Nobody is Single.

Image: Bienenwabe

The first time I learnt about this story, The Lonely Death of Joyce Vincent ...some months back, I was moved to tears. I've always wanted to live alone, but with other people. I remember describing to someone, how if one lived alone, calling for help in an emergency may be impossible. I don't think humans are supposed to live alone. What bites me most about the story is that no one bothered to check for her, it hits close to home, but 3 years...astonishing. I wish we would realize how much strength we can find in reaching out to someone, and if we took more time outside of our own selves to reach out to people like this. 

I remember some weeks ago when I took a sick day off from work. I learnt about the death of El-rufai's daughter who is my agemate, and lived alone. I almost had a panic attack, I was so sad about it. I thought to myself, alone in my room. 'I don't want to end up like that'  Humans..we all need somebody.

This leads me to one thing that is true, Nobody is Single. Everyone has atleast one relationship with another person. And even if you can't pinpoint a specific relationship, think of your relationship with Humankind and Nature. A man-woman relationship or sexual relationship isn't the zenith of relationships, it is just ONE kind. People should not be made to feel less than they are because they are not  in that kind of relationship, some can EASILY do without this (e.g ME) with no sense of loss. 

Ofcourse 'society' will pander to what sells, Sex, Romance, this drives SALES, but is really a selfish concept and has made people think less of themselves. The individualistic philosophy of the Western world, where everyone screams ME, ME, ME has lead to this terrible, harmful mindset. We can do without this and is really the better way.

If you are alone in your house this season, stop thinking about yourself for one second and lamenting that you are 'single' There are many out there, who need someone to talk to. Call somebody, Go to your local shelter and volunteer, do something!

I hope it won't be too late for us to realize that all we have is each other.


Edit: If you can read> http://www.cascadance.com/why-neuroscience/
also, Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers..where he writes about the Rosetta Community, very interesting.

A Festival of Slaps

Ok, so I thought this video below was very funny. So funny that it made tears run down my cheeks. If it doesn't make you laugh, then we can't be friends.

A week ago, I heard about another 'festival of slaps' video, and was keen to see what it was all about. I heard it involved 'Bishop' Oyedepo, I knew this was not going to make me laugh given his past records and I was right.

Not only did I not laugh, I felt angry. So angry it made tears run down my cheeks. If it doesn't make you sad, then you can't be human.

I am sad about Ignorance, one which led her to that church.

I am angry that this man could assault someone and in public then go scot-free. Not only preaching a self-centered gospel but living in that way. It makes me boil.

What can We do? 

Educate People, Take a Stand against such and Pray! 

Ceremonials

One of the better albums I've listened to this year. My best songs are;
Shake It Out
No Light, No Light
Never Let Me Go
If Only For The Night
Spectrum
Remain Nameless
Heartlines

Plus I just realized that 'You've got the love' is a Gospel track, I couldn't love it more.

Are You Bored?

see funny christmas pics here

I don't like to believe that I am the only who is bored of having to celebrate the same things, year in, year out. Are we so uncreative that we cannot attempt to make our celebrations a bit more 'special' 

 It saddens me that organizations use these celebrations, these 'traditions' to prey on us the gullible, adverts go up when you expect them, urging you to buy some expensive gift for your 'loved ones' 

 I am quite certain that if we refuse to accept things that have just been handed to us, it would be less easy for things to control us. 

 That said, I can't wait to move to my farm.

Blink!

'Snap Judgements' 'Impulse buys' 'First Impressions' We all know what these mean, decisions we take at the spur of the moment which are not premeditated or planned before hand. I call FALSE, and this is exactly what Malcolm Gladwell in his Blink! book points out. Snap judgments are not really made up there and then, they take time to build up, they are 'learned'. Even emotions, a hot tempered person wasn't born hot tempered. Actions and Decisions are complex, nothing really happens 'simply'

Yesterday I tried to explain the reasons I left Twitter to someone who asked why. I remember saying 'It wasn't like I planned it or anything, I was just tweeting and then I just stopped' When I put the phone down, I felt like I had just lied. While my decision at the time, appeared to be done, 'snaply' I had thought about leaving twitter, times without number, I had thought of the things that I couldn't reconcile with myself. Basically it had been a long time coming.

Another example, would be suicides which leave you with no explanations as to what must have happened. Gary Speed, everyone is saying 'oh he was so happy, this and that, the day began like every other day'. I don't think he was possessed or someone killed him, so what happened?. It may seem like a spur of the moment thing, but it really is just an outward manifestation of minutes, seconds, days of buildup in the mind.

Next time you think your decision or action 'just happened', blink, think again. I am sure that having this knowledge would help us give our actions a second over before we make them. It will also help us reduce the judgements we pass on others and frequency of bad decisions or actions.