Laugh-Ready

Woww! I love laughing o!
its even gotten me into trouble
I love a good joke anytime
So guys who make me laugh
as in , not that i laugh at 'em
I laugh at their 'jokes'
I will always be drawn to ;))


In Sec Sch, SS2 at good 'ol Navy
I was asked to clean the blackboard
I started laughing my ass off
Teacher gets annoyed , asks me to sit in the midst of some guys
ooh i hated that so much and i just couldn't stop laughing
people were saying, they must be sharing laughing gas in my village-how ridiculous.lol

In University, year one
i had to sit directly in front of the class, i didnt have my glasses
so there was no point attending class if i couldnt see the white board
So i ended up giggling with my friend who was apt at keep a straight face
but me, no way!
one particular lecturer, a maths lecturer was so annoyed and he sent me out of the class once
to cut dis long tori short,
i was summoned to the Dean of Student affairs, who asked his sec to type my Letter of Warning
but he warned me himself and fashied the letter, yay!
As for my lecturer, folks in class insinuated that he liked me, that was why he was always disturbing me, so i got a D in that maths course, and he left our school the next semester
sad eh!

I love comedies, comedy shows, stand up comedies, Nigerian, Foreign
as long as the jokes dey funny oh!, sarcastic o!
i go laff!
hehe heh ehe

my fav comedians are
i go die/save
Basket mouth
Gordon

and lots of funny Americans like
Aries Spears
Ron white
Chris Rock
Dave Chappelle
Wanda Skyes
Russell Peters

Laughter is surely a great medicine
My people, Laugh on!

Valentine, Guys and I

Vals day has had no meaning to me
since i grew up with the thought that it was a 'lovers' day
and i am in no hurry to have a lover

I have never had a boyfriend, i have never been valed
i dont even like collecting gifts, is that a valid excuse?lol

Pre-vals,
This is the day before Vals, Vals eve as it is also called, the girl prepares her mind for what the guy is gonna unleash!
Cakes
Teddies
Chocolates
Perfumes
Plastic Flowers. ....
it hardly passes all these things o

Those wey go roast don already know themselves, he he heh

Vals Day
Well the day just comes and goes like anyother, sometimes i have exams on that day
this time around it was like people had given up on vals, it was sooo dry
chai! i managed to chop only one cake!
The guy who is supposed to do the honorable thing for me, gave some excuses, its all good jo!
the day is gooooone!

Post-Vals, what happens now?
the guy checks his account balance, hoping he can still survive till Daddy tops him up or Payday finally comes!
The girl evaluates the relationship based on the quality of gifts she recieves.lol

Wo!, me i just want something sweet to eat
that cant be too hard to get
Where is this Cakes n creams number sef?

New NEw

I will be starting three series on my life so far;

1, The way i are, which would be about me, things i like, things i dislike, things im passionate about, things that fascinate me and so on
2, When we were Young, this is gona be about all things in general that i remmeber when i was young.lol
3, Life in Communal splendor, it will gather up stories on life through a boarding secondary school to a boarding university

Life has been great, funny, terrible, cool, just wanna share it
Have fun!

The Day of Random things

I was leaving my school on Saturday for the island, I was just thinking of how jammed Lagos was

I definitely didn’t miss all the hustle, bustle, headache inducing sights and sounds.

We were caught in a traffic jam on Idiroko road, just then i saw a monkey on a truck, it was such a sight, I almost snatched the phone outta my friends hand, to take a pic, but by the time he had finished the call, the truck had gone past us.

We continued on our journey down to the island, I was thinking of helicopters, how wish canaanland had a helipad or something, this stress is too mussssh!

All of a sudden I began to notice the antennas on cars, it was like I was seeing it for the first time, it seemed so strange, just like how cars seem somehow strange to me, chairs on wheels

Just as we got to Jibowu, I saw a girl walking along the road on the driver’s side of the car, I could have just turned my face away but as the girl turned my way, my eyes opened wide in surprise.  oh my days I started to shout, the girl was on my last flight to Lagos from Abuja on Arik, she was one of the air hostesses, this is just too randooom! i almost wound down the window just to get her attention. It wasn't a case of look alike, she was the person! this world is small and funny meenn!

After that passed sha, I was telling my friend how I heard Olu maintain had to return his hummer, all of a sudden the next song on the radio was Yahoozee, we just turned to each other and started to laugh, aaaaah! Ya hoo zeeyy Na who dey there

when last did you play something from a radio cassette? i was too surprised to see my friend actual remove one from his car radio

On the ikoyi bridge, my friends 'trafficking light' in front had come out, some good samaritan in an Outlander signaled to us, the man actually stopped for us, some people are just nice like that, its cool!

Then as we got to the island, I decided to check up a guy I had been chatting with, said he worked at the bridge clinic on tiamiyu savage, hmm safe enough I thought since it was on my way home, i asked my friend to just stop for a few minutes. i went in to ask after him, and i heard no one like that worked there, oook oh, I just turned back and left, some people eh!!! Now im extra skeptical of meeting internet people! chai! i had my reservations before , now this?? Naah

O.O

Ikoyi polo club

I was at the Polo club on Tuesday with my sister, my first time there, ok this year is quickly gathering some firsts. lol. Anyways, before we even entered the place, we saw chicksss, saw one with a long tattoo on her hand, aaah. Thats one reason going out to places like this dey tire pesin!
Girls Girls Girls!!, but the game was over, so there were few people around. My sister is a friend to one of the organizers , so we went to see him, there were some police guys around, lemme just say an Entourage. After sitting out for a while we went into the building, because they wanted to have some sort of business meeting.
We were walking with the Entourage and heres comes the paparazzi! How did i know? one of the guys asks the photographer who invited him there, the photographer says he is paparazzi, i had a pretty good laff, Nigeria don reesh here! Paporozzu!

If you see my picshur anywhere, im sure i must have had my mouth open because I was laughing hysterically!

On Bloggers and Me

I'm seriously tired of reading some blogs especially personal ones i don't know if its because of what I am afraid I would find there, I really do not like the anonymousness, I like people being plain and out on issues. The way some people think really scares me sha, Nigerians have really gone far ooooo

When I felt this way i talked to a fellow blogger, gave me some advice
it didn't change alot, but changed the way i see things

I'm just gonna blog, anybody that knows me, their own cup of tea
I'm gonna put things down as i see them, i have nothing to regret in this life

The major problem is, I have so much to blog about, so much stuff i want to write about, i dont like this confusing place im at right now

AAAAAaeeerrgh!

Raped!

When I entered the building, I was sure the flat was on the last floor, should have called her aunty! I thought, anyways I hope they are home. These thoughts went through my mind as I made my way up the stairs. ‘’Aah! these stairs are long o!’’ I said with a sigh of relief as I got to the last floor. I looked at the two opposite doors, now I was not sure which exact flat it was! They both had burglary proof doors, one was padlocked the other was open. I really should have called! Let me just ring and ask. I rang the bell and in about ten seconds, someone was opening it.

” Good afternoon” I said with a faint smile “I’m looking for Ose she is staying with her aunty”.

‘’ok ok’’ the guy said with a little hesitation,” come in and sit down, she’s in the room let me go call her”.

I stepped into the flat and sat down I was just happy that i was going to see Ose again, maybe we will go to Shoprite. Just then, I heard men talking in hushed tones. The next thing, two guys come out, the one who opened the door and a darker guy who looked older. The younger entered into a room I assumed to be the kitchen, the older guy came to sit close to me, that’s when I started getting worried.

” Good afternoon sir” I muttered, quite unsure of what to say next, I have it the other guy suddenly said. My heart skipped a bit and I looked up to see him standing with a matchbox. I turned to look at the one sitting by me; he says calmly “if you shout we will set your hair on fire”,

At that moment, my head already erupts in an inferno; I could just see my future crumbling down. Not today! Not today!! my mind screamed, it was New years day! Not today!!! My mind kept screaming when the reality of what they were going to do dawned on me...

I was devastated, I am mourning the loss of me, which those two guys took in the space of 5mins which continued for about two hours and some minutes, I instantly became numb, I was bleeding, I just wished that I’d bleed to death....How can i go one living with these memories, this scar, NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, this is not my story, I just tried to put myself in the girl’s shoes, but I can’t. I am deeply saddened by the turn of things; this is something I thought about for hours, days and weeks.

Anyways, this is what we heard happened,

My older sister shares a flat with an older woman whom we call our aunty but we have no blood relation to her. The rest of us stay there anytime we are in Lagos and its in Victoria island. Well my aunt’s younger sister had come to stay with her for the hols, we will call her Ose, Ose had just finished secondary school and came down to Lagos from Warri, her friend also had done the same thing, they met up in church on the 30^th and they exchanged addresses.

Ose’s friend decided to pay a visit on New Year’s Day, I really don’t know if Ose and my aunty knew the girl was coming. The girl came to the block to visit around 3pm on that day and left at about 6pm.

Really I have tried playing this scene in my mind over and over, constructing and deconstructing, I don’t know how hot a girl she was, that the first thing that came to these guys mind was rape, how could any sane person see someone for the first time and in secs just think I must rape this girl! ooh! I can’t grasp it at all!

Well, the brother in the room was the older one and they both came out, the younger one went to the kitchen, got a match, they told the girl to keep shut and if she shouted they would burn her braids, they tied her mouth and hand.

The gory ordeal lasted for about 3hrs, the two guys, brothers, I can’t even believe they still managed to wear protection! No sense of human feelings, the girl was just seventeen! After the whole thing, they taunted her and chased her out of the house, she ran down the stairs and out of the compound into the street, she went to the mallam that sells stuff opposite our building, and tried narrating the whole thing to him, she had already started bleeding.

I don’t know how she managed to get to her sisters place, but her sister took her to the hospital, obtained a doctor’s report and they came back early in the morning on the second of January, with police men, looking for the guys. The guys went into hiding at the boys quarters and they even told the security men not to tell the police where they were, the older brother was apparently a big boy, he had a spanking ride and worked in an oil company, he went as far as to tell the security at his company to tell any policeman looking for him that there was no Chris working in that office.

It was amidst this commotion in our compound that my aunty even got to know what happened, she was devastated, Ose was out of her mind, the girl i just feel for her, such pain, such scar, on a day no one in this world forgets, January 1^st.

Throughout that day, the guys were nowhere to be found, their flat was heavily locked. These are guys who never lacked chicks in their house , I have seen with my two eyes quite a number trooping in and out of their flat, we always used to wonder who the guys were, if we saw them on the stair case, it was a very cold greeting we gave or none at all!

This was so unbelievable. Well my aunty called my sister all the way in SA and she was ready to jump from SA all the way back to Naija! I don’t know how to describe our emotions; My immediate older sister was in the flat, my aunty, her sister and two of our cousins, they were keeping watch trying to look out for the guys. We in SA were calling them back and forth trying to get updates.

The breakthrough came that same day, the 2^nd of Jan when one of my cousin’s was in the kitchen washing plates and looking out of the window for the guys, she saw the older guys car parked outside the compound at about 9pm, the gates were open, this was very strange. She peeped out of the door and saw the guys packing stuff from their house trying to sneak out, she told the rest of the household, they flew down the stairs and pounced on the guys, my sister was very vicious slapping the guys heads and all,

The guys had some friend there, those ones were shouting and saying there was no case, this and that! Apparently the guys had told their friends lies, when the police, the girl and her sister came that night, they all began to confess. The police arrested them! What a relief !

But the surprising thing now is that the girl’s parents have decided not to press charges, I can’t imagine this. I know jailing the guys won’t cause the events to be reversed, but i believe they should be taught a lesson because we learnt that they had raped other girls before right there in that house. However, nobody was concerned because the girls followed them to their house. I’m really pained about this, but I know forgiveness is better than resentment or hatred.

All I pray about in all this is for God to comfort her, so she does not end up hating guys, turning lesbian, promiscuous or even frigid. It is a very hard experience and I pray for strength for her. For the guys they have to go for deliverance!

Why is rape such an understated crime? It’s extremely horrible, nerve shattering and could lead to death! Why is this so downplayed in Nigeria! No one wants to even talk about it.

When I read some peoples blogs and stories, my heart breaks, I cant imagine people have gone these sort of things in huge numbers, My own personal experience on this is zilch, I only thank God for His grace, He has a plan for our life that’s what I firmly believe

My heart goes out to anyone that has experienced such abuse. I really can’t understand how it must have felt. I do know one thing that if you would just try to open your heart and allow Gods love fill you, it may seem like He after all allowed it happen, but you would be surprised at the plans He has for you. Let Gods peace flood your life, there’s hope for tomorrow your alive! Let God lift you above it all. There is nothing that can capture or express how much love I have for you guys!

I know one thing for Sure! Jesus loves you!