Recent Posts

Monday, February 27, 2012

End of February Blues

Dear K,

I hope you are ok, I'm a right mess. Ok, not really but my last two weeks have been pretty rough. From Anxieties to Stress, I'd been anxious over my health you know. I went to see a therapists, who tested the muscles all over my body, I was scared for a bit, a man do ing all these stuff, in his room..anything could have happened. I'm really glad I still managed to go for the Weekend Away at Ascot with my bible study group. It was refreshing and a great reminder that I should cast all my cares on God. 'Why be anxious about anything' Jesus said.

After it all, getting back to work was not I got my test results also and they were normal! weight lifted off. My older sister came in and I saw her off this last weekend, after a whole day of walking up and down in the West-End my legs hurt! Finally got those Uggs, now I can see what the fuss is all about. My Sunday was chill, I was home alone, ordered waffles and ice-cream, I really lived it up lol.

Anyways, I was at my Uncle's because my sister was staying there, when I got home Saturday night, my Landlady told me I had flowers waiting for me, I was like Who, Who? I was so surprised, I couldn't imagine who. I thought, what if W had sent them? My Landlady asked, do you know who sent them? I was like 'Not yet, I have to ask' 'All these guys' she quipped. In my mind, I thought 'yeah right'
So there, the first ever flowers I've gotten from a guy. There was a note attached, which made me guess even more that it was W.

Yeah, I and W, we've gone our ways. It's so hard to be in a LDR, I think it's one of such things that added to my stress. A relationship that barely even started. You know he went on a 'break' this month, and even while I was looking forward to the end of the break, when we got to speak, the reality dawned on me, that there was no use. Things have to move beyond this situation of being oceans apart, not communicating frequently or doing stuff together *sigh*, there was no solution so it all had to come to an end. We are still friends ofcourse, but I'm going to have to stop seeing him in that light. It's not easy, but better now than later.
I will update you as things go by. So far this is where we are at. I leave you with a picture of the flowers, so lovely. I know I owe you a picture of my hair, will do in my next letter.

Bye Bye for now.


Monday, February 13, 2012

Panic Room

Dear K,

How are you doing. I am sure you are in pain just as I am. Whitney Houston..unbelievable. I was still awake when I saw the news stream through my twitter feed. I had to double check my brain, there is no one else with that same name that I knew. Devastating. What's even worse is you can't begin to imagine what the family is going through. 

All what I was going to write to you about seems so insignificant now. Let's talk about life and what's more important. Last week, I've been having some issues and I did go see the doctor, currently expecting results. And then on Sunday, after managing to get some sleep after seeing the sad news, I woke up with a massive headache. It seemed like my brain had turned to stone, just awful. I still managed to get down to church, had a chat with a number of people, then headed to my Uncle's house for his birthday. The atmosphere in this house is always really warm and cosy but for some reason I was still as cold as ice. My headache was getting worse and my temperature started climbing. It was while I was lying in bed later, medicated, after having a panic attack, that I could see how the day came together.

My landlady and family traveled Sunday Morning. The trains were not running from my station and I wanted to go to church, normally I wouldn't have gone. Then it being my Uncles birthday meant I had to go to their house plus my sister was flying in otherwise I wouldn't have gone out.
Now, What if I had to be home alone, with everything coming down on me. I would have had to go to A & E and only God knows what would have happened to me. 
Whitney's issue, My issue, once again solidifying the fact that we humans are NOT meant to be alone. We can have our privacy but to be alone, is just not right.

I got lots of help yesterday and I am just so glad to have such people around me. My sister and I talked around my thing with our mum. I really can't pinpoint why our relationship is so strained, but I will definitely put more effort into keeping in touch, my sister says she will be around sometime soon, I think that'd be wonderful.

I hope you are doing great. I just want you to know that I will always be there for you, as much as my capabilities can go.

Yours Always,


Monday, February 6, 2012

The Weeknd

Dear K,
How have you been? You asked about my weekend, well it was Chill. That's the word that really seems to fit everything this weekend. I woke up on Saturday with some sniffing, I didn't do my usual, 12am. I woke up about 9am, I really wanted to get productive. I had a shower and began to arrange my room, you know it's never really a disaster but I like things a bit more tidy. I thought about the next week, I punished myself for that, weekend is for rest. 
After breakfast of scrambled eggs, Nigerian style, remember? With peppers, curry, maggi..except I had no maggi but it tasted really nice. I ate it with bread and butter then I started to think of what to do with my hair, you see I loosened it from my braids on Friday night and it's grown so much, I can't stop touching it. Anyways I opened two new packs of kinky hair and began to twist my hair I wish I did't start because it wasn't worth the effort, I loosened them on Sunday morning. 
For the rest of Saturday, I did laundry and really cleared up my room, I was satisfied, I even managed to hang up that painting I bought, two for a Fiver lol! with Blue Tack. My landlady told me later that evening, it was going to snow. She and her family were so excited, I thought, perhaps white folk don't feel white until it snows. Snow? I had given up on it anyway. Really, I was not ready for it at all, so when I peeked outside my bedroom bay windows and saw the white landscape, mixed emotions welled up in me. It seemed like that guy you waited for all your life and then when you finally let go, he comes back and declares love but the glad thing is, soon after, you realise that while he's pretty to look at, in minutes he would turn icy and could kill you. No my dear K, snow is not for me. 
One good thing though, I got to chat with C, she's somewhere in North America, great gal, it was wonderful catching up. I listened to a sermon from the church on Trust, it really got to me, you know how I Did I tell you I'm now a Quora addict? Hehe. 

 Sunday! I woke up with promise then I found out the trains from my station were not running, yikes! there goes my shopping. Got breakfast as usual, I'm trying to eat on time these days but I had it at 12pm! Still I was determined to have a good day. I got to watch the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie I couldn't love Maggie Smith more and The Lion King! I Recorded it this time, I was overjoyed plus did I tell you I saw it at the Lyceum Theatre, Christmas Time? it was Amazing!!! We have to go see it together. Later I did some laundry and concentrated on my hair and oh yes I made some mean rice mix with that roast chicken from Tesco, I tell you this store is the devil. By the end of the day I'd made good enough progress with my hair, I'll send u a picture when I'm completely done, for now enjoy my winter picture!.

Hello There

It's a new month, an old year and what not. Not much is going on in my life, but I'm extremely grateful for the bit that is. I want to lend my talents to much more because I do feel im under utilizing my time. Lots of projects I've started have gone no where mostly because I think I have no support, but I've found out the reality of that. I'm happier that I'm being able to affect peoples lives directly as they affect mine. Anyways, I want to start a new way of writing my blog since I've been highly uninspired recently. I would blog by writing a letter to my friend, K. I've always loved K names since I can remember, but it does partially lend itself to one of those I first ever remember calling a friend.