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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The Martyr Syndrome

My mother. She loves to talk and she will talk to anyone that will listen. Sometimes I like the stories, so I just kickback and listen. It was in one of such moments recently that I realized sharply. I've inherited a Martyr Syndrome not from my father but from my mother!

Now, what do I mean? Ever since I was younger, I was interested in people, I wanted to know what made them tick, why they did the things they did, why I did things. I've always felt strongly the desire to help people and sometimes would get annoyed if they did not need or rubbished my help. Now, unlike my mother, I don't go all out. My more introverted personality against her highly extroverted one, I think, puts me in check. I suspect my mum is ESFP, against my INFJ.

Yes, my more introverted personality which has a tendency to get lost in self, keeps me from thinking I have to break my back for other people or it could be I have fought to cultivate a more balanced worldview. I love to help people but there's a limit as I'm only human. When I do help, as I've grown older, I don't have a repo of 'good deeds I've done for others' I do it and gift it to the universe. The more I get to understand love and grace in Christ, the freer I feel to just give. But yes that syndrome.

I do pray that one day my mother will see the beauty of having such a personality that loves to help others, that she will empty her repo and rest in the splendid power of grace.