The Heavy Weight

I couldn’t think of any other way to do it. It’s been spinning around my head for weeks, driving me crazy.
The most important decisions always cripple me in the making. I felt like I couldn’t move. It was only the unbearable weight of the decision that forced me to make it in the end. It’s the only way I could start moving again.

I couldn’t stand it. I was going to sleep at night thinking about it, lying
there in the morning thinking about it, trying to find things to distract me and snatch back a few moments from it during the day, and always worrying I was wearing my heart on my sleeve too much and you would start to wonder what was going on.

I probably could have done it in a better way when it came to it. Probably sooner would have been good for both of us.

I don’t think I’ll know if I’ve made the right decision for a long time, especially with something this big.
I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. But I feel better. Lighter.