One Quarter Gone.

Lots of things have happened, from the Euphoria of the New year in January and the submission of my application for **** to the Birthday/Wedding Anniversary of my Parents/Uncle n' Aunt and the positive return of my application in February. March brought along its own share of events. I can only look back and say its been an eventful quarter. I got to go to places I've never been, met new people and a bit of fun here and there. I am not where I projected myself to be going into the new quarter, but I'm glad about the things I've done, and I am still confident in the plan.

Mrs Club pt3 : Is Marriage still Necessary?

Wheew, I'm definitely not getting younger! this year I'm moving into a new age bracket, no pressure yet but its getting realistic. Marriage is a topic which never ends, and looking at the stats, the rate of divorce is very high, some would even say Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..cracks me up. Still, it's not an issue to be ignored, but what does it mean to us, what does it mean to society.

Is it still necessary? 

I've never thought going to a registry, a church or whatever is necessary, but the heart of marriage, which is a life-long commitment is Very Necessary. If we understand this and begin to live in such a capacity, I can only see a better world than what we currently have to shoulder.

I am a Christian and it is only from a Christian perspective that the case for Marriage can be made, I honestly can't see any view-point that satisfies its reason completely. Marriage is grossly anti-self which being Christian is. The nature of our world now pushes the 'me! me! me!' syndrome, the false notion that the world revolves around our individual selves, when infact we are all connected to each other. Pride, this is the main culprit, we delude ourselves into thinking  that there is a divide between being 'single' and married. Nobody is really single, every of our actions affect others. In the context of this topic, you are just unmarried. 

Marriage requires partners who are willing to submit to each other, a self-sacrificing kind of love. If this doesn’t exist, it doesn’t matter how many documents you have signed or how many pastors or wedding ceremonies you have held, you are living a sham, and you can only fool others not yourself. Marriage ought to be a picture of what Love really is, of the kind of Love God has for us. You can't be in a Marriage, where you truly Love and this is not reflected in the way you treat others, impossible. Marriage should be a learning ground, not a battlefield.

Marriage is a great thing, I don’t intend to have any wedding ceremony or register anything (except he wants to, we’ll negotiate.lol) but I would like to have a life-long commitment with someone. It is not the best thing in life, it is not a do or damned thing but it is a very good thing.

I am still Clay

A friend lost her mum today, just like that. She had a headache the night before, Sunday morning, no more. Time ceased to exist for her. It is a sad day, it hurts, watching someone suffer, hurts as much. Sometimes we just forget how fickle life is, here today, gone tomorrow. We forget that the important things in this life are given to us FREE. You didn't do anything to gain the breath you breath, you were born with blood moving all over your body. you never paid for that. 

We look at each other, and take ourselves for granted. O Human beings, why are we so blind, so corrupted by our foolish pride. We ought to look at eachother with reverence, hold each other like precious china, 'Handle with Care' 'Fragile'. Paul in his letter to the Christians at Philippi said, ' Work out your salvation with Fear and Trembling' Treat people with respect, with reverence, put your foolish pride aside, be responsible for others, we should be afraid to harm others.

Creation groans, we groan, I groan, there's so much pain in the world. Many times I forget this simple, little part I ought to play and I think of things on a grand-scale. A simple 'thank you' 'Sorry' 'Can I get a glass of water for you' are some of the things that matter the most.

All in all, I really do reflect on the way I've lived, I hold life more preciously than I've ever done in my entire life. With everything I want to achieve or that I see people achieve, events like this still remind me of certain truths. it doesn't matter what heights you reach and how low you go, we are all equal, we are all on the same level, We are all clay.

Back to the Future

I doubt I will ever understand the turning of clocks forward and backward, but hey life goes on! I made sure I stayed awake for the turn this time, I watched my computer's clock change from 12:59am to 2:00am. This actually made me laugh. We keep shouting no time, there's time, some time, time! time! time! When time is just a human construct that tries to measure the immeasurable. Someone said ''To realize the unimportance of time is the gate to wisdom.'' I believe it now.

''Time is always relative.... For the terminally ill, six months are a lifetime, and not a very long one. To a three-year-old waiting for Christmas, it's an eternity so distant it's not even worth thinking about''

JOHN SAUL, Midnight Voices

Nigerians and Grammar

Sometimes I wonder why Nigerians strive for the best in English grammar more so than even the English. People are always correcting you on what comma you didn't type or how you put a present past participle instead of a continuous present. We Love Grammar. 

I also realized that Nigerians tend to speak the best words when they are angry.  Of all the times!! 'What an impertinent arrogant fellow!, 'How preposterous! the audacity!' its really amazing.

Our politicians are not left out. every single time on the news headlines, when someone is quoted its never far from, ''Adeoti will soon meet his waterloo'' 

Debates have been going on back and forth, and honestly I can't see the point of it they just want to 'blow grammar' and its sad to think that Nigerians are going to vote for people who 'know grammar pass'. All the debates na just grammar to me, that's not what we need in Nigeria, the British already brought Grammar, bring Light.

Onyeka!

Totally Lit me up today.

This woman could sing!

Onyeka Onwenu

My CNN Days

I remember those days when we had just moved to the new Duplex, right in front of the hills. The area was still 'new' if you compared it to the rest of the city. We were surrounded by vegetation, my dad even carved a small garden out, Paw Paw trees, Orange and Guava ruled. Oh did I hate Paw Paw!, I still hate it. As young children, there wasn't much we could do in the area. Unlike the old quarters were we lived which had accessible hills, the ones here were close but unreachable. I had also just begun secondary school, I wanted to do new things.

We had a load of tapes of our favorite cartoons from way back, and we played them to the death. Soon, Cable was installed, but it wasn't stable. Some days all we had were news stations and some others which were straight from the Middle-East. Grudgingly, we had to watch CNN, Fox News, SKY, BBC back to back, if there was no tape or movie to see.

CNN was my favourite, it seemed to offer more of a variety of programmes, and I loved the way they spoke. I would pick up a newspaper and pretend to read like the newscasters, this was always a hit at school. I played with the idea of becoming one, fantasy! 

Summer Holidays, were the longest and I would come home straight from school, It typically lasted from about the end of June to the start of September. I usually resumed late, so make that the end of September!, two weeks less resumption never really hurt! lol. It was during this periods from '96 to '01 that I formed strong bonds with Christiana Amanpour, Wolf Blitzer, Fionnuala Sweeney, Jim Clancy, Terry Baddoo, Rosemary Church, Ralitsa Vassileva, jeff koinange, Femi Oke, Jonathan Mann, Larry King. I watched everything from World News to Sports, Entertainment and Technology programmes. I even memorized the schedule at some point.

I was glad to have CNN to watch, it kept me well informed amongst my peers, I'd always been one step ahead anyways. It was no coincidence that some of the events that shaped the world, I saw unravel first hand. 

Summer of '97 Princess Diana's death, We had played games till late but had to sleep because the next day was sunday, and we had to go to church. But for me, I couldn't sleep for a while so I got up and went to check what was on. 'Princess Diana, Car crashed!' Oh my days! I couldn't believe it as I saw the mangled car. Unbelievable!

'98 - '99 The next major event was Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky affair, which I followed closely. I will never forget Bill's speech 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' even I knew He was lying.

Summer of '99, JFK jr's plane went down. I had only watched them hours ago, and now the plane was missing. I had thought of how stylish Carolyn, his wife was. And what a nice couple they seemed to be. Sad.

Summer of '01 Aaliyah was dead! In a car crash and a day before my birthday, Who didn't know Aaliyah, wow! terrible. She was 22, I was going to be 15.

Summer/Fall of '01 9/11 as it is remembered, I was just changing channels, because it seemed like a slow news day, nothing was happening. Next thing I got to BBC and saw one of the WTC towers smoking, I was just thinking how unfortunate, the plane slamming into the tower, and it was Live with the cameras pointed on the building. Next thing I knew another plane just slams into the next, OH MY GOD the video man screamed and the video became shaky with people running towards and away from the building. I was doubly stunned. Oh my God! I thought is this a movie, is this real?? 

Soon after, a couple of things changed in the house, I was graduating from secondary school and getting into University the next year. I can't remember what happened to the cable, but it lost an appeal. Given the current events in the world, I found myself getting back into that frame of mind, until someone brings me back to reality with 'Let's watch something else o!' Despite all that, those days were filled with happiness, sadness, gladness, things of a kind I would never forget. I miss my CNN Days.

Many Things in Life are Hard For Me

One thing I forgot to write in my post about Christian music, which I only realized is, how it helps take my eyes off me. I have been on a Kutless spree for the past two days. It was when I was listening to Grace and Love from their Kutless album that it just 'clicked'. This is not about feelings. Many times I don't feel like doing anything that looks remotely 'Christian' but there is this quiet yearning inside that leads me back to what I should be doing. Grace, I read recently is Love to the unresponsive. Most times as Human beings, we have to have people respond to our 'Love' if not we carry our Love and go somewhere else, but the ability to love people that can't even respond..that is outstanding. That God loves me through my rages, through my jealousy, through my laziness, through my corruption, It is amazing!

Kutless - Grace and Love

Many things in life are hard for me 
Many things can pull us down 
I don't understand why I do what I do 
How could I take my eyes off you 
After all You've done for me 
And after all You've done for me 

It's by Your grace and love I am saved 
It's by Your grace and love You've forgiven me, hey 
And by that love and grace, I'm amazed 
It's by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free 

And it's by grace and love that I am free 
I'll live with you eternally 
I thank you Lord that I am free 
I thank you Lord for loving me 
I thank you Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary 
I thank you Lord for loving me 
I thank you Lord for dying for me 

Because it's by grace and love I am saved 
It's by Your grace and love You've forgiven me, hey 
And by that love and grace, I'm amazed 
It's by Your grace and love I am free 
I am free 

Many things in life are hard for me 
But by grace and love You've forgiven me 
And by grace and love we are free

Sumptuous Saturday

I don't have this very often, but I'm glad I know people who try to host a get-together every now and then. I only have about one or two 'friends' in this life, and Its hard trying to hang out normally, because most people tend to bore me if the purpose of interaction is not clear. 


But not last Saturday! It was at a flat down in Wimbledon. I stopped over at Waterloo first, the sun was great, but I needed sunscreen badly! I wore my flowy neon skirt and I really felt summery. After the disappointment that was Saturday morning, I headed down to Wimbledon, not without picking up a few things to share, Almond Twists, Carrot Cake and Carrots (Yep, Healthy balance! lol). The shinding hadn't started, the host was just cutting the chicken fillets, 'I'm so hungry already' I thought!

After about an hour, others started coming in with some food to share and just their nice presence. After we got starters arranged on the table, it began! 

Got involved in a game called Catan, very complicated at first, but was great once we got into it, two hours passed and we didn't even know! We had to break up for supper atlast. We tried to save the game layout, so we could continue after eating but alas, an earthquake manifested and the land was broken!

 SUPPER!!

Lamb, Chicken, surprisingly no rice! lol

After the whole thing, we still had dessert! it was hard to go home, but I left at 10:30pm, the train from Wimbledon to Nottinghill must be the slowest train ever! I got home at 12am. Thankfully, someone came to pick me at the station. Just before I went to bed, I was filled with so much thanksgiving, and prayers, then I remembered that the moon was supposed to be a big deal that night. So I looked out of my window, and there it was, majestically shining on me, really beautiful. Nice way to end my day, it was. I look forward to more of this kind of days ^_^

The Mrs Club pt.2

Man..check

Engagement ring..check

Traditional ceremony ring...check

Court wedding ring..check

White/Mosque wedding ring..check

Surname change..Check!

I am pleased to inform you, you are now a certified member of the Mrs Club!


Lately, I have been having issues with jewelry, I get irritated easily. I doubt I would be able to stand wearing a ring for so long! Talking about taking on a husband surname..I love my surname and I've always been of the opinion that I wouldn't be dropping it. We could form a compound name like Akintola-williams Jeje-philips..really nice looking to me. I always had the dream of marrying a yoruba guy, with a Taylor, Pedro, William, Phillips surname. lol, Igbo surnames were a big no-no. 
Now, I'm not so sure. Infact the idea of taking on someone else's surname is becoming increasingly weird to me, how did this even start. You become Mrs..somebody..I thought the idea of a marriage was cleaving to each other, not disappearing into the man where your only identity is MRS..no not for me.


So why would people do all it takes to become a part of this club? In the movie I watched yesterday, I agreed with this;


''This ritual called a wedding ceremony is really just the final scene of a fairy tale. They never say what happens after. That Cinderella drove the prince mad by obsessively cleaning the castle, cause she missed her day job'' 


Gbam. People just want to have that ceremony, what happens after? No one knows. But we become certified Mr/Mrs. It becomes more about 'status' than about love. The ones who don't realize this, end up hurting the children born under such conditions, and the cycle keeps going on. Maybe when people realize that this is not a do or damned affair, we could have some change.

Lets make a bad tin, good.

Yesterday was supposed to be the worst day of my 2011. But I'm glad I got through it!
Somehow I stumbled on this movie, I have only two words, Watch IT.

Noise

Unmanaged thoughts
Discord in the head
Through all the mind pollution
It’s the Word that must be heard
Cluttered hearts
Blind eyes
Political correctness
In place of the prize
If they move it
From the doorpost
Of every governing place
The Word of God
Lives in the heart
Of His Faithful race
No color code
No barricade
No legislative sneer
Can take the place
Of the Holy Spirit
Drawing us more near

© Cheryl Farris- INTERNAL NOISE: Chaos to Christ

God destroys both the Blameless and Guilty, Is this Just?

Recently, I have been discovering what being 'Christian' really means I describe myself as someone who was lost wandering and wondering through the corridors of religion but has finally found the right path and is discovering something new every day.

So I wrote the title of this post on my Facebook status some weeks ago. I wasn't really expecting answers, I just wanted to see what may be drawn out from people. I knew the answer to the question, I wanted to find out if people also knew. I had done a study before that day and understood why God was, apart from the fact that the scriptures have it written explicitly. The replies I got were quite horrid, and many claimed that I was 'insulting' God. I had to wonder if we were reading the same bible.

Well, fast-forward to the Tsunami that hit Japan, and you have all these questions thrown up also. Any loss of any kind is a sad occurrence and as Humans we should atleast show some compassion to those suffering, but the need to turn it into a God doesn't exist/God Exists debate, is what I don't understand. Some even went as far as saying it was Karma on the Japanese because of Whaling and the bombing on Pearl Harbor, ridiculous. I personally was reminded about how vulnerable we are as Humans, no matter what great achievement we think we have, in the twinkle of an eye, it could be completely wiped out.

So, is this God's Plan/Will, Is it fair? Did God create earthquakes/tsunamis? I may not fully understand why we suffer so much in the world, but the bible gives the best explanation so far. God created everything and it was good and is still good. But what happened? Sin came into the world, and the book of Genesis is clear on how. Relationships were broken. Between God and Man, Man and Man, Man and Animals, Man and Nature. It became a survival of the fittest. This means that as long as we are on this earth, Rain will fall on everybody, nothing like karma but thankfully that's not the end. I am sure the tsunami is a logical occurrence according to the Laws of Nature and since Man has a broken relationship with Nature, it's hard to believe that would have been stoppable. Still, we have seen where good has come out of suffering so it surely cannot be the end. For more on creation and our role as Human Beings, read this paper

To conclude, We know sad things would always happen, but is it worth arguing over what caused it and why (uncontrollable situations) . Why don't we just respond positively to those suffering, offering a hand, offering some aid, offering an ear. Showing love, compassion, tenderness and sensitivity. If all you can do is pray, pray that people are comforted somehow, pray that they might even begin to think about ideas which would ensure a higher level of safety in case of a next time, not only in Japan but in other parts of the world. Give, give your time, efforts and money where possible to aid those suffering. Tender-hearts.....that's all I pray for.

The Plan

I love walking across the field between my house and the train station, in the dark. Lately I haven't done a lot of walking because of the rains which leave the field really soggy. There are three main reasons why I love doing this. One, its a faster route if I have to walk, in other words, if I don't want to spend 130p on a 4min bus ride when I can walk it in 10. Two, I love the open field, because I'm mostly alone with my music, the stars and the moon. The third reason, I found out today. There is a tall block of flats close to my building so when I get to the start of the field station-side and look across, it looks really far away, and even as I start to walk, it seems like I would never get to it. So I began to walk today, and was just enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, looking ahead at the block, I then noticed the moon and stopped, it was a perfect crescent, wish I had a proper camera. When I snapped back to reality and turned to continue the walk, it suddenly seemed like the block of flats was upon me. Before I stopped, It still looked far away, but finally I passed by it and went on home!

While walking, I was listening to Bloc Party's Compliments, which I think is one of the saddest songs ever. Every time I listen to it, I have a personal video of it playing in my head. people like robots marching down seemingly endless stairs, then they fall and disappear. I like it because it is a reminder of how futile this life is without God, a reminder that God has a plan. I love the instruments very much too and no, it's not a 'Christian' Song but it won't cost you anything to listen to it. Just google www.grooveshark.com, type in 'Bloc Party Compliments' then listen. 

We sit and we sigh

And nothing gets done

So right, so clued-up

We just get old

And all the while

Been torn asunder

Nicotine

And bacteria

What are we coming to

What are we gonna do

I thought of how the block of flats represented things that we hope for, things that seem too far to reach, like the Ultimate plan described in the bible , like the things I am presently working towards...so much plans. They look so far of, and even as the days go by, it never seems like I'm getting closer. But I realize that if I sit back and fold my arms, if I give up, I will never reach it. Just like I finally reached the block, my hope is renewed, just like it suddenly came upon me, I know I will get there.

The Re-Adjustment Bureau

A friend and I went to watch a movie called Paul, which was funny and a bit icky. Usually before the movie comes on, you are treated to about 15mins of Movie previews, annoying when you are early to the cinema, wonderful if you are late. As the trailers went by, I thought to myself how it seemed like all the movies coming out, try to talk about Free Will, Chance, Control, Destiny. It may be the effect of this end-of-world story but it just made me realize how much man wants to be in control of his own life and even others around him. How much we want to believe we are the ultimate.

One week later I go to watch one of them, 'The Adjustment Bureau' with Matt Damon (seems to be thrust into any movie involving a chase, guy must love to run), whom I absolutely adore and Emily Blunt, who I've loved since the Devil wears Prada. Plus! I've been reading Philip Dick since I can remember. Anyways, How did it go? It started well for me, I was excited. Then at some point, the context of the movie began to fade into silliness (Only men in the bureau, only one black guy, and Matt Damon dared to ask why he was different..funny!, hats, turning knobs where there was none..e.t.c ). I felt awkward. I can't even say if I like it or not. There are definitely parts I love but  I wouldn't want to watch it again.

The movie has been panned as a 'Bourne meets Inception' movie. It was more like The Matrix meets Mad Men and initiates a threesome with The Notebook, but no where near as awesome as any of them. The movie suggests everything that happens, happens according to a 'Plan' but things change, 'chance'. I like the review of this blog, http://rtbtaketwo.wordpress.com/ and this, God Has No Adjustment Bureau 

'' So what take does the film offer? On the surface, it seems to imply that the Chairman merely reacted to David’s choices. Yet subtle clues appear each time David takes another step down the “untraced” path, hinting that the Chairman knew all along which path he would follow. In the end, the caseworkers offer this preface: “Only the Chairman knows the plan. We only see part of it.”

The “part of it” we can all see in this film reminds us of the constant human effort to understand the nature of God and resolve age-old philosophical debates. Even though many deny him, they cannot help but try to capture his essence through the arts ''

I loved that I could see other parallels with Christianity. I loved when Matt Damon's character was told that the reason they didn't want him to be with Emily's was that He would find her more important than all what he has been pursuing all his life. It could be likened to the 'Devil' constantly trying to prevent us from knowing or seeking God's love, because when we 'get it' we become content because it's all that we need. So I concluded that while I couldn't take the film seriously apart from its sappy romance side, because the movie couldn't really decide whose side it was on, if the Adjustment Bureau represented anything in the Christian belief, It would be the Devil and his minions. lol. 

While the Adjustment Bureau is at work on earth, I'm glad to know there is a Re-Adjustment Crew who will make all things work together for good at the end of the day! :D

I Want to Know What Love Is pt. 1

Heavy night, it was a heavy night
Feels like we've just, come back from the dead
Heavy night, it was a heavy night

I cannot remember what I said to anyone

If we get up now, we can catch the afternoon

Watch the under15's playing football in the park

Let’s sit in St Leonard's on this alcoholic day

We're doing the best, with what we've got

I love you in the morning

When you're still hung over

I love you in the morning

When you're still strung out

I work hard all week and so do you

We deserve to let off some steam

Less orthodox creeping,

We need to rage through all of this life

There might be ones who are smarter than you

That have the right answers that wear better shoes

Forget about those melting ice caps

We're doing the best, with what we've got

I love you in the morning

When you're still hung over

I love you in the morning

When you're still strung out

When I'm with you, I am calm

A pearl in your oyster

Head on my chest a silent smile

A private kind of happiness

You see giant proclamations

Are all very well

But our love is louder than words

Sunday - Bloc Party

As usual as I leave the station, I check to see if the bus marked 140 is close by, then I start to walk west anyway. The invisible harshly caresses my face and I think 'Not this time' and then turn to check again. My eyesight wouldn't allow me see so far, so I move east a bit and there was bus 140 getting bigger.  5mins late would have found me once again, walking along the field, my ears safely tucked under the warmer but sensitive enough to transmit music from the earphones connected to my 'lackberry' across my whole being. Usually, I'd be dancing along as I struggled to walk, with onlookers shaking their collective head in disbelief.  Off the bus, I walk east then north along the asphalt path, alone. Sunday goes through my whole and words cannot express how much I love the song.

The Case for Christian Music

I really do not like the way 'Christian' music is shelved as a genre of music especially when being Christian isn't just a part of a life but one's whole life. I guess this is the reason why many musicians try to break out of that box. They try to make it clear that they are Christians who play music. I would expect that any piece of music that a Christian plays would be one that'd fill me with love, hope, joy, peace, good things regardless of what religion/non-religion I subscribe to. 

Music itself is just unexplainable, its undeniable, it reaches your soul. But just like every other tool that we have, it can have a positive or negative effect. Not everyone feels the way I feel about music, but it's hard to deny its effects. Music made by Christians most times reflect what is written in the bible and is doubly encouraging. There are times I just want to close my eyes..music is a great companion. Lots of times I remember bible verses because of the way an artiste carved them into lyrics. Music is great.

I'm really glad that many Christians just do what they are called to do, play music. It doesn't really matter if 'Christian music is shelved into one corner, I'm glad that's not all there is to it.