Not Alone

You never feel more alone than when facing the passing of a very dear one. Even the closest people cannot come close enough. They can't sit with you deep inside your mind, your heart, to have a feel of that heavy weight of sadness, to breathe the thoughts and experiences that become solid as rock.

More piercing is when you are abandoned at the moment of deepest need by family, friends... I can't begin to imagine what Jesus felt when he faced his own loss, and everyone abandoned him. At that moment on the cross, he even felt God had abandoned him.

Yet, not alone.

How could we be? Did we create we? Can the clay say it is alone, when the thumbprints of the moulder resides everywhere and in it's innermost parts?

No, we are not alone. Jesus was not...even if he felt like that his final words were “Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!” Luke 23:46.  Those are the words of someone who knew they are not alone. 

Yes, the flesh constantly cries out, "I'm abandoned, woe is me!" but the truth speaks louder, I am with you always Matt 28:20. The Psalmist acknowledges this in Psalm 139. From the moment we took our first breath till we return to the one who gave us privilege to walk this earth as humans.

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand" Isaiah 41:10

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deut 31:6

Therefore, the truth of God's words are lovely and comforting because it assures us that no matter what God calls us to do or what God permits to happen in our lives, God will be there with us. God will never leave or forsake us.

On Marriage

I have written about marriage a number of times, 

Excerpts from TD Jake's book, which I still agree with, Marriage made me catch cold. Facebook said my wedding would be June of this year, well it's September and I'm still unmarried, in your face Facebook! My uncle said I would marry a Yoruba guy, which made me really laugh, he just might be right. I still stand by this post, No one should be getting married just to have offspring Funny enough, that same friend, wanted to date me this year, naaa. 

I started a series called the Mrs Club, you can read part 1, part 2, part 3. I still don't get proposals and My husband can come from anywhere, yes, even the internet! 

But! I must revisit the subject for some reasons. I admit, I have an aversion for the matter, I do not like to see people (some) get married, mainly because they don't seem to understand what they are doing. I do get a sick sense of satisfaction when I see some get divorced, It's almost like me saying 'I told you!'

Anyway, even in that I asked God to help me see it in a different light, why? because God created humans and created marriage. "For this reason.." That's the only way I was going to drop my selfish and stubborn approach.

Something dawned on me today when I talked to a colleague who just got married. She had been already been living together with her husband, they had a house, joint accounts and properties for the past 7 years. I asked her if she felt different and you could see the joy in her face. She said she had no idea she would be 'happier' even though, after the registry and intimate celebration with friends they went back to their normal routine. There was no reason for her to be happy, nothing had changed, she didn't gain any thing. 

Yes, I realized that the reason for her joy was the simple fact that God ordained marriage. Now, moving on to the other things that became clear to me. This is all gonna get spiritual up in here!

1. The Root (The proposal)

The bible makes it clear that our salvation depends on God alone. We depend on God. We are just to accept the gift but we can't do anything to make God love us more or less neither can we do anything to turn us holy or holier, grace is freely given. 

Marriage is a shadow of salvation, Paul talks to Husbands and Wives in Eph 5:22-33 and in 32, talks about the root and the whole point. Christ and us the Church. Marriage for us should be such that when we accept our groom's proposal, nothing should be able to come between us. The Groom should not love us less or more based on our behaviors, I know we are but humans... The Groom as the name implies should be helping us become a better person (vice versa on the human level) 

2.The Mark (The contract)We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit Eph 1:13,14. We have not just been proposed to, but a contract has been drawn up, and sealed. The bible makes a clear distinction between spouses and partners we just live with (See the Woman at the well) We are Christs's without a shadow of a doubt. People tend to respond very well to facts (A marriage certificate for example). This is where for me the importance of having a tangible marriage contract comes in, even though I still don't think it should be physical.  However at this point, we don't do things to make our groom love us more, instead we do things because of the love the groom has poured on us and overflows from us. How do you love?, you do the things your beloved asks you to do, If my husband, asked me to go to the registry court with him, I would go now with no argument. Another aspect is obeying the laws of the land, if the country you live in doesn't recognize a marriage without it being officially put down in the registry you shouldn't disobey, live by the laws of the land. 1 Peter 2:13-17.

3.The Fruits (The feast)

Now, for folks that are in Christ, you didn't accept Christ so you can bear fruits, you bear fruits only because Christ transforms you. You don't do good so that God can love you, You do good because God loves you. Same with marriage. In the bible, offspring are referred to as fruits and also the actions of the Spirit. So, you don't bear a child so you can be married neither do you go into a marriage so you can bear children. The love you have within your marriage should be the motivator for you to bear fruits, children. And even if you don't bear fruits that people see, it doesn't invalidate your salvation. The thief on the cross didn't have a chance to bear fruit but he was going to be in paradise with Christ. So people who do not have children are not less married. Children should be born out of love.

Wheew, that's as far as my thoughts have carried me, until next time.

Peace.