Why are you still single they ask..

Because the internet won't allow me.
That and the fact that I am extremely slow to react in relationships.
I'm always stuck in this apathetic/sarcastic/witty/lazy/frivolous mood that makes it hard for people to gauge whether I'm serious or not, so they usually give up on me.
Nobody has been able to figure out my paradoxical nature yet.
If you can tolerate me for more than a few months I'll give you free brownies, and a place to sleep beside me at night

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