I'm Not Brave

''You go to war for love like a soldier

I wanna run away

You're never scared to walk through the fire

I wish I had your faith

I turned away

Knowing my heart could break

I'm so afraid to lay down my armour

I'm not brave

I'm not brave''

#Leona Lewis

I whip my heir back and forth

One Saturday in my distant past, We had gone to spend the day at Apapa Club (as usual) We came back and settled to a nice dinner in the candle-lit living room. Everyone seemed rested, well and happy then my older sister asked me the question..'Where is my wrist watch?' *GHEN GHEN* I had a quick flashback to the swimming pool changing room..I remembered glancing at the watch on the wooden bench..but sadly I never picked it up. My mum had just given us these mickey mouse watches which she bought on her last trip to the UK. My mum then turned to me, 'Where is the watch?' 'It should be in the bag' I managed, talking about the canvass bag which we put in our towels and swimsuits. My sister exclaims, 'Its not there! I've checked' Next thing I knew, I saw a bottle of water..not bottle, 'keg' flying towards my head.

I got reminded of this topic again, while I watched kids dance to 'I whip my hair' at the party today. How far is too far when it comes to the discipline of a child? There was a topic on Nairaland.com where people talked about the beatings their parents had given them, in some other countries, those experiences would be Child Abuse, pure and simple. While reading the book on Fela, he talked about the beatings he got, it was funny and sad at the same time.

My mum was the disciplinarian, and we did spend a lot of our younger years with her, She used everything from canes (She was a teacher) to branches, 'Omorogun' (Wooden stick used to 'turn eba' or any other paste like that) one time she really took the verse which says 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' to heart and used the rods that were used to build the last born's baby cot. LOL. That day in our play we could have killed ourselves, so I second that punishment! My mum has also done some things which I find unacceptable, but right now I don't feel bitter, then again everyone is not me. I strongly detest physical attacks compared to verbal, infact verbal ones, usually just enter one ear and pass through the next, but physical tends to leave scars which becomes a double edged sword, scars on the body and on the mind. No, I can't stand that. I do not have any scars from any beatings I got from my mum, the only scar you will see on my body are battle scars (My Sister and I) Military scars (Flogging in Nigerian Navy). Flogging in schools was another issue o, I still remember heavily the flogging I got on my legs in Primary four, because of some times table, thankfully no scars!! 

Personally, if I do bring a child into this world, It would be because I have decided to love and care for another human being that is a part of me. There are things I would certainly not do, flogging or beating like there's no tomorrow, no way. I would try to make my child understand why certain things shouldn't be done. Depending on the situation, I hope I would be able to use wisdom and initiative when it comes to that point. I find that the picture of Gods relationship with man is what I'd like to project in my own life. I would want my children to respond to me out of love. I would prefer that the reason they do not do certain things would be mostly because it would hurt not just me, themselves also, just like I wouldn't do things deliberately to hurt them. And I hope they would understand that even though they still do such things and would have to bear the direct/indirect consequence (the sow and reap law), I will always be a mother to them, and my love will never diminish.

Do Ugly people feel less pain?

You know I've thought about this several times but not quite deeply. It was only recently where someone on hearing the death of some girls commented 'and they were so pretty'. I started to think about this again. The importance we lend to physical appearance is so staggering, and it invades every aspect of our lives. I too have made such a comment once upon a time, I can't remember a specific event but I must have. What does someone's percieved 'prettiness' or 'handsomeness' have to do with a sad occurrence in connection with them. Are people who are 'beautiful' in our opinions not supposed to go through pain? Or if they do, is it more than their beauty should allow? Do they get a pass mark, should the 'angel of death' pass over them? We hear it all the time, or is it out of courtesy?, that we just have to make such comments. I am trying to understand. Aaah well.

Rambs

It was a long day. I think the best decision I made was to wear my purple 'space-age' leather/patent-leather boots. I marched through the field which seperated my house and the train station with glee. But as I got to the station I would have to wait 15mins till the next train, WHAT?!?! I needed to not fall into Peak fare time!. Oh no!. But through the speakers the news that Someone had thrown Her/Himself under a train at Bond Street station made the delay make sense. It was also sad. Understandable, but sad.

I got to the Library which was my first point of call, and registeration went smoothly! I also took the prettiest Passport photo I've ever had in my life! If you see my Nigerian Passport photo, you will run wild with laughter, Even my dad was upset about it.

So far I haven't really blogged about many of my interests here, I left that to my school blog, where all the 'Serious' stuff went. But now I'm in the process of revamping it, so I will continue here. I am presently researching IFA, Origins of the world, Japanese culture, Uneme culture, Personality Typing (Myers-Briggs and Jung). So I spent about two hours at the Library. Then I had to head out to the place I volunteer and take a course at around 7pm.

When I left the library it was pouring, I had no hood, no hat, thank goodness my hair is not relaxed!lol. I found the bus stop amidst the rain. Somehow I got off at the wrong stop and managed to get lost. I was going to be late! it took me an hour to get there. Along the way, I was assaulted by a drunken man..He'd have had to be drunk! I was trying to cross the road, and he stopped me midway. I could have gotten hit by a car! He dragged my bag and my arm, being the highly reactive person that I am, I shrugged him off and ran for my dear life while he still mouthed, quite loudly, incoherent words. I was a bit shaken but happy I was almost at the venue.

My hair! Just as we finished for the day, One of the 'white' girls in my group says..'Your hair is done differently today, I like it, I wish my hair could do that' I just chuckled. My hair was pulled up, I can't really describe it, but yeah it looked very good to me.lol. I started to get a bit defensive in my head. Why would she say that? but she probably had the best intentions, no? or was she just trying to be friendly 'cause I mentioned that ALL my friends are Nigerians. Maybe if she had stopped at 'Your hair is nice' I wouldnt have thought these thoughts. oh well, too late! Its funny that our hair, can imitate other 'races' hair, but they could never get the curly we have. I'm so proud of it ^_^.

This Rape Thing

I was on twitter, the day started generally upbeat, then one of those I follow tweeted this link,  http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2010/11/seven-points-on-rape-prevention-and.html and I usually open 99% of the links she tweets, So I did and started to read.

It just began to stir what had been in sitting in my soul. And I was really boiling. I CANNOT comprehend HOW a RAPE victim can be BLAMED!!!!!!!!!! was one of the first things I tweeted. And then, one of my followers starts to ask me if its true some girls enjoy rape??? maybe if rape was just about having sex.

The annoying thing is most RAPE happens inside a nice warm house, with someone the VICTIM KNOWS. People are so quick to dismiss the topic, I WONDER WHY?? Only the previous day had I watched on the telly, A man who murdered his wife because he didnt want her to know he raped two young girls. Another follower then tweeted, maybe those who commit rape are starved of sex. Why are people so quick to justify these actions?? How do you know he/she is being starved of sex?? Rape is not about whether the person was starved or not. 

The only persons who may have an excuse are those who have Mental problems or Those who have been cursed from their village. Some people like to turn their noses, because it seems like such a messy thing to think about. In the case I watched on TV, probably the woman thought, Rape doesnt affect me, I have no daughters and I live in a very protected little town with the nicest husband, but it was the Husband who RAPED, and didn't want her to know it, so he sent her to the great beyond with a hammer while she slept.

I didnt know my neighbors were Rapists, once upon a time in Victoria Island. One New Years day in a far away country, I KNEW. I blogged about the incident, because it really hurt me http://teanni.blogspot.com/2008/02/raped.html So-called Island Oil Big boys!!! They were NOT starved of any sex!! They had been raping others, but no one cared cause they were 'Sluts' anyways, plus they were given money. Then they raped a 16 year old girl on New Years day. A girl who came to visit at my house.

RAPE hardly occurs ALONE, theres always some other 'Crime' before and after it. It usually comes with a multitude of lies and some times psychological raping of the victims mind. It could also end up in death. How can anyone still see this as a trivial issue 'You are not the first to be raped' Disgusting!

One of my followers, a guy again said he didn't know, having sex with one's wife without her consent was rape, and I told him, well now, You know!. It takes a wise person to realise where he has been wrong and CHANGE. The burden falls on Human kind, people need to Wake up. We need a serious re-orientation, people shouldn't be taken for granted this way!

In the book, Perdido Street Station by China Mieville, RAPE was punishable by EXILE, (and even some body parts were ripped off). Because it is to STEAL/DESTROY someones chance/choice, just like Murder. But In our society rape gets what, 2 years in jail or none at all?

So someone else, a girl asks me if rape occurs outside the frequent, Male to Female bracket. YES, surely because its more about Power, Force and control than sex itself. There is a case in the first link where a/an homosexual guy goes on a date and his partner rapes him.

Rape occurs ANY which way...Thinking of it now, I know some girls back in Boarding school who were raped by some of our seniors *shudders*

The only situation where I can maybe blame a Victim of Rape is if (for example) The guy was wearing a 'I am a RAPIST' sign and she still followed him. It would be a pity because perhaps the girl thought she/he had a 'Sense of humour'

Just to further understand what Rape is about, here is a parallel.

There was a punishment I was given when I was in Nursery school, I was still called Nurietu then. I wonder why I never forgot, now I know. I was asked to drink water by my aunt. As simple as that. And I loved water then, LOVED it. Only that, I didnt want to drink Water at that time, and I was given about 10 bottles to drink. While I attempted to get past 1 bottle, NO, I wasn't thinking of how much I LOVED water, I was thinking of how much I HATED my aunt.

It is my heartfelt desire, that people stop turning away from the issues. People don't want to talk about it, if we don't, how will anything change?. Another guy on my timeline says, 'Its like any other crime, people will always get raped' Rape is not like any other crime. In many instances, It would not be seen as a crime, therein lies the issue. My people please, let's Wake UP.

P.S: I find that even the so-called intelligent/intellectual men are usually mute on this topic, some say it would just be stating the obvious. This is where you see Assumption becoming a Hydra. If It was so damn obvious and people used their common-sense why is this commonplace? Sometimes the so-called obvious needs to be CARVED in the sky.

I learnt today that

                                         Atheists actually claim to be God.

Toughest Video Games

The hardest games I've ever played..Megaman, Mario 1

Megaman was so hard it wasn't funny, and these were truly the days of proper gaming, NO CHEAT. When you see GAME OVER, e don done!

Watching Captain N, made it worse, I couldn't get into the telly to play the stages myself..still XBOX Kinect DOES NOT appeal to me

All this talk of gaming, I need to burst out my SNES emulator...after I sort my neck out! I keep hurting myself :(

We used to call gaming 'Tanning' then lol. so much fun, too much fun. I've done things for gaming I wouldn't even do for love.

Used to it

I AM USED TO IT, he said. I tasted bile. I wanted to slap his brains out, but the immediate realization that he probably didn’t have any brains to begin with, to have made such a comment left me feeling disgusted. My stomach churned.

I wanted to throw up, used to it? Used to mediocrity, used to living in the mire used to stolen choices, used to being a 10^th class citizen in your own country, which sane person can be used to Nigeria??!!!. 

My friend and I had been discussing , her past and current situation. We were on the particular topic of power and he goes to say something stupid like, He’s used to it?? I had a rush of emotions, I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry as my mind came back to this article i had seen earlier. Nigerians are indeed cowards, I can clearly see where the problem lies and the writer stated it, the average Nigerian is used to the situations and likes to just manage things. For people who are used to a particular situation where is the zeal for change? Non-existent. 

I remember a chat with another friend, he said he loved the freedom in Nigeria, no stress on taxes, he could park anywhere on the road, he could drive as fast as he wanted anywhere , he could do almost anything in Nigeria and get away with it, sure I thought,  when a head of state can loot our treasury in broad daylight and get away with it, when the so-called guardians of the nation chop the cake everyday, what more do you expect from this chaotic mass. 

Cowards, yes, to be used to this situation, to put aside courage, cowards indeed. 

I am not used to it, never was, never will be. A nation owes its citizen these basic things, power, water, food, access to quality healthcare, education which if it fails to provide is a failed state. i just saw the pictures of a guy who committed suicide because of the rubbished state our educational systems are in..i still have tears in my eyes

Just when I thought this joke of a country couldn’t get any funnier they go ahead to provide 24hrs cctv in lagos, charge lower animals for crime, a goat for armed robbery, soon they would be arresting mosquitoes for murder. 

At this point I can say I have no loyalty to this failed country even though i love it, I am loyal to my tribe, we just happened to be passing through when we got hedged into this country...I kid.

I could go on and on but Nigerians know what the problem is, themselves! Their top priority is Make money, regardless, so who really cares whether Nepa takes light, abeg we are used to it, I have a borehole in my house, if nepa take their light, me I have gen,,

Some people say those who travel overseas are the cowards, thats plain nonsense, those who travel are rebelling IMO, which is a form of protest, protest against the nonsense that Nigeria is. I heard someone prophesied that there wont be constant power supply till 2017, that’s not too far, I will still be in my twenties, maybe I would come back to Nigeria then

For now…

with all the calm I could muster, I replied my friend

COWARD!

I met my husband on Twitter!

I joined twitter, mid last year, a geeky friend of mine invited me, at first I was like "what the!!" but I began using it. For those of you that know about the Twitter phenomenon im sure you'd understand.  But like most web phenomenons, when you think you've stumbled upon a very cool exclusive web app, next thing you know, well.. celebs and Wannabes are using it, happened with this facebook too. i joined at a time when people where so hung up on Hi5, next thing i know even pets were joining facebook.

Anyway!

Alongside this social networking and notworking apps, there's been the surge of online dating, from the specific dating sites to social sites to forums to chat ,e.t.c, people are hooking up everywhere, and it was just a matter of time that TwitHookups would become a reality, 

Heres a story,

He started following me three months after I joined twitter, his one-line biography read, "Music, movies, comics..im a Scientist". it struck me as "somehow" but i decided to follow back, thats the decent thing to do on Twitter, follow back. Well, one day i made a tweet about how i was tired of watching a particular TV show and he responded, we started a "Twitromance" and then graduated to chats then calls and finally he crossed the ocean, now we are happily married with a kid.

I kid you not,

These things happen, and just when I thought Facebook was the final frontier, Twitter is breaking bounds. its all well and good, but call me a traditionalist or whatever, there are just somethings that will always rage against the machine.

Forum post, last year.lol

Grizzly

That was the first thought or word that came into my mind when I first laid eyes on him. I work in customer service, behind the computers, working away furiously.lol. Well I don’t personally attend to customers, but I see them come into the office, we are separated by a sheet of plexi-glass. 

Anyway, I sent my friend and partner, Tomi an IM, "See that guy he looks like a bear", she paused, glanced at him, looked at me, we both giggled and she sent the ROTFL smiley. We usually had some fun, teasing people harmlessly, when we were less busy. Man, woman, hot, unhot, fine, unfine, Everyone that unfortunately or fortunately walked through the Customer Service Doors of SomeTelComm. We were sending messages back and forth, I wrote to Tomi that he could just start smashing things around in the office and no one wold be able to stop him, Tomi guessed his height, 6.5 max, weight? 300 pounds I sent, ROTFL smiley again from Tomi. I replied with the same, I giggled openly and looked up for a final glance and the strangest thing happened, he happened to look my way and our eyes met or I Imagined it, because the glass was one way, people couldn’t really see inside, but we could see out. 

It was almost 5pm, the hour of salvation. "Lets do this thing and get out of here oh, are we still going to see that movie?", I sent, 'yes now!' Tomi replied, Tomi the movie buff. With that we tied up our assignments, when we got ready to leave, the "Grizzly" came to my mind, I didn’t even know when he left, oh whatever

Silverbird Galleria, the world of unneccessary hookups and bump-intos, I despise the place, if not for the movie, I wont even stress my head. We left our office on Saka Tinubu in Tomi’s Green Jalopy as we had christened the Yaris, her father had given her. My own car, well, I cant even drive.lol

As we came out, checked each other out, 'you look hot jo!' Tomi said, as I put on extra lipgloss, "as hot as Tomi? I don’t think so". In our tweed suits we catwalked into the galleria, took the escalator straight to the ticket booth, purchased two tickets for Hancock. As usual one is bound to meet person or persons known , we had to chat with a couple of people before we got into the screening room. Tomi, a Classmate from University, Me, a former toaster and a Customer. 

As we got into the hall burdened with popcorn and soda, my ticket floated to the floor and in the bid to retrieve it, someone picked it up and was handing it to me, when I turned and saw GRIZZLY behind the person, I almost showered the carpet with a mix of sugar popcorn and even more sugary soda. I regained my balance, gave a quick smile at all and caught up with Tomi, who had gone to secure "quality" seats, as she always called them. I just couldnt believe Grizzly was here, oh ofcourse, he doesn’t know me. I told Tomi she laughed it off and settled into the movie.

When we were done, Tomi was slightly disappointed but I thought it was quite funny, we walked as fast as possible to the car, Tomi had to drop me at home, I stay in VI with my cousins and aunty while Tomi lives in Lekki phase one with Family. Getting home, I was so tired, I grabbed a bit of yam and egg, my dear cousin had prepared and went straight to bed.

I still have the Grizzly on my mind, He was everything I didnt like, Dark, Big, Hairy. Somehow this dude is lodged in my head.

I wrote this back in 2008 on some forum. jeez.lol

A Nice Night

So We went to my Aunty's sons school concert he was going to be performing in the gospel choir. At first I was just like hmm haven't been out of the house in days..as we say 'Make I just stretch leg small abi' But what I saw there threw me back.

These where some of the music played.

The senior orchestra performed March from Aida by Giuseppe Verdi and Clog dance by Ferdinand Harold

The big band jazz played Black Magic Woman by Carlos Santana

The Gospel choir did a number of Kirk Franklin songs, Nice!

The concert band played Putting on the Ritz by Irving Berlin, really great!

The wind band played Handel and the Big Band jazz did a really nice Way cool dude by Michael Sweeney

To wrap it all up, The Concert band played Pirates of the Caribbean..amazing finale!

I was BBMing my friend about the concert and we talked a bit about our time in secondary school. Because most of the performers on stage were just in grades 7 and 8. They played the violin, flutes, cello, guitar, piano, horns e.t.c very well! I remembered back in secondary school while we did 'Music' and learnt how to read a music sheet we never really saw it in action, the 'music club' only consisted of singing. While the Human voice is still the best instrument and it amazes me to no end. Playing one of these other instruments couldn't''t have hurt. In my first year of University I became friends with a girl who I learnt had her violin in school, so I asked her to teach..I started but sadly got bogged down with school work. I still ant to learn. Hopefully SOON! 

Personally If I do have children, I will encourage them to fall in love with these things. Music is such a potent tool in this world nothing is like it, amazing! I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

This Social Network and Others

Movie

I was going to write a lot concerning social netwworks and the effect on the world and our general outlook, but then I got tired. My brain was shutting down. But very plainly, I watched this movie yesterday, about facebook founders. One emotion I felt when i left the cinema was jealousy!. Hmm, Yeah. I told my friend I wished I was the one who thought of and created facebook. But mm..its not that bad.lol. I was disgusted by the animosity that developed between friends because of such a fickle thing as money..sigh, Human nature. Overall, It was an OK movie.

Book

I gave my friend my Fela book on Monday, and while reading on the tube, he almost missed his stop. The book is THAT good. You will be doing yourself a great disservice if you don't read it, HONESTLY! I don't agree with all the ideology presented there, but I think the most important, A cry for Nigerians, A cry for Africans to WAKE UP can be felt and agreed with.....

Herbs

I also caught a cold on Monday, I saw my friend off, and I wasn't prepared for the biting conditions. I got home and started wheezing, sneezing, coughing..I could hardly sleep. The next morning..yesterday, no one told me to go take a clove of garlic. I also made a Cough syrup, chopped and mashed garlic mixed with honey, which is left for some time, works WONDERS. This cough didn't see the light of today. I shared it on Twitter (Power of social network) and one of my followers decided to try, she called it my Babalawo thingz..ordinary garlic and honey o! LOL Anyways, I will wait to hear her verdict tomorrow, but Garlic is very potent #thatisall

Nanowrimo

So............somehow everything came together yesterday! I'd been thinking of what to write, of course I knew the direction I wanted to go in, but It didn't still seem alive to me. Yesterday I had a friend over, and we talked about several things. It all began to come together in my head the things I should write about, the way i should write and  eureka! I have a story. It may be nothing by some so-called standards but I need to start somewhere, We Nigerians need to start somewhere, by telling our stories how it actually was, not the way the 'White' man has painted it and spread for the whole world to believe. 

It's really hard to think for us that came from a civilization of the Egyptians could have gone from that to nothing. Thankfully the truth is beginning to come out and hopefully, people would begin to embrace the truth. It is always difficult to come in from no where and try to change someone's conviction about something. The illustration I always use is the Cow and Goat. If for years a group of people have been told that A Cow is a Goat, How dare you come and tell them that the animal they call Goat, is really just a Cow. Convictions are hard to break, but there is a certain power in Stories, Literature and Entertainment as a whole.

Anyways I'm going to look for more books, I could use for my story. I would start writing now, but reading is never a wasted effort ^_^. I also need focuuuuuuuuuuss.

On another hand I've been having some weird dreams about a Japanese prince...talking about hearing his own side of the story, perhaps its just my recent readings and the whole 'story' thing that has triggered this, but could there be more to it? Wash at for Part Two!!!! lol. 

Cheers!

Bloody Vampires!

No!, not these ones...Aaliyah still managed to look pretty though.
I doubt most people, remember these...

(Courtesy: The Nigerian Nostalgia 1960-1980s project on Facebook)

They are posters from the Anti-Malaria campaign in Nigeria of 1962, Imagine that. An issue we are still fighting tooth and nail. I have been struck uncountable (I could probably count them, but..you get the picture) times by this disease, transmitted by the Queen specie and fought by several 'Quines.

Recently, I was involved in a discussion which was started by a friend, who wrote this

Dear Bill Gates,  

If you really care about eradicating malaria in Africa, why not select a small tropical African town and work very hard until malaria is completely eradicated from that town? That will bring us much closer to solving the problem than a thousand speeches about how much you care, or a million donations to professional non-profits who have never actually solved any problems.  

You're welcome. :-)

It triggered lots of opinions and solutions towards the issue. My stance has been mainly eradication of the the specie. Firstly by destroying breeding places. I think it is as simple as that. But knowing the kind of poverty people are knee deep in, and the consequent effect this has on the areas they live, I shake my head, this may be too much to ask. I was totally against some ideas, which were hinged on using computers to motivate people and what not, Someone who hasn't eaten where is he going to see computer??. Someone compared it to the weight issues abroad and how the internet helped people lose weight, C'mon!! Anyway as usual, my love for analogies didn't escape here. This is the way I see the Mosquito issue and what has been done so far about it.

This issue is like a house built on a very bad foundation in Lekki. The house begins to have cracks and the roof, holes. People are called in to patch the house and the owners are happy. After a while more patching of the roof and cementing over the cracks. One time a brand new roof is even fitted. The owners are enlightened that their house is on a bad foundation and could collapse any time. If there is any sign of rumble they should run out but in the meantime call people to help patch and cement if they see any faults. 

One day, the house collapses and kills the whole family because they were fast asleep.

Hopefully our case wouldn't get so dire. But the necessary things have to come first, a good environment to live in (for starters) is paramount.

The Best place to meet a 'Mate'

A friend swears today that I will marry a guy I met on the internet and he will be there for my wedding. 'Probably' I told him, I also had to laugh then and we went into a discussion of marriage, weddings and the love we share ^_^ lol.

It was only a while ago that I was thinking up what to post today, that it came to me that I had read an article somewhere which asked 'Where is the best place to find a mate' . There's something funny in my head when someone says 'mate' I instantly think 'Animal Kingdom'...But the responses were really funny. Some said if you are in the States, ''go to a harvard business school conference...there you will meet fine bobos and sisis with bright prospects. never fails!'' very funny. Many locations, like the church, work, weddings, library, even clubs were mentioned. I decided to google to see what I could find. 

According to

• Cosmo, http://shar.es/0Ryrt The Apple Store! hilarious 
• BNET, http://bit.ly/ciOIX7

(1) Work (2) Health Clubs (3) Church (4) Homes and parties of mutual friends (5) Weddings (6) Conferences and Conventions (7) Social and Community Organizations (8) Public Transportation - Bus Stops,Train Stations, Airports (9) Laundromats (10) Supermarkets

For me, I couldn't be bothered to go out normally but, 

Work - I have worked around attractive young men, but they were mostly 'taken' so, severely off my sights, I only had one married guy, who still claims love for me even now after 2yrs so interested in me. I don't like the idea to be honest.

Health Clubs - Maybe I need to google and find them ASAP! lol

Church - I always feel weird when I am approached in church on this matter, one reason I don't go to the same church more than twice in a row, Infact I stopped going to church altogether (jking) but yeah, it erks me, but i know its very possible.

Homes and Parties of friends - Hmm, but I wouldn't go to a party just like that, haven't been to a house party since I was a teenager (ok ok...still trying to remember)

Weddings - I don't attend weddings, my mum used to say, 'If you don't attend other people's weddings who will attend yours?' Well it works for me! 'cause I don't want every T, D and H at mine! I only attended two weddings in more than ten years, My sisters' and my friend, where I was on her train, Those are the only exceptions I make.

Conferences and Conventions - Just like the Harvard thing.lol, Hmm..I don't like large crowds, I could only go with a group of people and I would be extremely businesslike here, In fact you go fear my face, I doubt any guy would be sizing me up! lol

Social and Community Organizations - A bit more chill than the above, I actually wouldn't mind.

Public Transportation - I think of Nigeria, and I'm filled with laughter. Well I have locked eyes with a few guys, exchanged smiles even said a few words. This one could be quite romantic ^_^

Laundromats - I don't go there, I actually wanted to go once, but I postponed it like no tomorrow, I just couldn't be bothered meeeehn.

Supermarket - If He offers to pay for my monthly shopping, why not! if not, No can do! hehe. Honestly, I would dislike being approached here, It could be nice, who knows!

Anyhow, I do know I’ve met the best men (mate material.lol) so far in my life ONLINE! lol! I spend lots of my time on here so why not, and it wasn’t at any dating site..pls I can’t spend any money, I’m not that desperate.lol. And none of us were ‘looking’ But me I can’t date anyone I haven’t actually seen or interacted with physically. The ones I got to meet physically so far, have been really great guys (some) but not just for me  . Still hoping to meet one very awesome guy next month, fingers crossed.hehe

Therefore! The best place you can meet your ‘mate’ is where people are! and You can meet people ANYWHERE, online or offline. If they will be your mate consequently...depends on who they are, and not where you met them. It depends on your compatibility and level of commitment, not location.