Storms Within

I'm getting more pissed with every passing heartbeat. Yet, one can only wonder, isn't every passing heartbeat another step towards death? Are we not in this world, only so we can die? Is the only reason of living, dying? What purpose do we have, to get up every morning, to a scarred body, work, and do it all over again? Are nothing but toys to a supposed god, moving around and doing everything he "commands"? Does this not mean that suicide is the easiest way out? People say that you shouldn't kill yourself because it's easy, well, isn't anyone who's ever cheated on anything taking the easy way out? So they really can't be saying nothing and still not be involved with hypocrisy. Do we live in a world of liars and hypocrites? Or do they just keep us alive for their own well-being, if they really loved you, they'd let you go to a place where you'd be in peace. This is were hatred comes from, too many people thinking about themselves and not letting others go, making them live a life they don't want to live anymore. Or maybe, the suicidal people are the selfish ones, only thinking about themselves and trying to escape to a better place. That, my friend, is what I want to know.

-----Ida Mehrnoush


I posted this note on my facebook page a few days ago. Only yesterday I saw a memorial page of a friend of some people I know. I looked at his pictures, he was what people would term a "fine" boy, then I decided to look through the wall posts to understand what happened.

I was shocked.

He had committed suicide, took a gun and shot himself.

One of the first thoughts that came to me was, in Nigeria????? I was seriously pained, I didn't know this guy, but my heart felt sore. He didn't seem like a dark person, alone..he seemed like so much fun, goofy and intelligent..someone I would have liked. Still, he must have been going through so much pain, so much anguish...to contemplate and actually commit suicide. Some of his friends said he had seemed normal sometime before the incident.

From what I read, he left a note which talked about a lecturer in school, who maybe had been holding him back from graduating, he had been in university for 8yrs already, for a 4yr course. I wondered if that was pain enough, maybe some people are just stronger than others..

I'm still so pained, but its made me want to be a better person with my friends and family. Though no other person can truly walk in another's shoes, we can hold them, love them and make the journey worthwhile, so that the storm within can gently give way to a soothing calm.