Nobody is Single.

Image: Bienenwabe

The first time I learnt about this story, The Lonely Death of Joyce Vincent ...some months back, I was moved to tears. I've always wanted to live alone, but with other people. I remember describing to someone, how if one lived alone, calling for help in an emergency may be impossible. I don't think humans are supposed to live alone. What bites me most about the story is that no one bothered to check for her, it hits close to home, but 3 years...astonishing. I wish we would realize how much strength we can find in reaching out to someone, and if we took more time outside of our own selves to reach out to people like this. 

I remember some weeks ago when I took a sick day off from work. I learnt about the death of El-rufai's daughter who is my agemate, and lived alone. I almost had a panic attack, I was so sad about it. I thought to myself, alone in my room. 'I don't want to end up like that'  Humans..we all need somebody.

This leads me to one thing that is true, Nobody is Single. Everyone has atleast one relationship with another person. And even if you can't pinpoint a specific relationship, think of your relationship with Humankind and Nature. A man-woman relationship or sexual relationship isn't the zenith of relationships, it is just ONE kind. People should not be made to feel less than they are because they are not  in that kind of relationship, some can EASILY do without this (e.g ME) with no sense of loss. 

Ofcourse 'society' will pander to what sells, Sex, Romance, this drives SALES, but is really a selfish concept and has made people think less of themselves. The individualistic philosophy of the Western world, where everyone screams ME, ME, ME has lead to this terrible, harmful mindset. We can do without this and is really the better way.

If you are alone in your house this season, stop thinking about yourself for one second and lamenting that you are 'single' There are many out there, who need someone to talk to. Call somebody, Go to your local shelter and volunteer, do something!

I hope it won't be too late for us to realize that all we have is each other.


Edit: If you can read> http://www.cascadance.com/why-neuroscience/
also, Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers..where he writes about the Rosetta Community, very interesting.

Blink!

'Snap Judgements' 'Impulse buys' 'First Impressions' We all know what these mean, decisions we take at the spur of the moment which are not premeditated or planned before hand. I call FALSE, and this is exactly what Malcolm Gladwell in his Blink! book points out. Snap judgments are not really made up there and then, they take time to build up, they are 'learned'. Even emotions, a hot tempered person wasn't born hot tempered. Actions and Decisions are complex, nothing really happens 'simply'

Yesterday I tried to explain the reasons I left Twitter to someone who asked why. I remember saying 'It wasn't like I planned it or anything, I was just tweeting and then I just stopped' When I put the phone down, I felt like I had just lied. While my decision at the time, appeared to be done, 'snaply' I had thought about leaving twitter, times without number, I had thought of the things that I couldn't reconcile with myself. Basically it had been a long time coming.

Another example, would be suicides which leave you with no explanations as to what must have happened. Gary Speed, everyone is saying 'oh he was so happy, this and that, the day began like every other day'. I don't think he was possessed or someone killed him, so what happened?. It may seem like a spur of the moment thing, but it really is just an outward manifestation of minutes, seconds, days of buildup in the mind.

Next time you think your decision or action 'just happened', blink, think again. I am sure that having this knowledge would help us give our actions a second over before we make them. It will also help us reduce the judgements we pass on others and frequency of bad decisions or actions. 

France, Bans and Scarves

So a friend of mine tweeted on a topic, I replied. It was on the French ban on veils which only show the eyes or don't even show the face at all. He said it was unfair and just plain intolerant. Fair enough I thought, I know what side many people will be arguing on. But being the person I am, I tried to get people to look at it from another angle. I honestly haven't read so much on the topic, but from the little I know, I can make my opinion reasonably.

1. France is a secular country

2. They would prefer to keep it that way

3. The ban wasn't targeted at Muslim women who wear veils that make up only 0.1% of the M.W pop.

4. France banned any form of religious display in 'public places'

I can't see why people have to over-react to be honest. If indeed only 0.1% of women wear this veil, it shows how easy the practice can be discarded or adjusted. It also makes us understand that being a Muslim isn't tied to those veils, if many more can go without it. It shows that it is a cultural not religious thing and for goodness sakes, they are in France. The country is trying to do the best for its citizens. The rate of discrimination based on religious affiliation is high enough, and the French government would rather not have people being judged by such a thing. 'Freedom of Expression is suppressed', some argue well smoking is banned in public places in many places, why isn't this challenged?  ok so Why am I using 'Smoking' 

1. It's the first thing that popped into my mind

2. It is also banned in public places in some countries

3. It is wonderful for people who smoke but unpleasant to those who do not

4. The ban in public places doesn't equal a ban in smoking at all.

I mean, why do we have to be so hard headed and stubborn sometimes. I'm not surprised the world is the way it is because we take offense so easily instead of stopping to think objectively. Everything is about us personally, our rights, our freedom, people being intolerant to us without seeing how we are also intolerant and the fact that we are no 'us' without others. I am positive this ban is not life-threatening to anyone, so therefore, let's see how it goes, I really hope the best decision is reached.

I am still Clay

A friend lost her mum today, just like that. She had a headache the night before, Sunday morning, no more. Time ceased to exist for her. It is a sad day, it hurts, watching someone suffer, hurts as much. Sometimes we just forget how fickle life is, here today, gone tomorrow. We forget that the important things in this life are given to us FREE. You didn't do anything to gain the breath you breath, you were born with blood moving all over your body. you never paid for that. 

We look at each other, and take ourselves for granted. O Human beings, why are we so blind, so corrupted by our foolish pride. We ought to look at eachother with reverence, hold each other like precious china, 'Handle with Care' 'Fragile'. Paul in his letter to the Christians at Philippi said, ' Work out your salvation with Fear and Trembling' Treat people with respect, with reverence, put your foolish pride aside, be responsible for others, we should be afraid to harm others.

Creation groans, we groan, I groan, there's so much pain in the world. Many times I forget this simple, little part I ought to play and I think of things on a grand-scale. A simple 'thank you' 'Sorry' 'Can I get a glass of water for you' are some of the things that matter the most.

All in all, I really do reflect on the way I've lived, I hold life more preciously than I've ever done in my entire life. With everything I want to achieve or that I see people achieve, events like this still remind me of certain truths. it doesn't matter what heights you reach and how low you go, we are all equal, we are all on the same level, We are all clay.

Back to the Future

I doubt I will ever understand the turning of clocks forward and backward, but hey life goes on! I made sure I stayed awake for the turn this time, I watched my computer's clock change from 12:59am to 2:00am. This actually made me laugh. We keep shouting no time, there's time, some time, time! time! time! When time is just a human construct that tries to measure the immeasurable. Someone said ''To realize the unimportance of time is the gate to wisdom.'' I believe it now.

''Time is always relative.... For the terminally ill, six months are a lifetime, and not a very long one. To a three-year-old waiting for Christmas, it's an eternity so distant it's not even worth thinking about''

JOHN SAUL, Midnight Voices

My CNN Days

I remember those days when we had just moved to the new Duplex, right in front of the hills. The area was still 'new' if you compared it to the rest of the city. We were surrounded by vegetation, my dad even carved a small garden out, Paw Paw trees, Orange and Guava ruled. Oh did I hate Paw Paw!, I still hate it. As young children, there wasn't much we could do in the area. Unlike the old quarters were we lived which had accessible hills, the ones here were close but unreachable. I had also just begun secondary school, I wanted to do new things.

We had a load of tapes of our favorite cartoons from way back, and we played them to the death. Soon, Cable was installed, but it wasn't stable. Some days all we had were news stations and some others which were straight from the Middle-East. Grudgingly, we had to watch CNN, Fox News, SKY, BBC back to back, if there was no tape or movie to see.

CNN was my favourite, it seemed to offer more of a variety of programmes, and I loved the way they spoke. I would pick up a newspaper and pretend to read like the newscasters, this was always a hit at school. I played with the idea of becoming one, fantasy! 

Summer Holidays, were the longest and I would come home straight from school, It typically lasted from about the end of June to the start of September. I usually resumed late, so make that the end of September!, two weeks less resumption never really hurt! lol. It was during this periods from '96 to '01 that I formed strong bonds with Christiana Amanpour, Wolf Blitzer, Fionnuala Sweeney, Jim Clancy, Terry Baddoo, Rosemary Church, Ralitsa Vassileva, jeff koinange, Femi Oke, Jonathan Mann, Larry King. I watched everything from World News to Sports, Entertainment and Technology programmes. I even memorized the schedule at some point.

I was glad to have CNN to watch, it kept me well informed amongst my peers, I'd always been one step ahead anyways. It was no coincidence that some of the events that shaped the world, I saw unravel first hand. 

Summer of '97 Princess Diana's death, We had played games till late but had to sleep because the next day was sunday, and we had to go to church. But for me, I couldn't sleep for a while so I got up and went to check what was on. 'Princess Diana, Car crashed!' Oh my days! I couldn't believe it as I saw the mangled car. Unbelievable!

'98 - '99 The next major event was Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky affair, which I followed closely. I will never forget Bill's speech 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' even I knew He was lying.

Summer of '99, JFK jr's plane went down. I had only watched them hours ago, and now the plane was missing. I had thought of how stylish Carolyn, his wife was. And what a nice couple they seemed to be. Sad.

Summer of '01 Aaliyah was dead! In a car crash and a day before my birthday, Who didn't know Aaliyah, wow! terrible. She was 22, I was going to be 15.

Summer/Fall of '01 9/11 as it is remembered, I was just changing channels, because it seemed like a slow news day, nothing was happening. Next thing I got to BBC and saw one of the WTC towers smoking, I was just thinking how unfortunate, the plane slamming into the tower, and it was Live with the cameras pointed on the building. Next thing I knew another plane just slams into the next, OH MY GOD the video man screamed and the video became shaky with people running towards and away from the building. I was doubly stunned. Oh my God! I thought is this a movie, is this real?? 

Soon after, a couple of things changed in the house, I was graduating from secondary school and getting into University the next year. I can't remember what happened to the cable, but it lost an appeal. Given the current events in the world, I found myself getting back into that frame of mind, until someone brings me back to reality with 'Let's watch something else o!' Despite all that, those days were filled with happiness, sadness, gladness, things of a kind I would never forget. I miss my CNN Days.

Noise

Unmanaged thoughts
Discord in the head
Through all the mind pollution
It’s the Word that must be heard
Cluttered hearts
Blind eyes
Political correctness
In place of the prize
If they move it
From the doorpost
Of every governing place
The Word of God
Lives in the heart
Of His Faithful race
No color code
No barricade
No legislative sneer
Can take the place
Of the Holy Spirit
Drawing us more near

© Cheryl Farris- INTERNAL NOISE: Chaos to Christ

God destroys both the Blameless and Guilty, Is this Just?

Recently, I have been discovering what being 'Christian' really means I describe myself as someone who was lost wandering and wondering through the corridors of religion but has finally found the right path and is discovering something new every day.

So I wrote the title of this post on my Facebook status some weeks ago. I wasn't really expecting answers, I just wanted to see what may be drawn out from people. I knew the answer to the question, I wanted to find out if people also knew. I had done a study before that day and understood why God was, apart from the fact that the scriptures have it written explicitly. The replies I got were quite horrid, and many claimed that I was 'insulting' God. I had to wonder if we were reading the same bible.

Well, fast-forward to the Tsunami that hit Japan, and you have all these questions thrown up also. Any loss of any kind is a sad occurrence and as Humans we should atleast show some compassion to those suffering, but the need to turn it into a God doesn't exist/God Exists debate, is what I don't understand. Some even went as far as saying it was Karma on the Japanese because of Whaling and the bombing on Pearl Harbor, ridiculous. I personally was reminded about how vulnerable we are as Humans, no matter what great achievement we think we have, in the twinkle of an eye, it could be completely wiped out.

So, is this God's Plan/Will, Is it fair? Did God create earthquakes/tsunamis? I may not fully understand why we suffer so much in the world, but the bible gives the best explanation so far. God created everything and it was good and is still good. But what happened? Sin came into the world, and the book of Genesis is clear on how. Relationships were broken. Between God and Man, Man and Man, Man and Animals, Man and Nature. It became a survival of the fittest. This means that as long as we are on this earth, Rain will fall on everybody, nothing like karma but thankfully that's not the end. I am sure the tsunami is a logical occurrence according to the Laws of Nature and since Man has a broken relationship with Nature, it's hard to believe that would have been stoppable. Still, we have seen where good has come out of suffering so it surely cannot be the end. For more on creation and our role as Human Beings, read this paper

To conclude, We know sad things would always happen, but is it worth arguing over what caused it and why (uncontrollable situations) . Why don't we just respond positively to those suffering, offering a hand, offering some aid, offering an ear. Showing love, compassion, tenderness and sensitivity. If all you can do is pray, pray that people are comforted somehow, pray that they might even begin to think about ideas which would ensure a higher level of safety in case of a next time, not only in Japan but in other parts of the world. Give, give your time, efforts and money where possible to aid those suffering. Tender-hearts.....that's all I pray for.

The Plan

I love walking across the field between my house and the train station, in the dark. Lately I haven't done a lot of walking because of the rains which leave the field really soggy. There are three main reasons why I love doing this. One, its a faster route if I have to walk, in other words, if I don't want to spend 130p on a 4min bus ride when I can walk it in 10. Two, I love the open field, because I'm mostly alone with my music, the stars and the moon. The third reason, I found out today. There is a tall block of flats close to my building so when I get to the start of the field station-side and look across, it looks really far away, and even as I start to walk, it seems like I would never get to it. So I began to walk today, and was just enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, looking ahead at the block, I then noticed the moon and stopped, it was a perfect crescent, wish I had a proper camera. When I snapped back to reality and turned to continue the walk, it suddenly seemed like the block of flats was upon me. Before I stopped, It still looked far away, but finally I passed by it and went on home!

While walking, I was listening to Bloc Party's Compliments, which I think is one of the saddest songs ever. Every time I listen to it, I have a personal video of it playing in my head. people like robots marching down seemingly endless stairs, then they fall and disappear. I like it because it is a reminder of how futile this life is without God, a reminder that God has a plan. I love the instruments very much too and no, it's not a 'Christian' Song but it won't cost you anything to listen to it. Just google www.grooveshark.com, type in 'Bloc Party Compliments' then listen. 

We sit and we sigh

And nothing gets done

So right, so clued-up

We just get old

And all the while

Been torn asunder

Nicotine

And bacteria

What are we coming to

What are we gonna do

I thought of how the block of flats represented things that we hope for, things that seem too far to reach, like the Ultimate plan described in the bible , like the things I am presently working towards...so much plans. They look so far of, and even as the days go by, it never seems like I'm getting closer. But I realize that if I sit back and fold my arms, if I give up, I will never reach it. Just like I finally reached the block, my hope is renewed, just like it suddenly came upon me, I know I will get there.

The Re-Adjustment Bureau

A friend and I went to watch a movie called Paul, which was funny and a bit icky. Usually before the movie comes on, you are treated to about 15mins of Movie previews, annoying when you are early to the cinema, wonderful if you are late. As the trailers went by, I thought to myself how it seemed like all the movies coming out, try to talk about Free Will, Chance, Control, Destiny. It may be the effect of this end-of-world story but it just made me realize how much man wants to be in control of his own life and even others around him. How much we want to believe we are the ultimate.

One week later I go to watch one of them, 'The Adjustment Bureau' with Matt Damon (seems to be thrust into any movie involving a chase, guy must love to run), whom I absolutely adore and Emily Blunt, who I've loved since the Devil wears Prada. Plus! I've been reading Philip Dick since I can remember. Anyways, How did it go? It started well for me, I was excited. Then at some point, the context of the movie began to fade into silliness (Only men in the bureau, only one black guy, and Matt Damon dared to ask why he was different..funny!, hats, turning knobs where there was none..e.t.c ). I felt awkward. I can't even say if I like it or not. There are definitely parts I love but  I wouldn't want to watch it again.

The movie has been panned as a 'Bourne meets Inception' movie. It was more like The Matrix meets Mad Men and initiates a threesome with The Notebook, but no where near as awesome as any of them. The movie suggests everything that happens, happens according to a 'Plan' but things change, 'chance'. I like the review of this blog, http://rtbtaketwo.wordpress.com/ and this, God Has No Adjustment Bureau 

'' So what take does the film offer? On the surface, it seems to imply that the Chairman merely reacted to David’s choices. Yet subtle clues appear each time David takes another step down the “untraced” path, hinting that the Chairman knew all along which path he would follow. In the end, the caseworkers offer this preface: “Only the Chairman knows the plan. We only see part of it.”

The “part of it” we can all see in this film reminds us of the constant human effort to understand the nature of God and resolve age-old philosophical debates. Even though many deny him, they cannot help but try to capture his essence through the arts ''

I loved that I could see other parallels with Christianity. I loved when Matt Damon's character was told that the reason they didn't want him to be with Emily's was that He would find her more important than all what he has been pursuing all his life. It could be likened to the 'Devil' constantly trying to prevent us from knowing or seeking God's love, because when we 'get it' we become content because it's all that we need. So I concluded that while I couldn't take the film seriously apart from its sappy romance side, because the movie couldn't really decide whose side it was on, if the Adjustment Bureau represented anything in the Christian belief, It would be the Devil and his minions. lol. 

While the Adjustment Bureau is at work on earth, I'm glad to know there is a Re-Adjustment Crew who will make all things work together for good at the end of the day! :D

When the Pharaoh Fell...

We had been following the uprising in Egypt for the past four days, because of the climax it had been heading to. Yesterday, we waited earnestly for the President's speech. It was, disappointing and while I'm not Egyptian, I felt hurt, and I heard some of those at the square say, they were ready to die for freedom. I honestly didn't want their suffering, sweat and blood to be in vain while I thought to myself, I couldn't even do that. I don't believe there's any true physical freedom except death but in the vein of what was happening, I thought, It's only a conviction that could make this people spend over two weeks without wavering for this cause. You don't see courage like this everyday.

Early this morning, I had a dream, that Mubarak was with a friend, in a place nice and sunny, playing golf, actually happy he was no longer president, I tweeted it. I also turned on the TV later and the news from the day before hadn't changed, the people at the square hadn't either. But then! some hours after, I just strolled into the sitting room, and even with my poor eyesight, I read on the telly, BREAKING NEWS: PRESIDENT STEPS DOWN, I screamed and my aunt nearly gave up the ghost. She was stunned, and asked why I screamed like that. I just laughed and gave a little victory jig. You'd have thought I was 'Egyptian'.

I can't describe the way I feel, I am ecstatic, I am overjoyed. I think this is a big step. and the day couldn't be any more profound, given that it's also the 21st anniversary of Mandela's freedom from prison. What saddens me though is the prevailing issues in Egypt, Racism for one and the Muslim/Christian divide. I hope that this demonstration will finally unite the country for good. I hope that they would see that we are all ONE peoples and that there is indeed Unity in diversity. I hope that on a larger scale, people will realize this also. I hope that people would once again look to Egypt as a source of life, new life flowing in our veins, giving us the strength to go out there and actualize change. I hope that the Nigeria mass will finally wake up.

A New Day, A New Life, I am glad.

Black Women, Racism and Vogue Italia

I never knew I was black until I left the shores of Nigeria. I had been called 'yellow pawpaw' all my life, and I always thought my oldest sister was 'yellower' than I was. Even with this, there were no statistics in Nigeria, that played out like 50% Yellow, 20% Charcoal 30% Mixed-Colour. When I watched things on TV, and knew there was such a  thing as racism, read books about the slavery and all, it still never really dawned on me, what it really involved. Going on holidays, is not quite the same as living in another country. 

When I consequently got immersed in a foreign culture, I became just another statistic in their collective eyes. We are all statistics really. 50% White, 30% Black 40% Asian 10% Mixed-Race.  I always was against the notion of 'Race' and that to accept Race was to accept Racism. Yes, there's no 'Race' but Racism is not about genetic make-up. I began to see Race as it really plays out in such a place, and in the world at large.

One of my main concerns in this post is about the representation of  Black Women in the media. As I became more aware, I realized I didn't like it. Women in general you may say, But Black women for me, because its what I identify with, also because of the gross imbalance in representation. Black women, are mostly either shown to be highly sexualized, music video girls for example, who only make use of their bodies, no brains. Or the musicians..which the same can be said about them really.  A gross imbalance, where are the Black Women who are doing things which benefit themselves and society at large? I honestly don't see that at the forefront of my media sources. I am a designer (UX) where are the Black Women in design and technology? I see Zero.

I watched DBanj's new video, I could only shake my head. There is nothing new but the old formula of heavily clothed men and naked women. Why is this still so appealing? I cannot understand. The recycled image that man will only have power through money, women, power through her body. It's really hard to take in. The worst part is that many 'Black' women saw nothing wrong, infact they were extremely pleased with this sort of representation.

Another concern is the Vogue italia spread which people are raving about. I remember a question  that came up on my twitter timeline once, about racism in the Fashion Industry. I replied that it was a sure thing, it is still largely prevalent. If there's anything that shows the present racism in the fashion industry, it is that Vogue Italia spread. You ask how? One of the best definitions of Racism I have ever come across, is by Michael Eric Dyson, you can watch the video here 

Racism is the ability to impose your viewpoints, biased as they are, as normative, and then have the power to reinforce them as necessary and primarily exclusive.

Racism is about power. It is not a simple matter of preference or bias. The big wigs of the Fashion Industry have power to control what happens within. So far, 'White' has been the model, and it hasn't changed. We see a sprinkle of 'Black' women, but really they are taken to be a 'token' which helps to appease those that may once in a while say, 'No Black Face there!' They are also taken to be a 'Trend' How can a whole group of people be relegated to the back page spread of an All-white Magazine, and you find nothing wrong with it. I like this take on it  here

I won't even talk about the cigarettes, and the styling of the photos, these deserve  a separate post. For us to move from this tokenism and trendism, Black Models (Those of 'colour') in this case have to be seen as normal, and they should be featured as frequently as others, there are more Black and Asian people on this planet for fairness sakes. 

I would really love to see a representation of Black Women on my media sources that I can relate to. I want to see them as part of the fabric of this world not. an occasional subject. I would really like Black Women themselves to deliberately refuse to accept the rubbish we are being fed. We also need to create content, if people won't give us a voice, We need to become our own Voice.

Underneath the Complexities

 

“The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven” - John Milton

 

I love whole parts, I love seeing the big picture. But no matter how complex the whole is, it can still be broken down into the basic bits. I went with my uncle visiting, and the host handed me the Inception DVD. I'd been wanting to watch the movie , but never actively pursued it. I was really delighted. So many people had spoken about it, and the whole dream within a dream thing, was appealing because I have experienced it. Anyway, I began to watch the movie, my mind immediately began to process patterns. I didn't get an understanding of the movie until when they began to plan the Inception. I realized the movie was about basic human struggles. Leonardo's character was the main point with his 'guilt'. 

For the first 15mins of the movie, I had the IQ of a flowerpot, afterwards at some point, I started to get bored. The continous talk and indiscriminate sleeping was beginning to get on my nerves,  nothing was really happening. Alll I was hearing was 'Consious, Sub-consious, Dream' Oh Brother!. Then the movie picked up speed, aah!. 

All in all, I thought it was a cross between James Bond and The Matrix, The characters themselves didn't really appeal much to me, except for the lead characters, Leonardo and Marion. The end of the movie was predictable but I guess that was the crux of the whole movie, 2.5hrs just to find out all Man wants to do is go home and that He can, if he confesses and repents. It also showed how powerful the mind is, so much that we need to guard it with ALL diligence.

The movie is summed up for me in this verse from the Bible; 

 ''Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God''

Ecc 5:7  

Morality is Volatile

I don't know if people think at all, or they just try to find the easy way out or perhaps they just echo the thoughts and words of others. Whatever they do, many don't seem to understand that morals cannot be the basis of a judgment where all parties are not in agreement. Just this week I've heard people talk about moral rights, moral justification and what not when it comes to the vote and governance of a country..

What is Morality? Your sense of right or wrong, perhaps just yourself or in a group. Still you cannot project this unto someone else, except you all agreed in the first place what right and wrong was. If there is no standard of right and wrong, my morals really do not matter to someone else.

There is a standard in this world, whether we like it or not, but because of darkened minds and hardened hearts, insensitive or over-sensitive consciences, Morality has become variable. This is the reason why countries have laws. Because to one man, killing is his hobby, and to another it's a sin. But to make this fair for everyone, the people of a community need to agree whether killing is wrong or right, So if someone is found doing the opposite they can then be judged according to the laws laid down.

This is also the reason why Christianity is not based on Morality (I don't know about others). Christianity is based on an understanding as shown by the bible, an understanding of the plan of God for this world, and the need for redemption. No matter what your morals are, when you trust in the work of Jesus, when you believe in what was wrought by God, you live by that code of conduct (goes for some others). Whatever your morals were before, you'd have to put them aside and live by faith according to what your Father pleases. 

The same goes for countries and communities, If you are born into a country with certain laws, you have to learn those laws put aside your morals, and live according to the laws of that land if not you will certainly be judged by the land if you go in the opposite direction. You can now see the futility of your morality.

Can I date an Atheist.

Yes, only an Atheist who is unsure of his beliefs, would be able to tolerate me, someone who not only believes God exists, but also believes in God. Maybe, we can't really call this person an Atheist, but many tend to wear the garment without really knowing what it means.

I was answering this question on my twitter timeline when someone decided to engage me in a debate. I had initially said that Atheists weren't as tolerant as spiritual people. I tried to put it mildly but the truth is Atheism DOES NOT tolerate 'God'. It's absurd to think it does, if it does then, it's no longer Atheism. In fact If I was Atheist, I'd be livid if someone thought otherwise.

What is Atheism? In a broad sense, it is the rejection of belief in the existence of deities. Simply put by Wikipedia, It hasn't been disputed, that's why it's the number one result I get when I type 'Atheism' in google.

This person went on to argue that he was operating under the premise that, An Atheist is simply one who believes in the absence of God. He felt i was painting Atheists with too broad a brush. How??

I tried to let him know, Atheism wasn't what he took it to be. Atheism is not about the absence of God. Atheism is a total denial of existence. 

Atheism is like a vacuum. Putting tolerance under Atheism is like saying a vacuum should have some fresh air. How can it? and still remain a vacuum? to tolerate any matter. It would no longer be a Vacuum. 

Why is Spirituality more tolerant?

A vacuum can exist in a place filled with matter, but nothing can exist in a vacuum.

So, really..Date an Atheist??

When it really comes down to it, dating a True Atheist would be really difficult, especially for the Atheist. But it is quite hard to date someone who believes you are 100% deluded for believing a god exists.

Do Ugly people feel less pain?

You know I've thought about this several times but not quite deeply. It was only recently where someone on hearing the death of some girls commented 'and they were so pretty'. I started to think about this again. The importance we lend to physical appearance is so staggering, and it invades every aspect of our lives. I too have made such a comment once upon a time, I can't remember a specific event but I must have. What does someone's percieved 'prettiness' or 'handsomeness' have to do with a sad occurrence in connection with them. Are people who are 'beautiful' in our opinions not supposed to go through pain? Or if they do, is it more than their beauty should allow? Do they get a pass mark, should the 'angel of death' pass over them? We hear it all the time, or is it out of courtesy?, that we just have to make such comments. I am trying to understand. Aaah well.

This Rape Thing

I was on twitter, the day started generally upbeat, then one of those I follow tweeted this link,  http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2010/11/seven-points-on-rape-prevention-and.html and I usually open 99% of the links she tweets, So I did and started to read.

It just began to stir what had been in sitting in my soul. And I was really boiling. I CANNOT comprehend HOW a RAPE victim can be BLAMED!!!!!!!!!! was one of the first things I tweeted. And then, one of my followers starts to ask me if its true some girls enjoy rape??? maybe if rape was just about having sex.

The annoying thing is most RAPE happens inside a nice warm house, with someone the VICTIM KNOWS. People are so quick to dismiss the topic, I WONDER WHY?? Only the previous day had I watched on the telly, A man who murdered his wife because he didnt want her to know he raped two young girls. Another follower then tweeted, maybe those who commit rape are starved of sex. Why are people so quick to justify these actions?? How do you know he/she is being starved of sex?? Rape is not about whether the person was starved or not. 

The only persons who may have an excuse are those who have Mental problems or Those who have been cursed from their village. Some people like to turn their noses, because it seems like such a messy thing to think about. In the case I watched on TV, probably the woman thought, Rape doesnt affect me, I have no daughters and I live in a very protected little town with the nicest husband, but it was the Husband who RAPED, and didn't want her to know it, so he sent her to the great beyond with a hammer while she slept.

I didnt know my neighbors were Rapists, once upon a time in Victoria Island. One New Years day in a far away country, I KNEW. I blogged about the incident, because it really hurt me http://teanni.blogspot.com/2008/02/raped.html So-called Island Oil Big boys!!! They were NOT starved of any sex!! They had been raping others, but no one cared cause they were 'Sluts' anyways, plus they were given money. Then they raped a 16 year old girl on New Years day. A girl who came to visit at my house.

RAPE hardly occurs ALONE, theres always some other 'Crime' before and after it. It usually comes with a multitude of lies and some times psychological raping of the victims mind. It could also end up in death. How can anyone still see this as a trivial issue 'You are not the first to be raped' Disgusting!

One of my followers, a guy again said he didn't know, having sex with one's wife without her consent was rape, and I told him, well now, You know!. It takes a wise person to realise where he has been wrong and CHANGE. The burden falls on Human kind, people need to Wake up. We need a serious re-orientation, people shouldn't be taken for granted this way!

In the book, Perdido Street Station by China Mieville, RAPE was punishable by EXILE, (and even some body parts were ripped off). Because it is to STEAL/DESTROY someones chance/choice, just like Murder. But In our society rape gets what, 2 years in jail or none at all?

So someone else, a girl asks me if rape occurs outside the frequent, Male to Female bracket. YES, surely because its more about Power, Force and control than sex itself. There is a case in the first link where a/an homosexual guy goes on a date and his partner rapes him.

Rape occurs ANY which way...Thinking of it now, I know some girls back in Boarding school who were raped by some of our seniors *shudders*

The only situation where I can maybe blame a Victim of Rape is if (for example) The guy was wearing a 'I am a RAPIST' sign and she still followed him. It would be a pity because perhaps the girl thought she/he had a 'Sense of humour'

Just to further understand what Rape is about, here is a parallel.

There was a punishment I was given when I was in Nursery school, I was still called Nurietu then. I wonder why I never forgot, now I know. I was asked to drink water by my aunt. As simple as that. And I loved water then, LOVED it. Only that, I didnt want to drink Water at that time, and I was given about 10 bottles to drink. While I attempted to get past 1 bottle, NO, I wasn't thinking of how much I LOVED water, I was thinking of how much I HATED my aunt.

It is my heartfelt desire, that people stop turning away from the issues. People don't want to talk about it, if we don't, how will anything change?. Another guy on my timeline says, 'Its like any other crime, people will always get raped' Rape is not like any other crime. In many instances, It would not be seen as a crime, therein lies the issue. My people please, let's Wake UP.

P.S: I find that even the so-called intelligent/intellectual men are usually mute on this topic, some say it would just be stating the obvious. This is where you see Assumption becoming a Hydra. If It was so damn obvious and people used their common-sense why is this commonplace? Sometimes the so-called obvious needs to be CARVED in the sky.

Bloody Vampires!

No!, not these ones...Aaliyah still managed to look pretty though.
I doubt most people, remember these...

(Courtesy: The Nigerian Nostalgia 1960-1980s project on Facebook)

They are posters from the Anti-Malaria campaign in Nigeria of 1962, Imagine that. An issue we are still fighting tooth and nail. I have been struck uncountable (I could probably count them, but..you get the picture) times by this disease, transmitted by the Queen specie and fought by several 'Quines.

Recently, I was involved in a discussion which was started by a friend, who wrote this

Dear Bill Gates,  

If you really care about eradicating malaria in Africa, why not select a small tropical African town and work very hard until malaria is completely eradicated from that town? That will bring us much closer to solving the problem than a thousand speeches about how much you care, or a million donations to professional non-profits who have never actually solved any problems.  

You're welcome. :-)

It triggered lots of opinions and solutions towards the issue. My stance has been mainly eradication of the the specie. Firstly by destroying breeding places. I think it is as simple as that. But knowing the kind of poverty people are knee deep in, and the consequent effect this has on the areas they live, I shake my head, this may be too much to ask. I was totally against some ideas, which were hinged on using computers to motivate people and what not, Someone who hasn't eaten where is he going to see computer??. Someone compared it to the weight issues abroad and how the internet helped people lose weight, C'mon!! Anyway as usual, my love for analogies didn't escape here. This is the way I see the Mosquito issue and what has been done so far about it.

This issue is like a house built on a very bad foundation in Lekki. The house begins to have cracks and the roof, holes. People are called in to patch the house and the owners are happy. After a while more patching of the roof and cementing over the cracks. One time a brand new roof is even fitted. The owners are enlightened that their house is on a bad foundation and could collapse any time. If there is any sign of rumble they should run out but in the meantime call people to help patch and cement if they see any faults. 

One day, the house collapses and kills the whole family because they were fast asleep.

Hopefully our case wouldn't get so dire. But the necessary things have to come first, a good environment to live in (for starters) is paramount.

Wetin Concern Gorimapa with Shower Cap??

This is a loaded Rhetoric, It makes me laugh, but more so than that, It lends truth to the current state of our world. When people try to take on things that make no difference to them, but constitute a waste of resources and subsequent discomfort, even though they may not admit! Hilarious 

the Lesson is, Don't Do it because others are DOing it!

Are you a Black Women?

I don't believe in Race, but I believe in cultures, in memes, In conditioning and the likes. I believe in the inherent wickedness of man. I also believe that we all are from Africa. It is quite unfortunate the things that have happened, but it is up to those who will allow themselves think and re-write these stories to lead us on a new path.

Slavery has been a part of Humankind since time was born, it's in man's nature..the want to dominate, to be fearful of anything that seems bigger or better. Slavery of the kind which crossed oceans, has been the most talked about, but people forget that Slavery occured in every area of this world.

The problem with Slavery is not the work that is done, even sons can do that. The problem is that people are taught/conditioned to hate themselves, to deny/hate their own Identity and to see themselves ONLY in the terms of the Slavemaster. This is MENTAL SLAVERY. 

First you get a NEW NAME, everyone knows the power in Names, 'Black' 'coloured' 'Brown' 'stupid' 'Nigger' 'Lazy'and whatever they come up with . Then gradually everything you knew is ERASED! This form of slavery is the most powerful because you feel no pain! you would tell a mental slave they are slaves but they will never agree. You only go to a Doctor if you agree that you are unwell. If someone is beaten and forced to wear chains, they will resist. But how can you resist something you can't feel?? There is a popular 'saying' which comes to mind, ''If two people call you a horse, you may want to stop and think about it. If three people call you a horse you may want to start shopping for a saddle". You conform to what others (Because for some reason there is truth in numbers, *sigh ) have called you and to every characteristic of that thing.

But we have Brains, We can think, it all starts with the simple WHY? something that we are born with, we need to study kids..they always ask WHY and that is where learning begins. YOU can ask, WHY?? WHAT?  USE IT!

Back to the question  'Are you a Black women?'  I will excuse your 'blunder' because you don't seem to be a native English speaker but No, sweetie..I'm Not.

If you really need to describe me, a deep ochre tone is more suitable, and culturally I am Nigerian