisters didn't) Some obviously are caused by mechanical injury, blows, fire, car accidents e.t.c.

Understanding all of this, makes me see ugliness/beauty in a new light. None of us chose our faces or bodies when we were born. Most of us did not choose to be in accidents that deform us neither to be born into cultures which do so. Therefore it begs us to be kind to one another. It certainly would not get rid of the ugliness but it will stop you from being ugly. It's not about looking beyond the ugliness, which you can't but welcoming it knowing that in the end, age and time will deal with us all accordingly.

As someone who believes in Christ, It makes me hate sin much more, it makes me long for an incorruptible world, one which we have been promised. The most wonderful thing is despite all these imperfections, we are still the same in value, we call some of these imperfections quirks, and people even love us for these particular flaws. This is what you get with a GOOD, Wonderfully and Fearfully made product :)

Quick Questions

Will you correct your deformity?

The Doctor told me I would have to lose about 8 of my teeth and then break my bones to fuse things together properly. OMG. I don't think I'm going to risk this especially in the light of what I know. Many have done it and the change is really remarkable, but there is no guarantee I would like my new face, no matter how fine it is :)

How do I acknowledge ugliness

Humans know right from wrong. We will always naturally gravitate to what gives us the most pleasure, be it in what we see, hear, taste. One thing I try to keep at the back of my mind is, 'we did not create our looks' It could have been anyone. If health is being affected, then encourage them to get these conditions corrected. Also, never forget that beauty on the inside is much more sustaining and attractive in the long run. 

Sharing Donut Stories

I have a Love-Hate relationship with donuts, once upon a time, I ate so many I stopped eating donuts for close to four years, only recently had some, It can be nice. But would I encourage people to eat donuts? hmm I don't think so, I don't think I would be sharing them either...

I remember someone asking me why we need to preach to people and share the gospel. Even as a kid, admittedly while I enjoyed all the activities we had growing up as 'Christian' (eating donuts!) I didn't understand most of the bible, or the crux of it. But I never had doubts as to why we had to tell others about the Gospel. It is something we do all the time, in many aspects of our lives, so why would this be different. People have no trouble telling their friends about the Sales that are going on on the High street, especially when the friend didn't even ask. You just got a job, you are happy, you will tell people. It is as simple as that. If there is going to be a disaster in the house that you know about, you would definitely tell everyone in it to leave even though they don't see it coming, it's as urgent as that. If your father tells you, My dear don't forget to give your siblings the gift I brought before I come back, It is as direct as that...You would definitely do it too, if you love and trust your Father.

I really love this Donut Hole video we had as kids, I had the urge to see it recently and I googled it up, and Voila! Unknowingly it did teach me alot, plus we had good times acting out most of the scenes. Brings some tears to my eyes...we'd put a doll in a basket,tie ropes, stand upstairs and lower the basket down just like they did. Good times, I say!

Watching it again, it presses further the importance of Sharing the 'Good News', How barriers are broken down through Jesus. How EVERYBODY regardless of race, colour, gender, sexuality and all the barriers that man loves to put up is important, equal and above all Loved by God. All you have to do is to trust God and yes, that's the message of the Bible, 'I LOVE YOU, TRUST ME' God tells us. Why shouldn't I share this truth with people? infact it would be irrational not to tell everyone. Gonna share it all! because everyone without God is like a Donut with a hole right there in the middle.

Enjoy the Videos! Happy Children's Day!

Books that must be read Pt 2

This is filled with so much revelation, you will be wondering why you never read it earlier!

please pick up a copy while you can. I only just started reading it and I don't want it to end.

John Stott used to be a leader under a number of posts at the church I currently attend. I didn't even know this until I googled reviews for the book. Awesome! this man is what we call a teacher. This book is one every Christian needs to read with immediate effect. I am still reading it also, it is profound. 

With Gratitude, Painful Tears

                                          Picture: http://www.larryponchobrown.com

I used to be very proud of the fact that I didn't cry often, despite being flogged or insulted. I thought I had it pretty set, there were only things when i'd cry that I never planned. Recently as God has been breaking me down, I have been shedding tears for 'no reason' and very often, daily. I also realized that I could tell the difference between my fake tears and real tears, funny eh. Of course everyone really knows when they are shedding crocodile tears or not. No. When you peel onions you will cry automatically though (the red onions more so than the white, put a spoon in your mouth to stop it ). 

When I cry genuinely, my eyes HURT, I don't know why, but since I have no control over these tears, It happens. I tried to google, to find if it was some condition, I can't even explain how it hurts, but it makes me never want to shed a tear again. Still, I am grateful for the ability to cry, I'm thankful that I am being broken down in many ways than I could imagine. I'm learning loads and I wouldn't have it any other way. If it has to hurt, so be it.

''I know that I've been,

Given more than beyond measure,

I come alive when,

I see beyond my fears

I know that I've been given more than earthly treasure,

I come alive when

I've broken down and given you control''

- Jeremy Camp ~ Beyond Measure

How to Expose Fake Prophets

The other day, A TV programme showed how fake pastors extract monies from people and conduct fake healing sessions, its a sad thing but its not out of this world. I think nothing new was exposed on the programme and it was just a waste of time, energy and effort, it was quite boring. The bible has exact predictions on what these people are, Vicious Wolves!  it calls them. If only those who claim to be Christians would read the bible more or actually desire a stronger relationship with God would we be able to discern EASILY this fakeness. ''Only by being thoroughly familiar with the truth will we be able to recognize a counterfeit.''

• 2 Peter 2 talks specifically about these false preachers.
• 2 Corinthians 11
• Colossians 2 Warns about thinking to Christ! not Man and Man's rules
• Hebrews 13
• 2 Timothy 4:1 - 4
• Matthew 7 : 15 - 23

I particularly like this article, because we have a responsibility to protect ourselves and others from the tactics of these wicked people

So, how do we protect ourselves?

• Don't Believe Anyone Who Ignores, Or Disagrees With, God's Word

About 30 years ago, I recall hearing a preacher bellowing, "Don't believe me, believe your Bible." The honest logic of that man's statement cannot be refuted or argued with. Humans can be, or go, wrong. God's Word will never fail you, because God will never fail you.
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away." (Luke 21:33)

• Prove All Things

Never just take someone's word as "gospel," regardless of how educated or exalted they may be, or appear to be. True Christian servants ("minister" means servant, "apostle" means messenger, "evangelist" means announcer) are not offended if you check to see if what they say is correct, or question them if you find something that you think is wrong. In fact, they expect you to do so:
"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world." (1 John 4:1 RSV)
"test everything; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21 RSV)

• Know Your Bible

Familiarity with the Scriptures, all of the Scriptures, is a vital defense. Amazing as it may seem, many Christian-professing people actually have not read all of The Bible at least one time. Once each year should be the minimum for everyone.
Daily Bible Study has an easy and enjoyable daily Bible reading plan, requiring only a few minutes each day, that covers the entire Bible in 1 year. See 1 Year Reading Plan

• Follow Christ, Obey God

God's true servants want you to obey God, not them. Follow them only if they follow Christ.
"For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps." (1 Peter 2:21 RSV)
"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ ... and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3 RSV)

• Beware Of "Miracles"

While in the end time God's true prophets will perform great miracles (see The Two Witnesses and Down Without A Fight?), there will also be great Satan-empowered "miracles" which will deceive many:
"It works great signs, even making fire come down from heaven to earth in the sight of men; and by the signs which it is allowed to work in the presence of the beast, it deceives those who dwell on earth, bidding them make an image for the beast which was wounded by the sword and yet lived" (Revelation 13:13-14 RSV)

• "Prophet" Doesn't Mean "Profit"

Money is of course necessary to pay for living and operating expenses, but acquiring great personal wealth from one's service to God cannot be justified. There are many honest and righteous ways of earning a lot of money. Christianity is not one of them.
In the Old Testament, Abraham was considered righteous by God (Galatians 3:6), and at the same time he became very wealthy (Genesis 13:2). But his personal wealth came from business activity. It wasn't given to Abraham as a way of worshipping God.
Later, the apostle Paul, a man who actually wrote a large part of the New Testament, although having to accept occasion help because of his difficult circumstances, worked whenever he could, as a tent maker, at the same time of his ministry (Acts 18:3).
According to Paul, "For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word; but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ." (2 Corinthians 2:17 RSV)
God's true servants are not interested in taking from you. They want to give to you, not worldly money that is quickly spent, but true wealth, the knowledge and understanding that will enable you to obtain the eternal spiritual riches that will last forever. God's true servants don't want your money. They want you to obey God.

Come Dine With Me

The past few months have seen me spend a lot of time in the Kitchen, omg! I can't believe it you know..that I'm actually beginning to like cooking, and just the domestic way of life. Yesterday I even baked scones! Having people enjoy what I cook and appreciate it really spurs me on. Personally, ofcourse there's been a change inside deeper than just what people see. I still find it difficult to just up and go cook something for myself, but when other people's lives are at stake, I take it up with immediate effect! I used to yearn for the fast-paced life of an exec. But as I've begun to learn more about healthy feeding and live in general, it makes me want to become a housewife! I swear, me? yes me!. Sometimes I just picture myself in a farm house, homeschooling my children, cooking in a big kitchen, feeding my family and just living a content life (definitely not in the eyes of the world) filled with warmth and love.

It's no surprise that I also began to love the TV programme, Come Dine With Me. Cooking shows always used to bore me. But this one, is just plain brilliant. I spend hours watching re-runs, but its interesting to see how much many people can still cook and the pleasure many derive in putting out a good meal and for strangers too, its always heart warming when at the end of the programme the contestants still want to keep in touch..see what food can do! lol.

Jesus also calls us to Come dine with Him. He has filled the cup at the table with fresh wine, we can now partake in it as brothers and sisters. It's a simple call, Come to the table or stay were ever you are. We have the ability to respond as we see fit. But if I can go to dinner with abandon to enjoy foods which I enjoy and which replenish me temporarily, why not go to the dinner where I will enjoy foods which give life forever? Its a no brainer I've made my choice!

So, as you come dine with me, I hope you would also dine with Jesus at the table...........Enjoy!!!!

Many Things in Life are Hard For Me

One thing I forgot to write in my post about Christian music, which I only realized is, how it helps take my eyes off me. I have been on a Kutless spree for the past two days. It was when I was listening to Grace and Love from their Kutless album that it just 'clicked'. This is not about feelings. Many times I don't feel like doing anything that looks remotely 'Christian' but there is this quiet yearning inside that leads me back to what I should be doing. Grace, I read recently is Love to the unresponsive. Most times as Human beings, we have to have people respond to our 'Love' if not we carry our Love and go somewhere else, but the ability to love people that can't even respond..that is outstanding. That God loves me through my rages, through my jealousy, through my laziness, through my corruption, It is amazing!

Kutless - Grace and Love

Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
I don't understand why I do what I do 
How could I take my eyes off you 
After all You've done for me 
And after all You've done for me 

It's by Your grace and love I am saved 
It's by Your grace and love You've forgiven me, hey 
And by that love and grace, I'm amazed 
It's by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free 

And it's by grace and love that I am free 
I'll live with you eternally 
I thank you Lord that I am free 
I thank you Lord for loving me 
I thank you Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary 
I thank you Lord for loving me 
I thank you Lord for dying for me 

Because it's by grace and love I am saved 
It's by Your grace and love You've forgiven me, hey 
And by that love and grace, I'm amazed 
It's by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free 

Many things in life are hard for me 
But by grace and love You've forgiven me 
And by grace and love we are free