Naked

''All we ever want is, to look good naked, and hope that someone would take it..''

I am not an advocate for nakedness, heck, put your clothes on, my friend! Anything that tends towards looking naked, you won''t find me in..no except I have the body of errm eerm..but i digress.

I loved this song the first time i heard it, while those around me debated hotly on what the song really was saying. it didn't matter to me. Only recently did something from this song hit me. 

We all, really want to look good naked, most of us..I must say. We want to be accepted for every mark, wart, mole, bump, flaw that may seem unattractive. Its about being vulnerable...being yourself completely and hoping someone wouldn't take it for granted.

I'm yet to find someone to whom, this doesn't apply. Even for me, i love being clothed, you can't know whats underneath, if i have the body of a thirteen year old boy or a young lady. until i open myself open, until we open ourslves up.

One question i'd ask is, what does it matter really?...I realise that at the end of the day, no matter how stoic believe me, i'm not exactly happy with this.lol but no matter how stubborn or how many shells we've built around ourselves. we want someone who would see beyond all that, someone who would go underneath, see it all and still, take us for who we are. wy? because we are who we are, we will never ever ever be someonelse... if in doubt... Ask Hitler :)

Unblogged

A lot has happened these past days that remained unblogged..i'm really struggling with this blog thing :(.

Anyway, i have been;

 sad,

depressed, 

drained, 

sick, 

ill, 

crazy, 

mad, 

angry,

anxious,

happy.

But i have decided to let it all go, if i do remember something that stood out from these past days i will be sure to blog about it, but for now....

KMT yesterday!!! :D

Hair!!

I know the last time i measured it, it was 6inches, i couldn't really tell how long it was 6inches for but seeing the growth vividly makes me happy! i will keep wearing my braids but let my hair rest for about two weeks bbefore putting the braids in again

February 12 2010

May 15 2010

Musings on Marriage, Life and things.

I attended a Child protection seminar today, and this along with a couple of questions, i had asked myself earlier began to come to take some shape. I had pondered, what exactly are people concerned about A man getting married to a 13yr old girl.

I can vividly remember when i was 13, i was almost S.abused, but i was 'aware' still i cannot transpose my experiences on any other person. But my main concerns with someone marrying a 13 yr would be if its forced, but that is not unique to a 13yr old, so what is unique about a 13yr olds situation?

A Child, some would say..a child at 13? we may try to pretend but we know there's no innocence at 13, not in our world of today. Maybe in a society where people are raised in caves, even then!

Emotional Maturity....What is this? how is it measured??

Physical Maturity....this varies from person to person, as a thirteen year old i was just a stick figure, akin to a praying mantis, but i looked over at the other grass, ooh i had mates who had the shape of 18yr olds, heck i couldn't believe they were in my age range! even now that i moved just an inch away from my stick figure likeness, I still wonder, what physical maturity means.

Dynamics of Marriage...lol this looks like a book Faith Oyedepo would write, that's if she doesn't already have one in peoples homes.

OOh well, I've exhausted my though span for now, but no one should misconstrue my approach. I really don'think 13 yr olds should be getting but that's just my opinion not a life fact. I also dont think people should be kissing, but hey its MHO.

The past few Days...

Its been a looooooong minute!, its always amazing how, a few days make so much difference in one's life. Through out the weekend i was focused on getting one of my essays out, which i turned in on Monday. So the weekend was a bit of a blur, except when i went with my Zimbabwean friend, Brenda to a Mary Kay event where we got free gifts, and then decided with the change on us to get some Chinese food. We ended up walking back home, and eating the food on the way, it was tres funny and fun!

Along the way we met one of our mutual friends, a guy who had recently just gotten back from the hospital where he was admitted because he had been beaten by random people one fateful night, it gave me the chills. Obviously hate-inspired, oour damm world!

 ****Breathe****

Monday was one of my friends birthday, and guess what! she planned to go to Whitley Bay! Whitley Bay i had gone to for the first time the last week on a project. I was way too surprised! anyways, she wanted us to go ice-skating. After a long day at school, and stopping for seconds to see a spectacle in the city center, i went home. Only to get my house mate saying someone she had met at church, a Nigerian guy had invited us to a dinner, where He would be cooking!! Mehh, hard decisions, man! Friend Vs New Guy, Free Food Vs Cake, Ice-Skating Vs Warm getogether.... Well of course you have to weigh your priorities. Amd i reckon, one celebrates a birthday only once in a year..so..lol

It was great fun!! yeah i'd never been on the ice before, butt for a beginner, i really did well, if i say so myself :D, pictures yay!

Tuesday, was just a tension filled day, we had to get our presentation and pdf together, i left school the latest i've ever done. I was just so spazzed out.

Wednesday!! everyone was geared up and ready to go, not before one of our ash struck coursemate, Alisha, gave out little presents, it was so cute! and then she gave me a special one, because i had helped her submit her assignments while she was still stuck...i would never have expected the gesture in a million years, plus she had given me a token for what i had spent even if i brushed it off.

Presentations went well, albeit some slight blimps here and there, but overall everyone was upbeat and it just kind of flowed. After we went for Post- Celebration Celebrations!! lol (inside joke.hehe), had a pint and headed home, Great day overall.

Here i am, had to blog, but i really should go sleep now though, no break for long between projects so i have to be in at 9:30 to get on, great times ahead! ;D

In the pockets

''I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold

I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good''

I like this song, i really do, but nahh, i dont believe Happiness should be pursued, i mean who has actually managed to catch it. If you think you'll be fine when you get 'it' pursue on!

Someone asked me quite recently 'What are you looking for', 'Nothing' i replied. The person thought that was a very strange answer but then again considered the originator.lol. By now it's established that i don't believe in a pursuit of happiness.

Someone else argued, 'So does this mean we should live life, without goals or ambitions?' i said no, then why would we be living? We tend to forget that we don't just live for ourselves but everyone we will affect in some form. But when you transpose happiness on the goal or ambition exclusively, then you have a problem there. It is about the process, someone else would say and i'm inclined to agree to that.

Happiness is in the pockets, the little things we overlook. I know one of the happiest places to be for me, is under the shower..alone. I'm a water girl ;) (no mamiwater o) I'm not trying to pursue happiness, yes i know certain things make me happy, but i embrace what is obtainable at the moment. I don't think anyone should cheat themselves out of the life and the things they have NOW, instead of trying to pursue a mirage.

In the pockets, my dear people, in the pockets.

Finally Gone.

Our President, Umaru YarAdua, dead at 58. There wasn't much this man did for the country i firmly believe, but when it comes down to it, a president is still a man, a human being. It saddens me when i see young people die, when i see sickness consume a life.

 I believe this man had a good heart, but was saddled with the wrong people around him. This was someone that would probably have never ran for president. I feel sad, i never liked the jokes that were coined from his name and what not, i remember someone actually ejecting me off their friend list because i stood against stuff like that. Now, He is dead, He is dead.

I am happy he can finally rest now, i can't imagine the anguish he would have gone through. Even if he just died now or months back, there is no doubt he suffered extreme pain, both from his ailment and the burden of evil around him.

Now we move on, I am proudly Nigerian, and i want my country great. The next step is to give the reins to the right person. Somehow, i hope this goes well, but now in this moment, R.I.P YarAdua.

Holiday

So I have one essay off my chest, still have two to get down to. I'm seriously dreading the presentations and i don't know what to do about that. I'm sitting here, feeling so lazy, don't know what to do about that. I want to sleep, but I can't, I want to eat but I can't, I don't know what to do about that.

Good Intentions

Frankly, i am tired of having good intentions without following through, its so easy to think about stuff to do, what about actually doing them?
I am revamping myself this semester, these remaining months would be the 'Just Do it'
Doing stuff, whether with a good outcome or not makes me feel alive, I have recently come to realise...