Praise the Lord.

On that day, when evening had come, He told them, “Let’s cross over to the other side of the sea.” So they left the crowd and took Him along since He was already in the boat. And other boats were with Him. 

 A fierce windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking over the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But He was in the stern, sleeping on the cushion. So they woke Him up and said to Him, “Teacher! Don’t You care that we’re going to die?” 

He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Silence! Be still!” The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. Then He said to them, “Why are you fearful? Do you still have no faith?” 

And they were terrified and asked one another, “Who then is this? Even the wind and the sea obey Him"

The study was on Mark, never really studied it before and looked forward to learning new perspectives.

So it was important to finally get what Jesus said in Mark 4:35 "Let's cross over to the other side of the sea"  If Jesus says this why would it matter if there was a raging storm?

I have never really minded storms of life, I accepted them since I was a kid, however there was something I've always craved, my own person.

I always wanted a person who was closest to me and was with me through thick and thin, and I with them.
Kept searching, looking for this person in women ((not romantic), in men (friend then romantic) online, offline.

At least 20yrs went by and it wasn't until my recent storms I realised I didn't have to search anymore, Jesus is with me always. He is the friend who is always there through thick and thin. Humans are not guaranteed to be and we must not throw this weight of expectation on people.

Even though it feels lonely daily to not have an 'everyday friend' I know feelings aren't truth, the truth is God is with me always.

I also learn to appreciate the gifts from others when they come, I learn to give of what I've been given, share the love I've been so lavished with and still pray in faith for God's good gifts in form of friends and a life partner, trusting that God gives as God sees fit.

I'm so grateful that we have the Lord almighty with us in storms and in calm, always.

Praise the Lord!

Age of Chill

Wise. That was my reply when my friend asked me how I felt entering a new decade. She laughed. I laughed, but I did feel that way. I felt I had been given a second chance to live a better way, the way of love. And as a late bloomer I welcome it.

Gratitude. I've had an overwhelming sense of gratitude, which has helped me look to the future and combat a downward spiral into anxiety and depression. The past 4 months have been the darkest, most painful ever and the clouds linger but I know love and time soothes all for those who want to be.

Chill. I feel like, what's the stress man? life is too short for pettiness. Remember to go where love is, laugh alot, don't take myself too seriously, smile easily. This is how I have determined to live in this age, so help me God.

The Measure of a Man

I stumbled upon a playlist sometime in early May on Youtube and I've been hooked since then. I had no idea how much it was going to affect and influence my life over the weeks to come. I had no idea how my life was going to radically change.

First, it was the promise of true love and then, the death of it, followed by the realization of a love that never ends..

Emotional, turbulent are not enough to describe the past few months. *phew* the tears still threaten to fall. Weariness that comes from the innards, where no amount of resting will salve still washes over me. Yet, I am grateful, what madness is this?

One of the songs on the playlist, which is from Forerunner Music is called "Measure of a man" by Misty Edwards the lyrics go like this

The measure of a man is the measure of his heart
The measure of a man is the measure of his love

You don't measure me like man may see
You're looking at my heart, the core of me
Your eyes of fire see differently
Keep me in the gaze of love

The measure of a man is the measure of his heart
The measure of a man is the measure of his love

When it's all been said, when it's all been done
When the race is run, well it all comes down to love

Did you learn to love? That's what You will ask of me
Did you learn to love? Not about my ministry
Did you learn to love? Not about my money
Did you learn to love? Did you learn to love?

These were the questions I had to ponder after facing the biting reality of a heart that will no longer beat. What is life really all about? Alcohol? What is love in the midst of all this? What am I to do? What is the important thing?

Love. 

Stark and raw, not like the world gives.

Loved first so now we can love truly.

Yes, I am so grateful. A gratitude that moves me to tears though it's the first time I see my brain actively try to block memories.
oh what change, the look ahead on entering a new decade, what does it feel like? how have I changed? Wiser? What have I achieved? more questions to ponder. 
No matter what, the answer remains.

Love.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails.

The Only Thing Love Regrets

Is not showing more love...

This has been the clearest thing to me and biggest learning of my year so far. I look into myself and see how much God has changed me, some may put it down to maturity, we might be able to fool others, but we can't fool ourselves. I look at some of the things I used to write just a few years back, I laugh, I shake my head, I thank God I'm not the same person.

Now, I see the folly of many of my ways, I see that there was absolutely no need to behave the way I did many times. Real love does not regret loving someone even if they turn out a fool, real love puts in the best and does not regret it. Many times I hesitate because I sense something negative from the person, so what? We as Christians have been called to partake in real love, love that has power to change things for good. Not only are we called, we have been empowered to walk that way. So what have I been waiting for?
Jesus Christ gave us a fantastic portrayal of what real love is about, laying one's life down for friends, even before they become friends... Love is a present and is present, it's not something that has an end, if it does, it wasn't love. Love is personal but not performance based. Love should be said but must be shown.
There so many things I look back that I would do differently in my relationships, my relationships with family, friends, love interests and even strangers. The only thing that hurts me is I had an opportunity to love and I didn't do it. *I'm literally in tears as I write this* I repent of all the times I have not loved as I should have.
I'm grateful that today is another day, another opportunity to love truly. I know certain things go against my personality, but I'm operating under a new identity.  My feelings take me the opposite way many time, but love transcends feelings because it's focus is the good of the other. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I know God answers prayers.

-------------------------
Essential Reading

Bible.
Kierkegaard's Works of Love.

What does John 15 really tell us

I must have read this passage a hundred times. The imagery is clearly very interesting but it only clicked recently after having a chat about this passage and what it really means. When we read a book one must always read within context, so who exactly was Jesus talking to in John 15 and why, let's delve in.

It really starts from John 13. Jesus was talking to his disciples at the 'Last Supper' These disciples were Jews. We tend to forget that most of Jesus message was aimed at the Jews. The imagery of the vine is one that Jews who read the scriptures would have been familiar with (Isaiah 5, Ezekiel 15). Also, Judas Iscariot left the meeting to carry out his plan. So this message was very important in the light of everything happening..

 “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. 3 You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.5 “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. 6 Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. 7 But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! 8 When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.

Jesus was telling his disciples that He was the The True Vine, in contrast to the useless vine which Israel became. Jesus states that He is the source of life, and anyone who doesn't stay/dwell in him, won't have life, won't have the Holy Spirit, therefore cannot bear fruit. If the Jews who already know about God, know about the Messiah don't stay in the truth and come to believe in Jesus they certainly have no part in the vine. Judas was a stark example, he looked like a disciple, he talked like a disciple but he wasn't really connected to the vine! and these people will be exposed at the end of the day
Jesus goes further to make it clearer.

“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other

We need to ask ourselves as Christians, what do we really believe? why are we Christian? If we are Christian for any other reason than, believing in, trusting the finished work of Jesus Christ, the Gospel, we need to repent and connect to the true vine. Looking like a Christian, walking like a Christian and talking like a Christian will get us no where.
Only those who are trusting in Jesus for life (John 3:16) are truly connected to the vine and they now have the power through the Holy Spirit to love truly.

With Friends like This...

Me & Ham (2008)

You have hammered.

Sometimes it takes a bit of retrospection (casting of the eyes backward contemplatively ) to truly appreciate what you've had or the journey you have been on. I don't have many words to describe how grateful and thankful I am for this girl. I never knew that, at the moment we took the picture above in school that we would still be friends now, 5years after but time doth fly.

Ham wrote an amazing post about our journey HERE one I really can't compose. Read and appreciate, don't just see it as a story of both of us, but see it as an example of what loyalty and friendship means.

Love always to Ham.

Circus Kids

The Clown.

He made them giggle, loudly too. I'd never thought the sound of 50+ children, laughing, could be so beautiful. They were with family, and they seemed to be having a great time as well. Then something struck me...

Children.

Do we, should we all want them? We all were once, for some people it's actually hard to believe they were that tiny (pics or it didn't happen). I struggle with my thoughts around having children. I've always thought I'd love to do a Jolie-Pitt but there are so many things I'm scared of, things I'm not convinced of. Research says children do not make you happier i.e you don't have kids so you can be happy because it will go the opposite way, fast. So why then?

While sat in the Circus with the sound of laughter rising above the smell of animal urine, I began to understand a reason why. God didn't create us to make God happier, we were created to delight in this happy God, to share God's joy and bask in God's love, such delight. It's a huge responsibility but seeing all those families glowing made me want to share my love, share my joy. I was glad to have my sister with me, we had a jolly time.

The Ugly Truth

I'd been thinking of getting my teeth fixed, so I went for a free consultation to check out what could be done and at what cost. At the end of the consult, the doctor told me 'I hope I didn't make you feel bad' why? I had only gone to check my teeth and then I was told I had a facial deformity. I had suspected this before and naturally began to feel sorry for myself, but even much more, it made me begin to think about beauty and ugliness in a new way.

People like the platitude that goes 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder' however there are beauties and uglies that lie in the eyes of ALL beholders. This has nothing to do with certain races or certain features on a body or face. It is all about genetics; bone structure, cultural elements and mechanical incidents.

My worldview begins with God creating the world and sin corrupting creation. In light of this, it makes a lot of sense, when I consider that sin actually makes us ugly, both inside and outside. God's love and grace heals both in His time. God saves the spirit which is twisted, ugly and only tending to death and will allow this corrupted body to die, allowing us to be raised in new bodies.God also saves the corrupted body, through miraculous healings and the intelligence of Doctors to correct some of these conditions.

From my consultation and further research I made, even if you don't share my worldview, it is easy to see that the people we would choose as being ugly or not very fine, perhaps plain, would have one deformity or the other. These deformities are usually passed down by genetic accident, e.g I inherited my dad's deformity but my other sisters didn't) Some obviously are caused by mechanical injury, blows, fire, car accidents e.t.c.

Understanding all of this, makes me see ugliness/beauty in a new light. None of us chose our faces or bodies when we were born. Most of us did not choose to be in accidents that deform us neither to be born into cultures which do so. Therefore it begs us to be kind to one another. It certainly would not get rid of the ugliness but it will stop you from being ugly. It's not about looking beyond the ugliness, which you can't but welcoming it knowing that in the end, age and time will deal with us all accordingly.

As someone who believes in Christ, It makes me hate sin much more, it makes me long for an incorruptible world, one which we have been promised. The most wonderful thing is despite all these imperfections, we are still the same in value, we call some of these imperfections quirks, and people even love us for these particular flaws. This is what you get with a GOOD, Wonderfully and Fearfully made product :)

Quick Questions

Will you correct your deformity?

The Doctor told me I would have to lose about 8 of my teeth and then break my bones to fuse things together properly. OMG. I don't think I'm going to risk this especially in the light of what I know. Many have done it and the change is really remarkable, but there is no guarantee I would like my new face, no matter how fine it is :)

How do I acknowledge ugliness

Humans know right from wrong. We will always naturally gravitate to what gives us the most pleasure, be it in what we see, hear, taste. One thing I try to keep at the back of my mind is, 'we did not create our looks' It could have been anyone. If health is being affected, then encourage them to get these conditions corrected. Also, never forget that beauty on the inside is much more sustaining and attractive in the long run. 

On Abortion

Life is not black and white. People make mistakes. We choose bad paths sometimes. Hope comes when we admit where we have done wrong but like Don Colacho says which I strongly agree with...

 "Modern stupidities are more irritating than ancient stupidities because their proselytes seek to justify them in the name of reason."

 "The arguments with which we justify our conduct are often dumber than our actual conduct."

The argument of pro-abortion on the status of the child in the stomach is totally absurd. For a person to say that the child growing in their womb is not a human being is one of the most stupid things my brain has ever encountered. So far history has told us of how people are usually dehumanized (Cross-Atlantic Slave Trade, Holocaust e.t.c) so that a mass for people can justify treating human beings anyhow or killing them without remorse and yet this seems to have come full circle again. These are sad times for the people of earth.

"If abortion means anything, it is that human life is of great significance. You merely acknowledge "potential life."

A question I ask myself is why people fall into such situations, there are many understandable scenarios but where a woman has access to the coil, contraceptives, govt support e.t.c where is the excuse? I may have an abortion tomorrow because I don't know what tomorrow brings, but heaven knows, I would  have lost a part of me.

"If women call kill their unborn children with no remorse, who is safe?"

On Sex

I feel very privileged to be able to have a lot of time to think about certain issues and form my own life path from them. they are not static views, sometimes they change.

My thoughts on sex have changed quite a bit however there are some elements that do not change. So I was having a chat with someone and the person goes. "I don't do no sex until marriage, who does that in 2013" my first thoughts were it hasn't been more necessary than now to not have sex untill marriage. My aunt works in the HIV/AIDs unit of a London Hospital, and it moves her to tears daily. Still, I digress. I told the person 'Me' 'I do that in 2013' and of course the sneer of 'Clap for yourself' 'You should be a pastor' came out as expected. Then I gave my viewpoints on the matter.

I think sex is absolutely serious, it is important, something that can create LIFE??? c'mon, let's think about it a minute. I have no doubt that sex can be amazing, but that is the thing about life, the thing capable of giving the most pleasure is capable to giving the most pain as well. Sex is not to be played with. I think sex is underrated in the way it can completely change/disrupt a person's life and also it's ability to bond people STRONGLY especially if the perceived outcome was 'Good' or 'Great' sex. I was specifically thinking of my male friends, though married who admitted that their best sex partners were not the women they were married to and if they were to met those other women privately, they can't promise that they wouldn't have sex with them again. Sex can also make you hate a person or yourself deeply especially if it's been a 'bad/terrible' experience.

Again, as someone who is particularly strong-willed, I have tried to consider these things in my own life. I have made some sexual mistakes as well but the real problem of sex is not sex itself but the monster that it can grow into when people refuse to think about their actions. Sex is then overrated and becomes a god because people come to a point where they MUST get it.

Not having sex doesn't kill, doesn't make one less attractive, less intelligent, less whatever it is that is important to their identity. In fact it is likely to rob one of these things when it goes wrong.

So far for me, there is no tangible benefit to having sex except it being a love/bonding exercise with the guy I am committed to loving and respecting. And when a new life is created what's better than having a life come into a world with two loving parents?

We are in this life of course. Mistakes happen, hearts are broken. We don't want to look back at the pain we've been through. Reality.

However it is far far better to aspire to the best than to mistakes.

Broken Things

I am a hoarder. There, I said it. Looking at my bathroom vanity it is evident. I bet the nice housekeeper who comes in every Wednesday to clean thinks it too. I find its way more than that though, lots of the things I keep are in fact broken and should have made their way to the dustbin but somewhere in my mind, i keep convincing myself I can fix them. 

In the past few years I realize that this applies to people in many ways. I'm attracted to the broken, people who are in need of help, somewhere inside me begs to have them whole again. I genuinely love to help people, but sometimes I forget that many aren't really seeking help or help from me. It's a bit upside down because I am usually the last person to ask for help. I feel blessed with my lot and I don't like to think of bothering someone else for what I want. My motto in this context has been, If I don't have it, I don't need it, even though I want it, and that is fine. I tell you, it may read nice, but it can also be quite dangerous, because sometimes we don't know what we really need or if we have it.

I looked at the broken nail file for an extra second and I thought, No I can't fix this, it tumbled into the dustbin quite nicely and I felt much better.

Panic Room

Dear K,

How are you doing. I am sure you are in pain just as I am. Whitney Houston..unbelievable. I was still awake when I saw the news stream through my twitter feed. I had to double check my brain, there is no one else with that same name that I knew. Devastating. What's even worse is you can't begin to imagine what the family is going through. 

All what I was going to write to you about seems so insignificant now. Let's talk about life and what's more important. Last week, I've been having some issues and I did go see the doctor, currently expecting results. And then on Sunday, after managing to get some sleep after seeing the sad news, I woke up with a massive headache. It seemed like my brain had turned to stone, just awful. I still managed to get down to church, had a chat with a number of people, then headed to my Uncle's house for his birthday. The atmosphere in this house is always really warm and cosy but for some reason I was still as cold as ice. My headache was getting worse and my temperature started climbing. It was while I was lying in bed later, medicated, after having a panic attack, that I could see how the day came together.

My landlady and family traveled Sunday Morning. The trains were not running from my station and I wanted to go to church, normally I wouldn't have gone. Then it being my Uncles birthday meant I had to go to their house plus my sister was flying in otherwise I wouldn't have gone out.

Now, What if I had to be home alone, with everything coming down on me. I would have had to go to A & E and only God knows what would have happened to me. 

Whitney's issue, My issue, once again solidifying the fact that we humans are NOT meant to be alone. We can have our privacy but to be alone, is just not right.

I got lots of help yesterday and I am just so glad to have such people around me. My sister and I talked around my thing with our mum. I really can't pinpoint why our relationship is so strained, but I will definitely put more effort into keeping in touch, my sister says she will be around sometime soon, I think that'd be wonderful.

I hope you are doing great. I just want you to know that I will always be there for you, as much as my capabilities can go.

Yours Always,

E.

Why You Must Have a Healthy Lifestyle

Well, you musn't. This is exactly what I feel when people ask me why they had to eat 'healthy' Nothing is a must. Make your choice, if it is too much for you, leave it alone. We will all die anyway? huh. There's no need to shelf responsibility unto another. Man is such a paradox, He doesn't want to die, but 90% of the things he does, guarantees, a death sooner than later. We try to avoid death in numerous ways, but when it comes to actually living a healthy way, especially in the area of what we eat, people want to have their cake and eat it, They want to live but want to eat a grossly unbalanced diet. They want to live long, to be smart, to be able to control their emotions, but will never give up their constant cup of coffee. 'Why must I??' No you mustn't, you mustn't do anything.

The Simple Girl

An uncle, once said to me, ''I've never seen anyone as simple as you, if someone takes something from you, you will just get another one''. I laughed and said people just need to let go. I wasn't always 'simple' I had to learn and I'm still learning. And in my learning, I found a peace that is beyond my understanding. Thats where I find succour, its sustaining and everlasting. I have let go..the world is depressing enough, we all need an escape, death or something else. I have found my escape which makes living simple for me, not perfect, just simple. 

P.S: I still want to live on a farm.lol

In the middle of unknowns

This is where I am ----------------> x \O/ y

x = unknown

y = unknown

How do I solve this equation?

I really don't know what to think, but I don't like being in the midst of things completely beyond my control. I have to wait, wait, wait.

I lost my Library card, so I can't even go there until I get this *application* sent in. That really bothers me. But I'm glad about a lot of things happening. I see my career path clearer now, plus my sister has finally gone to school, yippe yay! I should be visiting her in a bit. My PP's will officially start for the year, this weekend. I've done enough lazying about, holidays are over.

I really have to remember to 'Write good deeds on stone, and bad ones on water' So easy to do the opposite.

Still, I can't believe what I was going crazy over, over there is now happening to me.... Aah well, moving on with life. I've rediscovered my favorite tunes, but my computer is giving me all shades of frustration and is leading me unto the path of destruction, my head is done in! Can't wait to get a new one >.<

1111

I wanted to write something really profound about New Year celebrations, maybe I still would but for now, I will recommend two books that touched me life so far. You don't have to be religious or a Christian to read them, they just deserve an open mind. They aren't exhaustive but do paint a great picture. Enjoy.

The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus by John R. Cross

Why Trust The Bible by Amy Orr-Ewing

Don't Ignore the Living

This morning, one of my friends, tweeted that she was watching My Girl, remember the movie? It brought tears in my mind, and the replay of a particular scene that never left my head for over 15yrs. I told her, I'd cry loads if I tried to watch, but deep down I knew I would look for it and watch it. I've been crying loads since. It just hurts it really does, especially someone like me, always quick to put myself in other people's shoes. It's heart breaking..losing someone so close. But Jamie Lee said something I didnt remember as a child, 'Don''t ignore the living' It's hard to remove our minds, from those who are gone, but nothing we do can bring them back. We should focus more on life and those who are living. 

Another aspect of the movie that brought tears to my eyes, was the love shared between friends at such a young age, there was no guile, oh how we long for that now. Its such a thing as heartbreaking as death, here you only have people with ulterior motives (for the most part) around you. When Jesus said we had to become like children, he wasn't talking for fun. We think we know so much as adults and our minds and heart tend to get clouded and hardened. Kids show the purest form of love you can get. I have to live with this reality and acknowledge those I hold dear and hold them dearer, living life. 

     With this I say Happy Birthday to my Friend, Tosin ^_^ hip hip hooray

Where Do we go from here...

I started writing this note last Saturday..but I just could not find the words i really needed, but I will try.

I woke up friday morning thinking, Sometimes we forget people on the internet are real too. The past two days I found out one of those i met on an online forum, NL had deleted me off his facebook friendlist. Someone would think, 'It's only facebook' perhaps, but I didn't think he was just a casual acquaintance. Others have deleted me and I didn't even think twice about it. 

Anyway I was advised to ask him why, personally I thought, yeah..just to know where I stand. I did, and He says ' I didn't think you'd notice or give a fiddler's fart if you did. It's nothing personal. I removed a lotta people who were acquaintances and I rarely communicate with' I honestly can't tell where we got to this point. There are people i don't speak to in months, but when we talk its always a good thing. I was glad I knew, atleast, where I stood with him. And me, being me, I always think about most events of my life quite deeply.

I tweeted then 'The day that an ex-friend explains why he deleted you from his FB friendlist is the same day an old friend tells how much he misses you #life' That was exactly what happened. Someone i had worked with during NYSC and hadnt spoken to, up to five times after told me he that, I really appreciated it.

Some hours later, I heard that a guy I had had some banter with on NL, same forum..had died. This would have been the 1st of December or 30th Novmber my time when he was shot. I immediately felt cold after the whole thing managed to compute. I looked at all the news sources and what not, I just couldn't believe it. This person wasn't even my friend, I had interacted with him once or twice but I felt a sense of loss. 

He last posted on the 29th of November on the forum. The circumstances around his death, completely devastating,I can't imagine what the family are going through. It took me back to; http://teanni.blogspot.com/2010/02/tgiftomorrow.html

Sometimes we think people on here will forever be at a computer, only dying of natural causes, old age, hunger or electric shock. Perhaps..Rapture (as some school of thoughts think it) It's so easy to divide offline/online..but both are as real as each other.
Lots have been said but I couldn't change what I felt, the image replaying constantly in my head, only to wake up on Saturday and hear another terrible thing from Nigeria, I had nightmares..i couldn't sleep, I cried. But we move on.


Tuesday, was my graduation and I have had to ask myself what next? One of the graduants didn't even live to see the day... I appreciated every moment of it. What my family had done, what i'd done..I hold these memories in my heart. I'm at a point where I have to make solid decisions on how I want to move forward. They will not be popular ones, I know myself..But for the sake of my sanity and quality of Life I want for my self I must make them. I just want to take a deep breath and learn from every experience that I've been or I'm going through...One thing I always have at the back of my head though is that, Change is inevitable..the snow will not always fall, even in Caledonia..

Why is Death something sad?

I remember on an online forum PC, someone asked, Why is Death something sad? And the person said, personally they don't feel sad especially if it was a painless death*  This was my first post

Its either the thread-starter doesn't know the meaning of sadness or I am . Losing 20p is sad enough, talk more a whole human being. I've never had anyone close to me who died a simple nice death, so i obviously cannot grasp what this person is talking about.I have been sad, even now, i still sigh, when i think of what they may have become (the young ones esp). I don't feel sad because i would miss their company, I feel sad mostly cause of the dreams they had, that someone or something snatched away from them. Death in itself is nothing, my uncle was saying the other day, Death is one of the closest thing to each and everyone of us. If one was to live in such fear, you'd die just thinking of it

Many posters, echoed the same feeling, that Death was something to feel sad about..that is..those who are still living, The dead person cannot feel what we feel. For me, it's the finality of it - the thought that I will never, ever see them again. Someone says which i totally agree with. Its the most final thing, that's sad enough.

and my last post was

He wasn't my friend but I feel a great deal of sadness. Sometimes I read these things in the papers, I get sad because people just die anyhow. But actually haven interacted with the persons seems to make it worse, somehow you wish you didn't even know them at all. Its easy to forget people even on online forums are actual real people like you, they die and you'll never ever ever see their words again. Thinking of their family.....ah *sigh*

The finality of it, Is indeed very sad.

Death will always be something sad for different reasons to many people. But do we allow it to eat us up? I think not. We owe it to those alive to live in the best way possible. Death is not something that will only happen to some people, It is a sure thing for everyone alive now 'You live to die another day', so while you still have your breath, LIVE. Life is Now.

Books that must be Read pt.1

There are two books, you must read before this year runs out, very influential, for me. I would write summaries when I have the time.These books are the thinking man's kind of books. If you don't want to think please don't bother picking them up, go to your local bookstore and search for Nora Roberts, or something like that

Mere Christianity by C.S.Lewis

Fela: This Bitch of a Life by Carlos Moore