That One Friend

Friendship has always been a touchy subject with me, but I've always wanted that one friend.

So yeah, right after primary school where everything was a blur, guys were girls, girls were guys, and it was pretty much safe. everyone was in everyone's clique (technically not, but..) I began to feel the need for that 'one' friend when I got into secondary school and everyone found their 'square-root'. That one friend I could always count on, to be by my side. That one friend who, didn't want to be with anyone else as much. That one friend, I could swap angst-filled stories with.lol. That one friend, you know..

I also began to understand myself better, I surely didn't want to be in any 'clique' as was the order of the day and I was generally ok with being by myself. But it was difficult doing that as a 'boarder'

I finally thought I had found the 'one'. We were close and hung together alot. when she wasn't around, don't get me wrong, i had some other friends, who I gisted and hung with, but we werent that close and like I said, I didn't fancy a posey. Anyways as we neared the end of school, I realised she was just as shallow as the rest of them *sigh* what a farce!

University, I was like 'ok breath of fresh air, maybe I would meet this person' Hmm..though I met her but my joy was short-lived. She left the school very early and I just couldn't bother at all. I didn't want someone who was everyone's friend, I didn't want someone who had one or more appendages. I wanted a lone figure, someone as crazy as I was. weird and all that jazz. Didn't exist

I'm not looking for that 'one' friend anymore cause i realise while she may exist for some, she necessarily may not exist in my path. It would be great if i meet her someday, but i'm generally done looking.
Cause I think I may have found her, but she is far away....

Sticking with PDP

I have decided to adhere to my PDP, no not the political party.. my Personal Development Plan. It is part of my New year resolution, actually its taking the resolutions one step further and i have the major ones outlined. Under each of them, i will reflect on the past week, the things i did and score myself pass/fail and then decide how to make things right!

Communicating Effectively

The way i want to achieve this is to listen more to what people have to say, pay attention to briefings and guide my mind from drifting too far way. On my course, i would say i moved a step up in school but home was a disaster, So far just under a few days, i have suffered some setbacks. There was a huge misunderstanding in my house, i have no idea where it came from, and sadly i have lost all communication signals..not all, some really.lol. I don't know how to salvage this situation..really. i give my self a FAIL on this even though i did communicate better with course mates and my friends (one amidst tears, i'm such a crybaby sometimes!)

Discarding Negative habits
I am a late sleeper and that leads to my waking up late in the morning, which i really cant have anymore. I need to be up by at the least, 7am every morning, i try to target 6, because i tend to snooze even after the alarm has gone off. Also, i am giving up on procrastination little by little, i was about to postpone writing this post..but i told myself i must get it done now and here i am! I definitely passed on this! i never got to school late last week, i also turned in my portfolio of practice on time! PASS. This week, i hope to keep up and also identify any other bad habit and deal with it appropriately!


Writing Better
This is definitely a FAIL, i am sad about it, the way to achieve this objective is to write something everyday on a particular topic and read some literature, and i failed WHOLLY last week. This week, i intend to do it!

Working Harder

This is a work in progress and yes, PASS on this. The new project for this semester is one that is really interesting and last week, i was assigned specific tasks which i took up with ZEAL, i even managed to teach some course mates all the techie stuff, hehe. This week, i will do my best! ^_^

Ignoring Naysayers
I have always been good at this..i tell myself, but there is a certain limit on a humans' soul. Anyways, there were moments last week where i felt like "???" completely clueless. Like..what am i doing, i remember walking through a group of my course mates who had been chatting and as i walk pass, its all quiet like you could hear the crickets..heehee. I realized i really don't have issues with people... i really don't, i just like the simple life and many seem to have issues with that. I'm grateful for the tiny bunch of friends i have..its not like they are pumping positive words and flattery down my ears, there is a honest advice and encouragment which such friends give and you are ready to become a better person even just for their sakes. PASS for last week, this week will surely be better!

Get Involved!
My friend says he worries about me, cos i dont seem to have much of a social life! lol, i don't know, i cant say i really want to go out there meeting lots of people, its not just me. Anyways this week, i resolved to be involved as much as possible, yup a PASS! I attended quite a number of lectures on Design and Design thinking, it was definitely rich and worth the time, my mind was overclocking and a bit bogged.lol. I was also to attend the Haiti fund raiser yesterday which i missed, so sad about it. I also signed up for dog-walking (You know how much i love dogs :)). A non profit activity to help Seniors walk their dogs. i intend to continue next week, and its even diversity week at my school! i should have lots to do and lots to blog about ^_^

Show Creativity

I want to achieve this objective by illustrating everyday, by learning more about the Theories and Practice of design, also to write down my ideas, an idea everyday. I did illustrate this week, but it wasn't everyday and i also didn't write my ideas down. Even though i did learn more about Design..i give myself a FAIL on this and will work harder this week, to give myself a pass at the end.

Not bad for my first week, can't wait to see what the 'morrow would bring, can you?

Pandora's Box.

So i finally turned in the essay, i didn't realise i was late for submission and my paper was set aside for a markdown, luckily the letter to the PG office explaining myself (i was two hours late)got through to them and they let me off, thank GOD!

In one of our sessions, the lecturer BJ, talked about how many people are happy to just live life on the go, whatever comes, they just go with the flow and still turn up genuinely happy. While people like me, who would question everything will never get satisfied that way.

While i wrote the essay, lots of things began to turn up, its not honestly to do an analysis on yourself, there are lots pushed deep down, things you are afraid to touch and like my fellow Geordie would say 'Ah canna toich it'

One part of the essay was to make a summary of our strengths and weaknesses, this is how mine turned out.

The main strengths I have identified include, Creativity, Innovative tendencies in the view of work, the ability to generate original ideas proves really useful for my career development. We live in a world that is fast-changing and its been proven over and over that the ability to come up with something new, a design that works, makes the difference. I have a curiosity to learn and try out new things, I will always question the old, so that I can move on to the new. Another strength of mine, is my ability to keep promises and honour commitment. Every organization could use a honest person, someone whose word you can have as gold, integrity. I am a very tenacious person, against the odds I try to do things to the best of my ability, there's also dedication. If there's a project or work to be done, I stick to that one thing (the theorist in me) and will not rest until it has ended, finished, basically done with.
Others include , being a good listener, I readily lend a ear because of my high tendency for empathy. I love being helpful and enjoying teaching others, being able to meet deadlines, caring about people. I am actually easy to talk to, people are surprised but I make people at ease. I have a great sense of humour, my house-mates complain I laugh too much, but then they complain about almost everything.

The weaknesses that I have identified are not being able to communicate my thoughts, to communicate feedback effectively, also the tendency of being a perfectionist, expecting too much of others, questioning people's motives, getting annoyed easily, being impatient, wanting to work at a faster pace than my team-mates, and when at home I begin to procrastinate. I could also be very lazy, lack drive and slip into my comfort zone. I tend to start things and end up not finishing because I never get satisfied, there's always something to add or take away.

I have two very sharp contrasting sides, I am dreamy yet logical, a carefree worrier , it confuses me a lot and could end up becoming a hindrance to proper career development. I do not like asking people for feedback on me, I tend to avoid people because I hate conflicts. Careers are built on relationships with people and if I do not work on these weaknesses, there is no way my career will develop the way I really want.

Self-analysis is a continous process, and one other task in this assignment was to draw up a personal development plan which covers a certain period of time. I want to ease some of my weakness, work on them and be a better person each day in this period. Some of the things i have put down, are to make a log in my school portfolio blog, each week to measure my progress, success or fail. If i don't set myself straight no one else could :)

Confuzzled

Awake, still thinking of how to get this essay together
Discovered new music today,
Above and Beyond, a British Trance group
I really like. :))

Awake, and this won't write itself,
I have always found it easy getting into someoneelses'
'mind' and still be fluent about it,
But when it comes to mine, I am stuck, so stuck, so stuck, so stuck.

Know Thy Self

I've got this course, that is probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life as a student. The course is called Developing the Inter-disciplinary self, it is so...honestly I never thought I would feel so burdened. I also have a 3000 word essay to complete and submit on Tuesday the 12th...I haven't finished with 1000 words. It seems daunting and I know what to do.

The essay is all about analyzing my self and why self-analysis is important and I have to use various tools and books to make the body of work a whole.

It seems pretty interesting but its extremely difficult. i am writing this blog post to give me a clear head, to help me organize my thoughts and put them down in writing..

I will finish up by Tuesday, but I want to finish good.

Self analysis and continuous self development is a task which must be approached with all honesty and it must not be taken as a ride. it is extremely important for personal growth. we can't run away from ourselves therefore we must know it.

LAST LECTURE

Today I had my last lecture for the semester..yay!!, how relieving

It was a lecture by one my favorite lecturers

course: Satellite communications

Anyways, the day started out somehow, I hadn't gotten much sleep
due to the conditions i faced on my body
then I forgot my assignment in my room, which is on the fourth floor
had to climb back up..aww arrgh!
Then i made sure i submitted ooh, cos the lecturer even forgot to ask
I was so happy!

After the lecture, I went to the cafeteria
got food and a bottle of maltina, marched down to my hall
Alas!
NEPA/PHCN/Generator was out, no 'light!'
Shoot!, took out my laptop, atlist I still had battery time

Thought about the whole semester and to think it would end tomorow
WWooww, cnt wait to be gone! yayayay!!!!

University!

Woosh!

This is my first post!

I remember when i first entered Uni

filled with hope and promise

i can tell u after the first three weeks i began to doubt it heavily.

Thank God, im in 500 level now!

Studying a course i would never have signed up for

and its not even easy being in ******** University

sometimes i wonder if its even worth it!

Lots of stuff that happens to make u go crazzy!!

Anyways, i cnt say something positive hasnt bin deposited in me o

Next year, i will be graduating and it will be the best thing!


I hope i aint too dry!

lol. i love laffing

its one of the things that has kept me goin
enjoy!

n i will keep u posted on tha happenings in my school