One Saturday in my distant past, We had gone to spend the day at Apapa Club (as usual) We came back and settled to a nice dinner in the candle-lit living room. Everyone seemed rested, well and happy then my older sister asked me the question..'Where is my wrist watch?' *GHEN GHEN* I had a quick flashback to the swimming pool changing room..I remembered glancing at the watch on the wooden bench..but sadly I never picked it up. My mum had just given us these mickey mouse watches which she bought on her last trip to the UK. My mum then turned to me, 'Where is the watch?' 'It should be in the bag' I managed, talking about the canvass bag which we put in our towels and swimsuits. My sister exclaims, 'Its not there! I've checked' Next thing I knew, I saw a bottle of water..not bottle, 'keg' flying towards my head.
I got reminded of this topic again, while I watched kids dance to 'I whip my hair' at the party today. How far is too far when it comes to the discipline of a child? There was a topic on Nairaland.com where people talked about the beatings their parents had given them, in some other countries, those experiences would be Child Abuse, pure and simple. While reading the book on Fela, he talked about the beatings he got, it was funny and sad at the same time.
My mum was the disciplinarian, and we did spend a lot of our younger years with her, She used everything from canes (She was a teacher) to branches, 'Omorogun' (Wooden stick used to 'turn eba' or any other paste like that) one time she really took the verse which says 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' to heart and used the rods that were used to build the last born's baby cot. LOL. That day in our play we could have killed ourselves, so I second that punishment! My mum has also done some things which I find unacceptable, but right now I don't feel bitter, then again everyone is not me. I strongly detest physical attacks compared to verbal, infact verbal ones, usually just enter one ear and pass through the next, but physical tends to leave scars which becomes a double edged sword, scars on the body and on the mind. No, I can't stand that. I do not have any scars from any beatings I got from my mum, the only scar you will see on my body are battle scars (My Sister and I) Military scars (Flogging in Nigerian Navy). Flogging in schools was another issue o, I still remember heavily the flogging I got on my legs in Primary four, because of some times table, thankfully no scars!!
Personally, if I do bring a child into this world, It would be because I have decided to love and care for another human being that is a part of me. There are things I would certainly not do, flogging or beating like there's no tomorrow, no way. I would try to make my child understand why certain things shouldn't be done. Depending on the situation, I hope I would be able to use wisdom and initiative when it comes to that point. I find that the picture of Gods relationship with man is what I'd like to project in my own life. I would want my children to respond to me out of love. I would prefer that the reason they do not do certain things would be mostly because it would hurt not just me, themselves also, just like I wouldn't do things deliberately to hurt them. And I hope they would understand that even though they still do such things and would have to bear the direct/indirect consequence (the sow and reap law), I will always be a mother to them, and my love will never diminish.
2 comments:
lol,i like dis post, my mum used to make us fetch our own cane n if u came with a small fragile cane,she whip u with it till it ends then u ve get anoda. I was lucky tho cus am last born, didnt get whipped as much as my bruvas n sis.
i detest those days of beating...it was terrible n i so much hated my mum then...i also went to a military skool and could not avoid the koboko(horse whip) of d soldiers even when you are not at fault, u must get a taste of it...Thank God i do not have any scar :p
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