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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

This Dating Business

I never understood the thing, and I am just starting to realize why. Sure, I have been on dates, many. With Black guys, White guys, Asian guys. Picnics, formal dinners. I enjoy it sometimes, dates that involve food are the trickiest, because I'm not very good at controlling a fork and a knife, at the same time. I enjoy being with guys, chatting and just generally going about. So why haven't I ever had a boyfriend? (apart from hating the term so much)

I remember when I was about 16 and a friend of mine sent an email to me about 'liking, loving' I was furious, he even ended up in my uni which was just weird, we never clicked again. I was always fascinated by people who turn up one day, and everyone is like they are dating. I wondered, who asked whom, how does the guy ask? when does he ask?, what does he say? will you be my girlfriend?. I got a dose of that soon enough and what a weird thing it was. I asked a friend who came again with 'liking, loving' I was in my 20s now. I asked, 'What will change?' He had said to me, 'of course I want to date you' and I just left with thinking, what would that mean? apart from hanging out as per usual, do I now have to kiss the guy and have sex? is that what dating is about? 

When I became close to a particular guy, I would watch him asleep in my bed and would think, it is appealing to 'own' someone, it is such a high that this one person in the whole wide world wants to be with just you...and also that you've got this one person you can be anything to but isn't that what a marriage is? How do you go back from 'owning' a person to seeing someone else over them, that hurts! Dating is neither here or there, but the stakes are still high! Crazy! it's Limbo.

I told someone recently who had asked about the alternative to dating. I replied 'none' Friendship is enough. If you have friends, I'm talking about real friends in the true sense of the word, and the guy decides to apply for a visa out of the friend zone and deep down you really like him as well, what is dating going to add? If you can't sit with your friend and discuss important decisions of life, who else?

Friend zone is the best zone in life. 


lawwyy said...

Merry Christmas friend :)