Praise the Lord.

On that day, when evening had come, He told them, “Let’s cross over to the other side of the sea.” So they left the crowd and took Him along since He was already in the boat. And other boats were with Him. 

 A fierce windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking over the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But He was in the stern, sleeping on the cushion. So they woke Him up and said to Him, “Teacher! Don’t You care that we’re going to die?” 

He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Silence! Be still!” The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. Then He said to them, “Why are you fearful? Do you still have no faith?” 

And they were terrified and asked one another, “Who then is this? Even the wind and the sea obey Him"

The study was on Mark, never really studied it before and looked forward to learning new perspectives.

So it was important to finally get what Jesus said in Mark 4:35 "Let's cross over to the other side of the sea"  If Jesus says this why would it matter if there was a raging storm?

I have never really minded storms of life, I accepted them since I was a kid, however there was something I've always craved, my own person.

I always wanted a person who was closest to me and was with me through thick and thin, and I with them.
Kept searching, looking for this person in women ((not romantic), in men (friend then romantic) online, offline.

At least 20yrs went by and it wasn't until my recent storms I realised I didn't have to search anymore, Jesus is with me always. He is the friend who is always there through thick and thin. Humans are not guaranteed to be and we must not throw this weight of expectation on people.

Even though it feels lonely daily to not have an 'everyday friend' I know feelings aren't truth, the truth is God is with me always.

I also learn to appreciate the gifts from others when they come, I learn to give of what I've been given, share the love I've been so lavished with and still pray in faith for God's good gifts in form of friends and a life partner, trusting that God gives as God sees fit.

I'm so grateful that we have the Lord almighty with us in storms and in calm, always.

Praise the Lord!

With Friends like This...

Me & Ham (2008)

You have hammered.

Sometimes it takes a bit of retrospection (casting of the eyes backward contemplatively ) to truly appreciate what you've had or the journey you have been on. I don't have many words to describe how grateful and thankful I am for this girl. I never knew that, at the moment we took the picture above in school that we would still be friends now, 5years after but time doth fly.

Ham wrote an amazing post about our journey HERE one I really can't compose. Read and appreciate, don't just see it as a story of both of us, but see it as an example of what loyalty and friendship means.

Love always to Ham.

We are friends, really?

So, I read recently of a blogger who died from cancer. One of his 'friends' had exclaimed that they didn't even know about it and that really made me wonder, and took my mind back to this post I made a while ago. How well do we know our friends?, or should we even call them friends. Are there other words, one can use to really put this in perspective, this relationship, because I don't know. 

It disturbs me, how much social media has also played a part in this, while connecting people leaves much to be desired underneath. I'm not up for meeting everyone I talk to online, but even those I know, who I wouldn't call friends, I have a bit of care for, talk much more of those who I hold close to my 'bosom' . One could also argue that a person only shares what they are willing to share. From what I've learnt so far, people would share anything if they would feel comforted from just talking to that person, sadly many we call friends don't.

I don't have many people I call friends, but I try to let them know that communication is what binds us. I have no problem if we drift apart, we would no longer be friends, and then I don't expect a lot of sharing in that direction. Still, every single, I try to become someone people would find comfort in. Some of us are indeed stronger than others.

Don't Ignore the Living

This morning, one of my friends, tweeted that she was watching My Girl, remember the movie? It brought tears in my mind, and the replay of a particular scene that never left my head for over 15yrs. I told her, I'd cry loads if I tried to watch, but deep down I knew I would look for it and watch it. I've been crying loads since. It just hurts it really does, especially someone like me, always quick to put myself in other people's shoes. It's heart breaking..losing someone so close. But Jamie Lee said something I didnt remember as a child, 'Don''t ignore the living' It's hard to remove our minds, from those who are gone, but nothing we do can bring them back. We should focus more on life and those who are living. 

Another aspect of the movie that brought tears to my eyes, was the love shared between friends at such a young age, there was no guile, oh how we long for that now. Its such a thing as heartbreaking as death, here you only have people with ulterior motives (for the most part) around you. When Jesus said we had to become like children, he wasn't talking for fun. We think we know so much as adults and our minds and heart tend to get clouded and hardened. Kids show the purest form of love you can get. I have to live with this reality and acknowledge those I hold dear and hold them dearer, living life. 

     With this I say Happy Birthday to my Friend, Tosin ^_^ hip hip hooray

The Friend of my Friend is my Enemy

Not quite...but i realize i usually don't like having dealings with them. I wonder if i'm the only one who thinks this way. If i don't become friends with them, by themselves..then it's usually a no-way street.


I dunno if its just selfishness, maybe i need to just come to terms with the fact that my friends have a life aside me ¬.¬

That One Friend

Friendship has always been a touchy subject with me, but I've always wanted that one friend.

So yeah, right after primary school where everything was a blur, guys were girls, girls were guys, and it was pretty much safe. everyone was in everyone's clique (technically not, but..) I began to feel the need for that 'one' friend when I got into secondary school and everyone found their 'square-root'. That one friend I could always count on, to be by my side. That one friend who, didn't want to be with anyone else as much. That one friend, I could swap angst-filled stories with.lol. That one friend, you know..

I also began to understand myself better, I surely didn't want to be in any 'clique' as was the order of the day and I was generally ok with being by myself. But it was difficult doing that as a 'boarder'

I finally thought I had found the 'one'. We were close and hung together alot. when she wasn't around, don't get me wrong, i had some other friends, who I gisted and hung with, but we werent that close and like I said, I didn't fancy a posey. Anyways as we neared the end of school, I realised she was just as shallow as the rest of them *sigh* what a farce!

University, I was like 'ok breath of fresh air, maybe I would meet this person' Hmm..though I met her but my joy was short-lived. She left the school very early and I just couldn't bother at all. I didn't want someone who was everyone's friend, I didn't want someone who had one or more appendages. I wanted a lone figure, someone as crazy as I was. weird and all that jazz. Didn't exist

I'm not looking for that 'one' friend anymore cause i realise while she may exist for some, she necessarily may not exist in my path. It would be great if i meet her someday, but i'm generally done looking.
Cause I think I may have found her, but she is far away....

Friendship by Proxy

I can't stand it, I don't do it.
If we cannot become friends by ourselves then I'm not into it.

I used to wonder why I'm hardly interested in the friends of my friends
Even my close friend who is married, I hardly ask after his wife!
But then finally reflected on the fact that friendship to me would never ever be had in this way,
no,
thank you very much.

Limbo!

If you aren't catholic, or you just saw or heard this word for the first time, you'd probably think its a South American form of dance, one where you would 'ben-low' on the sands of a crystal blue beach. pretty picture eh. you would be right but I wish that's what I was talking about. *sigh*

Limbo is hell...on the edge they say. but it could be worse than the supposedly 'worst' thing. I was on the bus going to school (seems like i do a lot thinking on the bus these days) but limbo just popped into my head, I don't want to be in limbo I thought quite strongly. I love to know where I stand with people.

I don't like people that confuse me, those are people who are opaque and I cant really discern. People tend to drain me, but i know i have the right person when i get sparks of energy, even if they drain me after a while. But for folk who are opaque, they give me such a hard time.

I don't have time for time-wasters really.lol, like a South African song says, its either ngedwathanda or ngedwayeka, you either 'love' me or you leave me alone...no limbo.
Everything or Nothing.
Thank you.

Signed: MGNT.

Letting it out

I really do try with people... I really do, but I refuse to waste any more energy pursuing lost causes. What's the joy in a relationship if so much effort is put in with little return, no system can work like that without breaking down. Anybody that takes way more than they put in if they put in any effort at all, is just a looter.

There is so much in my personal and professional life I need to focus on, but first of all I have to let go of these people. The funny thing is, they don't add zero to my life and I've been kidding myself. oh well, looking on the sunny side, it wasn't always gloomy, but the drift sets in. I never can explain the drift, but I guess it happens, and after haven expended so much energy initially, when the drift sets in with such people, you just give up.

This is to moving on, enjoying life as it comes and looking forward to the next thing

Emo Blackmail

I'm the last person anyone should try this on, sadly theres no chance of it succeeding anyways. I cannot be threatened by anyone's offer or withdrawal of friendship, i dont think its that precious. Infact if it gets to this stage i really don't need it. One person told me this week or last, can't really remember. He said i was insolent and rude and this and that, just because he wanted me to do something which i'm not. I'm surprised though that it didnt occur to him before.lol. 'so be it' another dude says. To be honest, i'm only really shaky when i can't connect with female friends anymore.

I cannot be blackmailed into grovelling at anyones feet because they have 'so much' to offer. Life is too short to live like this. To the best of my abilities to i seek to provide the highest value i can to this world and refuse to be burdened by anyone person's view or perception.

So please, if you were planning this tactic, refrain or forever waste your time
Cheers! ^_^

A beautiful thing

I love Boston Legal alot, not just because of their smart quips but stuff like this really gets me

its so beautiful and had to be funny too! lol :D

Denny: What I give to you, what - what I share, I do with no one else. I like to think what you give to me, you do with nobody else. Now that - that may sound silly to you. But here's what I think is silly - the idea that jealousy or fidelity is reserved for romance. I always suspected that there was a connection between you and THAT man. That you got something you didn't get from me.

Alan: I probably do. But gosh, what I get from you, Denny ... People walk around today calling everyone their "best friend". The term doesn't have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or, at most, third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around offices, so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they've barely met. And everyone just "loves" everyone. As a result, when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn't much heard. I love you, Denny. YOU are my best friend. I can't imagine going through life without you as my best friend. Not gonna kiss you, however.

On Friends, Friendships and Horoscopes

Friends are Rare

Friendship is Exhausting

I am Virgo. or so they say

Storms Within

I'm getting more pissed with every passing heartbeat. Yet, one can only wonder, isn't every passing heartbeat another step towards death? Are we not in this world, only so we can die? Is the only reason of living, dying? What purpose do we have, to get up every morning, to a scarred body, work, and do it all over again? Are nothing but toys to a supposed god, moving around and doing everything he "commands"? Does this not mean that suicide is the easiest way out? People say that you shouldn't kill yourself because it's easy, well, isn't anyone who's ever cheated on anything taking the easy way out? So they really can't be saying nothing and still not be involved with hypocrisy. Do we live in a world of liars and hypocrites? Or do they just keep us alive for their own well-being, if they really loved you, they'd let you go to a place where you'd be in peace. This is were hatred comes from, too many people thinking about themselves and not letting others go, making them live a life they don't want to live anymore. Or maybe, the suicidal people are the selfish ones, only thinking about themselves and trying to escape to a better place. That, my friend, is what I want to know.

-----Ida Mehrnoush


I posted this note on my facebook page a few days ago. Only yesterday I saw a memorial page of a friend of some people I know. I looked at his pictures, he was what people would term a "fine" boy, then I decided to look through the wall posts to understand what happened.

I was shocked.

He had committed suicide, took a gun and shot himself.

One of the first thoughts that came to me was, in Nigeria????? I was seriously pained, I didn't know this guy, but my heart felt sore. He didn't seem like a dark person, alone..he seemed like so much fun, goofy and intelligent..someone I would have liked. Still, he must have been going through so much pain, so much anguish...to contemplate and actually commit suicide. Some of his friends said he had seemed normal sometime before the incident.

From what I read, he left a note which talked about a lecturer in school, who maybe had been holding him back from graduating, he had been in university for 8yrs already, for a 4yr course. I wondered if that was pain enough, maybe some people are just stronger than others..

I'm still so pained, but its made me want to be a better person with my friends and family. Though no other person can truly walk in another's shoes, we can hold them, love them and make the journey worthwhile, so that the storm within can gently give way to a soothing calm.

Musings

The weakest soul knowing its weakness and believing this truth that strength can only come through effort and pratice will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, adding effort to effort, strength to strength, and patience to patience, will never cease to develop and would at last, Grow divinely

Friendship is an inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having never to weigh your thoughts nor measure your words!

Her heart was broken
many times before
her face looked frozen
you's know she wasn't just sore
She had fallen
Yes, she had
But she was still chosen
By the One
By the son
Who died on the cross